Little things that are driving me crazy
 

On day 6, I know I will not drink, but little things are driving me NUTS. The following tiny things have all made me tear up, fume, and outright cry:

1. cleaning ice off my car
2. forgetting my sunglasses while driving
3. a look a neighbor gave me
4. smudging my mascara
5. a completely reasonable request from a colleague
6. lines in the grocery check out

It feels like I have all these random emotions which can spill up and out at any moment. I look forward to my run this evening, which usually calms me down. Until then, I'll just feel all the feels I guess :scared:

:c011:

My first few weeks were random bouts with rage. I just wanted to punch strangers in the face.

Hang in there, it gets better! :ring

:react


I remember that. Good job, just keep going. Sometimes I go and do 50 jumping jacks if I need to run and can't until later. It helps. :)

It does get better.

Sounds perfectly normal at 6 days :)

Lots of feels coming your way :grouphug:

day 17 for me and those emotional rollercoasters have gotten easier. The first week I felt like I was crowded with requests, crying kids, so many daily tasks and a messy house. I totally get the acknowledging that a request or need is reasonable but letting yourself be annoyed and knowing I was being silly. I know each persona timeline is different, but it gets easier!

I felt that way too. I wanted to punch everyone!

It does settle down over time.

Same here. Exercise seems to be helping a lot.

Sounds familiar to me too - I was SO sick when I quit that I didn't feel much (except physical sickness) but then I sure did. Waves of the bad stuff - I can remember some distinct points like one week at 4 mos.....

However the process goes or how long things take, it's been much better being sober and dealing with whatever than being drunk all the time and dealing with the whatever that came with that!

Keep going.

Professor D, I am RIGHT there with you (and I am loving these stories about wanting to punch strangers, because that is my life!) :scorebad

I found in my first 60 days or so that I was pretty much a raw nerve, and long numbed feelings surfaced with a vengeance.

Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.

This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.

At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.

I'm very lucky to have him.

I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.

Hi ProfessorD,

Sitting with the feelings can be a real test! I'm glad you're getting through this.

Wow! You indeed sound like a Mindful Man. Thanks for this! Really great advice for me right now!!:You_Rock_

Today was just garbage. I never got over the feelings and acquired a weird headache. I'm hungry but nothing sounds appetizing. I went on my run and I did some cleaning. I did all the work I need to do, and now I'm just counting down the minutes before I can go to bed. But I feel, deep down, really good. Do I know what I'm feeling or why? No. Maybe I'll gain clarity eventually. But I do know I don't need to drink. I'm going to journal and then I'm going to sleep. And tomorrow will be a fresh day.

Thank you all for your support. :notworthy

Hi ProfessorD. All the good stuff's already been said. ;) - but I'd like to agree that what you're feeling is typical and normal. These early days are killer - but they'll pass - you will heal and rise above them. Then you'll never have to go through this again. Proud of you for soldiering on - you're doing this!

Early recovery can be an emotional roller coaster for a while. Stay sober and it will get better. :hug:

I am by nature somewhat irritable and hypersensitive about things like neighbors looking at me, ha, needless to say much more so when hungover or in the initial stages of sobriety. While it got better after a month or so, I remained on a very short fuse for a good 9 months. I'm not sure what changed chemically after that point, but I'm feeling much more mellow about all this noise. Just throwing it out there. I'm so glad that I actually had the benefit of others' experiences (here on SR), which allowed me to manage expectations better.