Little things that are driving me crazy - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-17-2018, 09:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853

Little things that are driving me crazy


On day 6, I know I will not drink, but little things are driving me NUTS. The following tiny things have all made me tear up, fume, and outright cry:

1. cleaning ice off my car
2. forgetting my sunglasses while driving
3. a look a neighbor gave me
4. smudging my mascara
5. a completely reasonable request from a colleague
6. lines in the grocery check out

It feels like I have all these random emotions which can spill up and out at any moment. I look forward to my run this evening, which usually calms me down. Until then, I'll just feel all the feels I guess
ProfessorD is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to ProfessorD For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (01-17-2018), AAPJ (01-19-2018), Anna (01-17-2018), August252015 (01-17-2018), biminiblue (01-17-2018), BTLover (01-17-2018), Chuck39 (01-21-2018), DarklingSong (01-17-2018), Dee74 (01-17-2018), Hevyn (01-17-2018), least (01-17-2018), Nonsensical (01-17-2018), PalmerSage (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 09:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,590
Blog Entries: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfessorD View Post
, I'll just feel all the feels I guess


My first few weeks were random bouts with rage. I just wanted to punch strangers in the face.

Hang in there, it gets better!
__________________
You will never possess what you choose not to pursue.
Nonsensical is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Nonsensical For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (01-17-2018), Dee74 (01-17-2018), least (01-17-2018), Offthemast (01-17-2018), PalmerSage (01-17-2018), PeacefulWater12 (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 09:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 18,227



I remember that. Good job, just keep going. Sometimes I go and do 50 jumping jacks if I need to run and can't until later. It helps.

It does get better.
__________________
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea.
~ Isak Dinesen
biminiblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
DarklingSong (01-17-2018), Dee74 (01-17-2018), PalmerSage (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 09:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
under new management
 
2ndhandrose's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,050
Sounds perfectly normal at 6 days

Lots of feels coming your way
__________________
"Catch your breath, take your time."
2ndhandrose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 2ndhandrose For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), doggonecarl (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 10:39 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 172
day 17 for me and those emotional rollercoasters have gotten easier. The first week I felt like I was crowded with requests, crying kids, so many daily tasks and a messy house. I totally get the acknowledging that a request or need is reasonable but letting yourself be annoyed and knowing I was being silly. I know each persona timeline is different, but it gets easier!
Readygo is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Readygo For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), least (01-17-2018), PalmerSage (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 10:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
PeacefulWater12's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 1,381
I felt that way too. I wanted to punch everyone!

It does settle down over time.
__________________
Quit date - 22nd June 2010
Living in the 12 steps of AA, Al-anon & OA.
PeacefulWater12 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to PeacefulWater12 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), PalmerSage (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 11:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 24
Same here. Exercise seems to be helping a lot.
t1psy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to t1psy For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 11:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
August252015's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,958
Sounds familiar to me too - I was SO sick when I quit that I didn't feel much (except physical sickness) but then I sure did. Waves of the bad stuff - I can remember some distinct points like one week at 4 mos.....

However the process goes or how long things take, it's been much better being sober and dealing with whatever than being drunk all the time and dealing with the whatever that came with that!

Keep going.
__________________
August

Quote:
"Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice in Wonderland
August252015 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to August252015 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 12:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,430
Professor D, I am RIGHT there with you (and I am loving these stories about wanting to punch strangers, because that is my life!)
PalmerSage is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PalmerSage For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 02:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
MindfulMan's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,560
I found in my first 60 days or so that I was pretty much a raw nerve, and long numbed feelings surfaced with a vengeance.

Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.

This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.

At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.

I'm very lucky to have him.

I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.
MindfulMan is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MindfulMan For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), least (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 02:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,040
Hi ProfessorD,

Sitting with the feelings can be a real test! I'm glad you're getting through this.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-17-2018), least (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 07:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Quote:
Originally Posted by MindfulMan View Post
I found in my first 60 days or so that I was pretty much a raw nerve, and long numbed feelings surfaced with a vengeance.

Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.

This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.

At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.

I'm very lucky to have him.

I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.

Wow! You indeed sound like a Mindful Man. Thanks for this! Really great advice for me right now!!
ProfessorD is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ProfessorD For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (01-18-2018), least (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 07:27 PM   #13 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Today was just garbage. I never got over the feelings and acquired a weird headache. I'm hungry but nothing sounds appetizing. I went on my run and I did some cleaning. I did all the work I need to do, and now I'm just counting down the minutes before I can go to bed. But I feel, deep down, really good. Do I know what I'm feeling or why? No. Maybe I'll gain clarity eventually. But I do know I don't need to drink. I'm going to journal and then I'm going to sleep. And tomorrow will be a fresh day.

Thank you all for your support.
ProfessorD is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ProfessorD For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (01-18-2018), least (01-17-2018), Offthemast (01-17-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 07:33 PM   #14 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York - Catskill Mtns.
Posts: 38,729
Hi ProfessorD. All the good stuff's already been said. - but I'd like to agree that what you're feeling is typical and normal. These early days are killer - but they'll pass - you will heal and rise above them. Then you'll never have to go through this again. Proud of you for soldiering on - you're doing this!
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

Hevyn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
least (01-17-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018), Rar (01-18-2018)
Old 01-17-2018, 08:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 80,599
Blog Entries: 32
Early recovery can be an emotional roller coaster for a while. Stay sober and it will get better.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

least is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (01-18-2018), ProfessorD (01-17-2018)
Old 01-18-2018, 06:49 AM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 
Eaglelizard's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 166
I am by nature somewhat irritable and hypersensitive about things like neighbors looking at me, ha, needless to say much more so when hungover or in the initial stages of sobriety. While it got better after a month or so, I remained on a very short fuse for a good 9 months. I'm not sure what changed chemically after that point, but I'm feeling much more mellow about all this noise. Just throwing it out there. I'm so glad that I actually had the benefit of others' experiences (here on SR), which allowed me to manage expectations better.
Eaglelizard is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Eaglelizard For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (01-18-2018)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:34 AM.