SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Newcomers to Recovery (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/)
-   -   It has to stop! (Hi) (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/407247-has-stop-hi.html)

TheBollard 04-02-2017 01:31 PM

It has to stop! (Hi)
 
Hey guys. I'm new here and a little sceptical as to whether this will help, but like the thread title says - it (the drinking) needs to stop. My hope is that by engaging with this community, I can do something about my problem.

Alcohol isn’t adversely affecting my daily life, although sometimes I feel like I'm cutting it pretty close. During the week i drink pretty moderately, for the most part (but that being said I rarely have nights off). At weekends is when it gets stupid, though: I'm 33 so these days I don't tend to go out partying much, but I can easily sit at home on a Saturday and get through a bottle of Jack Daniels throughout the course of a day. I think I'm easily close to hitting 50 or maybe even 60 units a week with most of this being consumed over Friday-Sunday.

I know I'm functional as a human being right now but I feel as if I'm pretty close to the brink of something catastrophic and it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge. I think about drinking A LOT... Mostly the fact that it's a bad idea, but it still happens. I used to suffer from depression but I think I'm over that for the most part. I still struggle with anxiety a little, and I definitely use alcohol as a means of coping with that. Mostly, though, I think I drink because I live alone and I'm just bored.

What worries me is that, even if I am right about why I drink, I can't seem to stop. Apart from the booze I'm pretty good at looking after myself. I work out and I don't eat junk... I'm in pretty good shape (although my liver and pancreas probably disagree). My hope is that you kind folks can offer some support and maybe a welcome distraction from wanting to hit the bottle - At the moment every sip is tinged with regret, but I just can't stop, and I need to!

Anyway, that's me. Nice to meet you!

2ndhandrose 04-02-2017 01:54 PM

Hi TheBollard :grouphug: and welcome aboard!

You will find tons of support and help here on SR. I hope you have a good look around, much wisdom abounds here!

Anna 04-02-2017 01:55 PM

Welcome!

It's really scary when you know you need to stop drinking and yet you can't. But, you will find lots of support here. It's a good idea to come up with a plan that will work for you to help you through the early days and then to adjust to a sober life. This link will give you lots of information:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Aidos 04-02-2017 01:59 PM

A quick idea
 
Just try stopping for today. Then wake up tomorrow. If it worked today then it would tomorrow. Remember that sanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results.

TheBollard 04-02-2017 02:07 PM

Thanks! I expect I'll make good use of the chat room. I downloaded an audio book to listen to tonight and I'll probably try and get back in to making music as a means of keeping my brain occupied.

One of my biggest concerns is that drinking constitutes a massive aspect of my social life, and if there's one thing I definitely can't afford to be without it's friends. I don't know if it's possible just to reduce my drinking to a "moderate" level or if I have to stop outright!

Mattq2 04-02-2017 02:07 PM

Hey bollard my story is similar to you. My life at face value was pretty normal and I "functioned" everyday. I think what happens though is alcoholism is such a slow process. We are not fully aware of how it used to be before we were drinking heavily. Once I had a few weeks and then months sober I really started to realize how I was not doing much , if anything at my best.

As far as the forums goes I had never used a forum for anything. I had really almost given up on trying to gain sobriety. I failed so many times. I was researching rehab information when I found this site. I couldn't believe there were so many people out there like me. So many great and experienced people came to support me. All the information here helped me succeed at least this far.

Anyway I'm glad you found us. Hopefully it will work for you as well as it did for me.

TheBollard 04-02-2017 02:13 PM


Originally Posted by Mattq2 (Post 6393612)
I really started to realize how I was not doing much , if anything at my best.

This resonates with me. Even after a couple of days off (which I occasionally manage to achieve) I notice that I am way more effective at everything, from social engagement to being productive at work and getting out to do exercise.

Mattq2 04-02-2017 02:19 PM

That is what I noticed. now with several months sober I am still finding improvements in living day to day life.

I will warn you that I experimented with every kind of moderation known to man and failed miserably. The only thing that works for me is to accept that I can never drink again. Ever

least 04-02-2017 02:21 PM

Welcome to the family. :) I hope our support can help you get sober for good. :)

Misc72 04-02-2017 02:47 PM


Originally Posted by TheBollard (Post 6393610)
I'll probably try and get back in to making music as a means of keeping my brain occupied.


What kind of music do you make? Glad you are here.
Welcome aboard!

PhoenixJ 04-02-2017 04:38 PM

Welcome, support given

MarkTwain 04-02-2017 05:57 PM


Originally Posted by TheBollard (Post 6393543)
I think about drinking A LOT... Mostly the fact that it's a bad idea, but it still happens....
What worries me is that, even if I am right about why I drink, I can't seem to stop. ...At the moment every sip is tinged with regret, but I just can't stop, and I need to!

I know the feeling. You're reaching for that bottle knowing it's probably killing you, but you literally can't stop yourself from picking it up.

Once you've reached that point, it's unlikely any attempt to moderate will work (including distractions, or addressing the "Why?" of it all). Maybe, but I doubt it. Haven't seen it work yet for anyone at that stage.

So......what works? Bravely admit you can't control alcohol (believe me, there's no shame in that) and go find a group of people who've been on the same train you're on. Then park your ego at the depot door and do what they tell you to do.

Good luck and best wishes.

Hevyn 04-02-2017 06:06 PM

Great to meet you, Bollard. It really helps to share our thoughts here. You're never alone.

Zebra1275 04-02-2017 06:14 PM

Welcome to SR!

Alcohol isn’t adversely affecting my daily life

Yet.

Alcoholism is progressive and things will get worse with each passing year. The good news is that by joining this website you've taken a positive step in avoiding that. Keep coming back.

Alan6154 04-02-2017 06:32 PM

As someone who was a shot and a beer guy, I would go through a pint of JD and a 12 pack everyday. Not including the occasional pit stop at my favorite watering hole. So I understand "Old No. 7" and his seductive ways. If you are going through 60 units or roughly 3 fifths of whiskey every week your tolerance level should be telling you something, and it's not good news. You're not as bad as I got to be but I recommend you change something because it sneaks up on you. Those two or three drinks a night on weekdays for maintenance become 4 or 5, then 6 or 7, on and on. This all happens without noticeable changes because it develops so slowly over time. Then you find yourself in a lot of trouble like I did, where maintenance drinking throughout the week wasn't cutting it. It is a hard decision to commit to changing something so socially ingrained in our daily life (I'm paraphrasing that from a post made to me a few days ago to me) but here is a good place to start. There's a lot of people on this site with considerable sobriety that can point you in the right direction. I'm still new to sobriety (108 days) so I can remember vividly.
Best wishes.

Mklove 04-02-2017 06:34 PM


Originally Posted by TheBollard (Post 6393610)
Thanks! I expect I'll make good use of the chat room. I downloaded an audio book to listen to tonight and I'll probably try and get back in to making music as a means of keeping my brain occupied.

One of my biggest concerns is that drinking constitutes a massive aspect of my social life, and if there's one thing I definitely can't afford to be without it's friends. I don't know if it's possible just to reduce my drinking to a "moderate" level or if I have to stop outright!

That was my biggest hurdle, at first. Then everybody got used to me not drinking, I just don't. I like being in bars until I don't, I have little tolerance for loud places with drunken blather. Gets tired real quick. We even traveled to New Orleans and Nashville. My drinking was really done at home, once I broke that habit the rest fell in.

Dee74 04-02-2017 07:15 PM

Hi and welcome :)

The place helped me change my life....and I was very skeptical when I got here :)

I know we can help you too :)

I've lived alone and drank and now I've lived alone and been sober too - I was once immensely bored as a drinker and my life now is so full of things to do I never have enough hours in the day.

I know which way I prefer :)

D

PurpleKnight 04-03-2017 10:02 AM

Welcome to the Forum TheBollard!! :wave:

Ppy75 04-03-2017 10:09 AM

Your post really resonated with me. I've also not been negatively affected by alcohol other than waking up with headaches. But I feel like I'm on a train that is heading too fast in the wrong direction. What was 1 glass of wine a few nights a week 5 years ago, is now 2-5 glasses of wine every single night. I'm too new here (just joined the site and only stopped drinking on 4/1) to have any advice but I'm here to support you!

tomsteve 04-03-2017 10:36 AM

"Alcohol isn’t adversely affecting my daily life..."
this isnt an adversely affected part of daily living:
, ..."but I can easily sit at home on a Saturday and get through a bottle of Jack Daniels throughout the course of a day. I think I'm easily close to hitting 50 or maybe even 60 units a week with most of this being consumed over Friday-Sunday."
"I can't seem to stop"
"At the moment every sip is tinged with regret, but I just can't stop, and I need to! "
?????.??????

semms if alcohol wasnt affecting anything in daily life,then this
"I notice that I am way more effective at everything, from social engagement to being productive at work and getting out to exercise."

wouldnt occur.

maybe a wee bit of denial there on what alcohol is doing to and for you?


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:50 AM.