I hate myself!
 

I'm really struggling to cope with anxiety. I started drinking again after 8 days and I feel absolutely dreadful. I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a bus. So I drank some wine to take the edge off.

I hate what I have become. I want to stop. I really want to stop.

I am dreading tonight and tomorrow as I will be so anxious and it will be awful.

So sorry for the self pity, I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

You can do this! I'm on Day #1. I'm feeling terrible too, but if you are anything like me you have to quit.

Thanks 1155. Congratulations on day 1!

I have to quit. I'm terrified that I have badly damaged my health by binging over many years. I don't want to waste any more of my life feeling like this. It is absolutely soul destroying.

I'm so sorry, and I've totally been there. I hate that feeling of drinking in the morning to take the edge off. And the dread of fearing your future emotions. You can survive this! What you're feeling right now will be the motivation you need to recover.

It really is horrific. However, I shall use it as a motivator to stop. I did it before and I started to feel great. But then I messed up. I shall use these forums every single day.

You can do this sunflower.....be kind to yourself!

[QUOTE=Sunflower17;6746983]Thanks 1155. Congratulations on day 1!

I have to quit. I'm terrified that I have badly damaged my health by binging over many years. I don't want to waste any more of my life feeling like this. It is absolutely soul destroying.[/QUOTE

I feel the same way, but the only way we can repair our bodies and souls is to never drink again!

I know 1155. I don't want to drink anymore. It makes me hate myself so much.

I hope I can! I'm desperate to feel better!

Take a look at your life with the drink in it.
Think about and imagine your life without it.

"just don't know what to do with myself anymore"

It's easy quitting. Staying quit takes some work.
Are you really ready to put in the work.
What's going to be different this time.

Wishing you sobriety,
V.

I've stopped counting the days wild F
I am taking action on my plan
My thinking/feelings are corrosive if I don't act to change the mood.
I am currently doing the following -
Morning on my knees check in and talk to my HP. Serenity prayer for me and some courageous empowered talk. No whining no victim a winning attitude it must be strong and determined it's a relationship with my HP I have to do my part of that relationship to keep it working for me!
Read short section of my AA big book
Review and add to my gratitude list
Read a daily meditation
Then reference my to do list which I wrote the night before when I went to bed.
And a simple to the point journal entry if I'm Mad! Usually at myself for crumbling so many times and the **** it creates.
This takes me around 15 mins.
Drinking takes days and days!
Then I have a cup of tea and get on with my day.

There's more but I just wanted to share that with you.
G
Chin up wildflower
The only obstacle to your new sober life is you.
I'm my obstacle and I'm my way out.
Don't be afraid you were born to do this!

get any residual booze OUT of the house, down the drain, down the toilet, GONE. make you home "sober central".

anxiety is no fun.....but it is survivable, without alcohol. exchange despair for hope, combat sadness by finding joy. start a gratitude list - don't worry about coming up with THE BEST LIST EVER....just list the small simple things already in your life for which you are grateful.

cherish sobriety. cherish yourself. you are worth it.

Thanks Ghosted. Your words have really resonated with me. I am so sick of this battle with myself.

I am working all week this week so I will not drink. However, my 'problem' time will be the weekend. I have tended to drink from Friday through till Sunday... And I was drinking during the week as well.

I intend to make plans with my sober friend so that I am busy and away from temptation. There is no alcohol in the house and I will not buy anymore.

I intend to make today my day one.

Thank you!!! I've never done a gratitude list before. It sounds like a good idea :thanks

My sponsor calls gratitude the aristocrat of emotion. I love that.
Addiction is an illness of negativity!
So I must count my blessings
Be determined to access positive energy
I need a daily program
It's what I am presently doing
Surprise surprise
I'm enjoying a decent quality of sobriety!
Recovery in my experience is simple
But I am complicated that's the rub!
Surround yourself wherever and whenever you can with sober winners
It's contagious!!
Tough love states that
I have to get off :c011:my arse humble myself be sincere and honest stay right sized.. Don't get over excited when I'm doing well, develop mature emotions and slowly rise.
That's my plan!
G

I'm dreading going to sleep as I just know I'm going to have an awful night! My anxiety is horrific 😢

You can do this sunflower ☺

You may well have a bad night but at least you won't have a hangover in the morning so will feel a bit better.

When I got sober last time my anxiety almost disappeared. Occasionally came back but I could manage it. Since picking up again my anxiety is awful too. Drinking causes my anxiety doesn't cure it. I'm only on day 8 but feel slightly less anxious each day. I know it will get better and it will for you too.

Sunflower, I'm sorry that you're really struggling right now. Alcoholism takes everything important from us, and leaves us feeling hatred towards ourselves. That's how it keeps us hooked. You can get through the night, and yes, you will likely struggle with anxiety tomorrow, but you can get past it. You can begin to like yourself and be proud of yourself.

Thinking of you wildflower
G

The alcohol-induced-anxiety and shame are two of my biggest motivators to quit, Sunflower. It's horrible and in my head I know there will be so much less anxiety without alcohol in my life. Just wanted to wish you well and let you know you aren't alone. X