Posting to hold myself accountable
 

I am STRUGGLING today. I am on vacation in Florida, staying with my dad. Other than while pregnant, I have had alcohol every time I've seen my dad since I was about 15. At cocktail hour (starting at 3pm), I had a slushy drink with the kids, but really wanted the manhattan he made.

I made it through but it is the most struggle I have had since I got sober. It's 77 days today.

You made it through! it sounds tough but you are doing it.
Those slushed drinks are awesome in the heat - as long as you don't suffer 'brain-freeze'

Well done on your sober day 77

great job

https://www.picclickimg.com/d/l400/p...y-sobriety.jpg

Hi applewakesup :)

I drank with my dad too - trouble was after he had two scotches or whatever he;d stop. I'd go home and party on for weeks.

My Dad had a little trouble adjusting to the loss of a drinking biddy but he sees I'm so much happier now so I think he's ok with it.

Recovery has to come first.

D

We went out for an ice cream and now I'm in bed with my book. I'm so glad I'm going to bed sober.

It's amazing how my thinking went spiraling down. I was actually working out how I could drink and it would be fine. I convinced myself that I completely overreacted about drinking and that I should just drink on vacation...maybe sometimes when friends come over... back to hungover every weekend.

Lesson for tonight: I don't have to drink, even if I want to.

I will be checking in here as much as possible this week to keep myself from letting that spiraling talk get into my head.

Thanks all!!!

That was the hardest part for me too...not drinking when going to visit family. It is normal for me not to now. It will get easier. :)

good job posting to keep yourself accountable. congrats on 77 days!!

You handled that so well, Apple. Be proud of yourself. 77 days sober and getting through a tough day today is great.

Made it through another evening and now I'm headed to the beach to see the sunrise!

Gorgeous!
It is so nice to wake up feeling good, right?
Great job!!
Thanks for posting this!!
Have a wonderful sober day,
Jules

"Lesson for tonight: I don't have to drink, even if I want to. "

I don't drink(.) Even if IT wants to.

Have a great trip :)

Apple, I just now saw this thread. I'm sorry not till now. I am so sorry you are struggling, but wow it sounds like you are handling it SO well. You recognize the lie of alcohol. It's hard now, but if you get through it, each time will be easier.

On a recent vacation I had similar thoughts, but I kept reminding myself of how awful I would feel (physically and emotionally) if I wasted my time and energy and soul on our vacation dulling and poisoning myself with alcohol. I was able to experience every day fully, be present for my family, and actually FEEL GOOD every single morning, with no regrets.

Focus on the good.. there's so much of it! Getting through these "firsts" will make you stronger. Drinking with your dad is a routine that can be broken. You were able to do it when you were pregnant for the sake of your baby. You can do it now for the sake of YOU, your health, your strength, and the better more meaningul life you want and are creating. You are worth it! The wish for alcohol is a lie.

New routines can be made. Substitute a beautiful, or even fancy, non alcoholic drink and realize how much more engaged and real and present you are able to be with your dad.

Hang in there.. keep posting.. We understand and are here for you. You're doing great!!

90 days is within reach, and beyond. It'll just get better.

Hugs to you.

I really, really needed this post. You helped me today! I am facing a similar situation today. One day at a time and we don't need to drink today.

Hi Apple. On vacation in Florida? Wow! You're so lucky to have family there! It's unnerving how being out of our comfort zones can kick start that insidious AV isn't it? For me its the opposite. Being alone wakes mine up. Youre maming wonderful memoeies swwetheart and slowly being sober with your dad will become normal too. Does your dad know you about your decision?
Take care apple and enjoy your vacation!!!!!

Good on you for posting about this. I am sure it will help. Enjoy that vacation!

:scoregood

Thanks everyone! I have made it through almost the whole vacation. Each day, I struggle a bit at cocktail hour and then after dinner when everyone sits around and has more drinks. Tonight I really wished I could join. It was fun to laugh and tell stories, even without alcohol but if I'm being honest, I will say that I felt like it would be more fun if I was drinking with them.

However, I did not drink. And now, just a couple hours later, I am here, feeling so good and so grateful that I didn't have even one. I am going to watch the sunrise again tomorrow and if I was drinking there is no way I would get up early enough to enjoy it.

Thank you all again for your support!

you sound just like me. I'm so glad you didn't drink tonight!

Accountability is a huge tool in remaining sober.

Keep it up! We're here to help!

You're handling the situation perfectly Apple. You're breaking a difficult pattern of drinking at a certain time with your family on vacation. Your mind will at some point have to relearn to sit with your dad on vacation while not drinking. After awhile drinking will be removed from the equation and it will just be you enjoying your time. You're using your tools of recovery by logging in and talking it out.