Failed at the last hurdle
 

Had day two in the bag. Daughter was at a party and I was driving the thirty mile round trip to pick her and a friend up at mid night so found the evening easy as I obviously couldnt and didnt want to drink.
The friends mum came to the door at twelve thirty to thank me for doing the pick up and thrust a cold bottle of wine at me to say how much she appreciated it.........
I dont really need to go on, do I?
Two thirty and one empty bottle later 😞
I am so determined to get a hold on this now. I have to be ready for the little surprises that come from no where.
I have to stay vigilant.
I will start again, felt so good yesterday and now just feel useless.
This is my new start.
Hope everyone has a great weekend, extra long one here in UK, due to summer bank holiday.
C

Never mind. Just start again.

What could you have done differently, that is, what exactly will you do if this happens again (apart from not drink it obviously - that's a given)?

Cuckoo , don't worry man, just get back on track again man, we all only have this for today,

I am back to day 1 also, pick yourself up and start again good luck

Just hit the 24 week Mark, feeling good but it's not always plain sailing, McGregor fight tonight would be a big trigger but I'll be vigilant,

Thank you all for your comments.
Its true, I can only put last night down to weakness and strengthen my resolve.
I should have declined the wine and suggested that she pick up from the next party. That way, no need for thank you gifts.
Do you think I can call this my new day one as I was drinking till two this morning ?
I just want to jump right back on the wagon and not wait till tommorow. Any thoughts guys ?
C

As long as you don't pick up another drink today it doesn't really matter what you call it cuckoo, not drinking is the most important thing

Yes Playstation, you are right. Its doing it that gets the results. I have decided this is my new day one (from when I woke up), hope no one thinks I am cheating but thats how Ihave to do it for me.
C

Why not? Your day started at 2:30 am so finishes 24 hours from then.

Good thinking decchemist.
Enjoy the fight playstation with a clear head.
Well done for trying again mummy, in this with you. Lets catch up in the morning ?
C

Cheers cuckoo, will do, best of luck and remember yesterday is gone, onwards and upwards again

Cuckoo at least your back good for you you'll make it one day at a time.

Hi Cuckoo :)

I really recommend a recovery plan - that way you can be ready for anything :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

I have come to realise that is the way forward, Dee. Will give it serious consideration.
Off to the shops with my daughte to get supplies for watching a movie this evening.....chicken to make a curry. Cranberry juice and a huge bottle of sparkling water.
Last nights empty bottle is firmly out of sight in the rubbish bin.
Feeling more positive after talking to the lovely peeps on SR this morning 😁
C

Hows it going Cuckoo?

D

That's great news Cuckoo. I was a bit worried when you were asking if today is indeed day 1 as it looked like your AV was telling you to sack today off too like the sneaky nasty voice it is.
Protect your sobriety like it's life or death! I know the bottle last night was a real shocker and maybe you felt it was a done deal as soon as it was handed to you. But life doesnt stop for us does it? Things will continue to test you. I try to take ownership of the fact that I am the one who pours it into my mouth. My sobriety is my responsibility and I have to plan each day and remain vigilant at all times.
Your plan today sounds lovely but maybe take some time soon to plan around the unexpected. You will gain strength from having go-to strategies, actions and excuses even.
Have a great day!

Oops I'm a day behind! How did your day go Cuckoo?

I am the most disgusting horrible person. Why cant I listen ???
Got to Saturday evening, as I said, soft drinks and movie planned.
Didnt even get a crave. Its more like a habit. I stopped and asked myself.....do you really want it. The answer was NO.
Its so stupid, I buy booze coz I miss the thought of it not coz I crave it.
Surely I am halfway there if I dont crave, get sick next day or does that make me more addicted ? Its all so confusing, I need some help please peeps.
C

Respect to all, I would really appreciate your thoughts.
I dont get physical cravings. I just get this overwhelming feeling that I have to "stock up" in case I runout. Does any one else have experiences like this ?
C

my thought:
the answer to why you drank again is in a previous post of yours:
"Will give it serious consideration."
a recovery plan isnt something to sit back and consider.

imo, the reason you bought booze is because you havent decided to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
considering a recovery plan/program kind of says that,eh?

" I just get this overwhelming feeling that I have to "stock up" in case I runout. Does any one else have experiences like this ? "
thats the mental obsession