Little things that are driving me crazy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Little things that are driving me crazy
On day 6, I know I will not drink, but little things are driving me NUTS. The following tiny things have all made me tear up, fume, and outright cry:
1. cleaning ice off my car
2. forgetting my sunglasses while driving
3. a look a neighbor gave me
4. smudging my mascara
5. a completely reasonable request from a colleague
6. lines in the grocery check out
It feels like I have all these random emotions which can spill up and out at any moment. I look forward to my run this evening, which usually calms me down. Until then, I'll just feel all the feels I guess
1. cleaning ice off my car
2. forgetting my sunglasses while driving
3. a look a neighbor gave me
4. smudging my mascara
5. a completely reasonable request from a colleague
6. lines in the grocery check out
It feels like I have all these random emotions which can spill up and out at any moment. I look forward to my run this evening, which usually calms me down. Until then, I'll just feel all the feels I guess
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by ProfessorD 
, I'll just feel all the feels I guess
My first few weeks were random bouts with rage. I just wanted to punch strangers in the face.
Hang in there, it gets better!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 172
day 17 for me and those emotional rollercoasters have gotten easier. The first week I felt like I was crowded with requests, crying kids, so many daily tasks and a messy house. I totally get the acknowledging that a request or need is reasonable but letting yourself be annoyed and knowing I was being silly. I know each persona timeline is different, but it gets easier!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Sounds familiar to me too - I was SO sick when I quit that I didn't feel much (except physical sickness) but then I sure did. Waves of the bad stuff - I can remember some distinct points like one week at 4 mos.....
However the process goes or how long things take, it's been much better being sober and dealing with whatever than being drunk all the time and dealing with the whatever that came with that!
Keep going.
However the process goes or how long things take, it's been much better being sober and dealing with whatever than being drunk all the time and dealing with the whatever that came with that!
Keep going.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I found in my first 60 days or so that I was pretty much a raw nerve, and long numbed feelings surfaced with a vengeance.
Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.
This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.
At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.
I'm very lucky to have him.
I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.
Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.
This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.
At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.
I'm very lucky to have him.
I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
I found in my first 60 days or so that I was pretty much a raw nerve, and long numbed feelings surfaced with a vengeance.
Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.
This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.
At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.
I'm very lucky to have him.
I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.
Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.
This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.
At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.
I'm very lucky to have him.
I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.
Wow! You indeed sound like a Mindful Man. Thanks for this! Really great advice for me right now!!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Today was just garbage. I never got over the feelings and acquired a weird headache. I'm hungry but nothing sounds appetizing. I went on my run and I did some cleaning. I did all the work I need to do, and now I'm just counting down the minutes before I can go to bed. But I feel, deep down, really good. Do I know what I'm feeling or why? No. Maybe I'll gain clarity eventually. But I do know I don't need to drink. I'm going to journal and then I'm going to sleep. And tomorrow will be a fresh day.
Thank you all for your support.
Thank you all for your support.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi ProfessorD. All the good stuff's already been said. 
- but I'd like to agree that what you're feeling is typical and normal. These early days are killer - but they'll pass - you will heal and rise above them. Then you'll never have to go through this again. Proud of you for soldiering on - you're doing this!
- but I'd like to agree that what you're feeling is typical and normal. These early days are killer - but they'll pass - you will heal and rise above them. Then you'll never have to go through this again. Proud of you for soldiering on - you're doing this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 166
I am by nature somewhat irritable and hypersensitive about things like neighbors looking at me, ha, needless to say much more so when hungover or in the initial stages of sobriety. While it got better after a month or so, I remained on a very short fuse for a good 9 months. I'm not sure what changed chemically after that point, but I'm feeling much more mellow about all this noise. Just throwing it out there. I'm so glad that I actually had the benefit of others' experiences (here on SR), which allowed me to manage expectations better.
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