I was like you in that when I stuck to beer(s) I was 'in control'. Then after a few beers, I'd sometimes have a shot or 5+ shots. Then, I would have a blowup with my now exgf(who also drinks too much) and we'd both apologize the next day(sometimes a few days later)..Then.. I was drinking daily to 'maintain' and 'function',getting dui(s),losing business and friends..My point is..It progresses. Before I knew it I was trapped in my mind with 85% of my focus on drinking. I'm so happy to have a free mind again.

Hi Archie, I'm only on Day 2 (this time...my last time), however have had several relapses. I've tried to moderate too many times to count, and it (obviously) has never worked. I think I am finally accepting that it's not possible, at least for me. No holds barred after that first drink. I have a 2 year old who should not have to see me like that. She shouldn't have to be subjected to that during her childhood. I want to be the best mom I can and binge drinking/blacking out just does not fit into that picture. Good luck with whatever you choose! As others have said, being completely sober is much easier than fighting with moderation.

i didnt get blackouts every time i drank, but every time i got a blackout i was drinkin.
i didnt do and say insane things every time i was drunk, but every time i did and said insane things i was drunk.

i hope youre not thinkin about moderation. seems if you could do that, you already would be able to.

" Should I try to just stick to beer ? '
seems if you could do that you already would be doing that.

One of the worst days I can remember was when I finally realized I just could not have that first drink at all. That really sucked because I liked drinking so much. But once I fully understood that, it was easier to make my mind up to let alcohol go.

However, it took 5 years after that realization before I finally committed to stoping, I just kept drinking to oblivion until the repercussions became more than I could take, I just hope I stay the course and follow through.

Hi Archie

I was terrified to think about not drinking. My life was all about drinking and my drinking defined me.

I thought life sober would be dull and grey, with no joy.

The good news is it's no such thing. It meant a lot of changes for me, sure,. but they were good changes. I rediscovered a me I had forgotten about - and I could look myself in the eyes in the mirror again.

You won't find many people here trying to moderate - and there's a reason for that.

I have a toxic relationship with alcohol. When I drink alcohol all my good intent goes out the window...so I stopped drinking alcohol.

Trying sorta not to drink too much is indulging that toxic relationship - the outcome will always be the same, sooner or later

D