This is hard..
 

I don't even know where to begin. I went to visit family and I went on a bender. My SO wasn't there so maybe that's why I thought it was okay. For over a week straight I went HARD. Every day all day. Before that I drank just not that hard.

I know I have a problem. I have the worst anxiety right now.. pacing around.. with this cough that won't go away..scratchy throat.. sweating.. sure my blood pressure is high..

Little backstory.. I had a liver biopsy done when I was 28 because my enzymes were around 500. Normal was anywhere from 70-120 or so.. that was from a previous bender.. diagnosed with fatty liver disease. Too young for this..

I am 30 now.. with no regard for my health it's pathetic..I have a 4 year old son who is at that stage.. I wanna see him grow up.. i think this bender is it for me... I need to stop.. I wanna stop.. it's so ******* hard. I'm going to have my wife drive me to a meeting when I start feeling better..I'm only hour 26 or so from my last drink.. I feel terrible...there's no way I can have another drink.. I'm not like everyone else.. I can't handle it. I can't drink responsible like other people I know... No one gets it :/..

I had to tell someone.. my wife doesn't understand the power alcohol has on people as she doesn't drink. She just thinks I don't listen to her when she tells me not to drink..

Welcome to the family. :)

Yes, it is hard, but it can be done if you are determined. For me, I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. :)

I would like to say that this is not hard but it is. You are doing the right thing by reaching out. It was a year and 4 months ago I reached out for help and found out that I could not do this by myself. By the grace of my Higher Power I am sober today. Admitting that we are powerless is a Big Step. No one wants to admit that they are powerless and out of control. Least of all me. I hope that the meeting goes good. Get some numbers and don't be afraid to give them a call. We have all been there. Just remember to take it one day at a time. Sometimes we have to take one hour at a time. I wish you the best of luck!

how are you today XboxOneX705 ?