New guy, here's my story Hi all, thanks for having me, little bit about myself, I'm a boat mechanic, married 13 years, 10 year old daughter and 8 year old son, my wife is not a drinker, I've been a drinker for 20 plus years, never drink during the week but every weekend I do, especially in the summer, we have a lake house that we go to and there's always beers on the boat or at the cabin, most nights there's 10 to 20 neighbors in my back yard all having a good time, I regularly stay up till 4 or 5 am and get up a 8 or 9, I'm not one to lay around, I still get up and get things done, but do so in a bad mood usually, always feel guilty by Sunday and tell myself I'll stop but by Friday I have myself talked into doing it all over again... My son got into snowboarding last year and we went maybe 4 or 5 times only because it's a 2 hour drive one way and I don't feel like doing that hung over, well the hill opened on dec 17th this year and we were planning on going, went to a friends place for a few was supposed to be only a few, as usual my off button didn't work again that night and I don't even remember going home, I was so mad at myself, still drug my ass out of bed and went but felt like crap all day, I made a decision to stop that day, when we got to the hill I decided to buy a season pass for us even though I couldn't afford it at the time, put it on my credit card for $500 for the both of us as part of my plan to stop drinking and we have been going every weekend since then, I'm on day 48 right now, in the last 20 years 5 days is the longest I've gone, I've lost 22 pounds and feel the best I've felt in years, I'm not looking forward to summer, even tho I love the cabin and boating it will be hard, I just need to try and teach myself new things I guess, thanks for reading. |
Welcome. Maybe this summer, different plans. Ones that don't included the drinking-centric weekends. Next year, if still sober, you are more likely to manage the lake house. |
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
(Post 6318093)
Welcome. Maybe this summer, different plans. Ones that don't included the drinking-centric weekends. Next year, if still sober, you are more likely to manage the lake house. |
I think you're making good decisions that will support your recovery. |
Congratulations on your decision! |
That's a cool story. Nice work on 48 days! Great for you and your kids. Sounds like you have great resolve to keep on going. Just make a good solid, sensible plan for summer and you will be just fine. |
48 days is amazing! |
Inspirational! Thank you for sharing. |
Originally Posted by Sportdeck203
(Post 6318107)
I've thought of that, I'm not going to rob my kids of their summer tho, not fair to them, they are use to going there every weekend since they were born and it's a fun place to be for them, I know I can do it I just know it won't be easy, All my friends are supportive of my decision so that is helping, I will just change the type of stuff we do there, when I was a kid I was a very avid water skier and I plan to get back into that, there was lots of days last year that the kids asked to go tubing or wakeboarding and I said no because I had too much already or would rather sit and drink, so stupid now that I can see it with a clear head, everyday it gets clearer why I can never drink again, all that alcohol money will be turned into boat gas to have fun with and not pissed away. who's cabin? |
You are making a very good decision, and an honorable one for your kids. As others have mentioned, you might want to start game planning now on how you will navigate your summer getaways. I don't see staying up until 4AM with 30 of your closest friends being conducive to your sobriety. I'm sure they will understand, and you will wake up ready to tackle the day, instead of feeling like crap. |
Originally Posted by tomsteve
(Post 6318319)
you'll be amazed how much fun and how enjoyable a weekend at the cabin with the kids is while sober. who's cabin? |
Originally Posted by thomas11
(Post 6318329)
You are making a very good decision, and an honorable one for your kids. As others have mentioned, you might want to start game planning now on how you will navigate your summer getaways. I don't see staying up until 4AM with 30 of your closest friends being conducive to your sobriety. I'm sure they will understand, and you will wake up ready to tackle the day, instead of feeling like crap. |
And thanks for all the comments, I just found this site a few days ago and wasn't sure if I should post but it's nice to have a place to come and talk so thankyou. |
That's awesome Sportdeck! Welcome. |
Another thing to note is all the things I can afford to do now, I'm in Canada and it's expensive to drink here, 24 beer is $50, it can add up quick over a weekend, tonight I'm taking my wife out to dinner and then to a movie at the VIP theatre, something that I was way to "cheap" to do before, because that money was spoken for, normally on a Friday my first thought was where's the party and where are we drinking tonight, those thoughts are gone already, already got our snowboard gear ready for the morning and getting ready to head to dinner, sure feels good to be in control of my life again. |
That's a great attitude to have, Sportdeck. I hope you enjoy your night out. |
Good to have you with us, Sportdeck. I'm glad you've made the big decision to change your life. Congrats on your 48 sober days. I love how positive you sound. I drank almost 30 yrs. It had once been so much fun - but it turned into a nightmare of dependence & chaos. I, too, would have the intention of just having a few - but willpower never worked once for me. Then I started drinking to 'cure' my hangovers. This led to every day drinking in the end - with anxiety and misery through the roof. I'm so glad we don't live that way any more. |
So you are a boat mechanic in Canada....what do you do in the winter? Just curious. |
Spending more time doing things that matter with your kids is a great way to see the value of you sobriety like you I know regret all that time I pissed away but it makes me more determined to do better now. |
Originally Posted by thomas11
(Post 6318600)
So you are a boat mechanic in Canada....what do you do in the winter? Just curious. |
Sportdeck: You sound like you're going to be O.K. Awesome stamina, maturity (despite all that drinking). You sound like you're tough, persistent and it warms my heart just to think of you making it if you keep on doing just what you're doing right now. Eventually you may be able to level with your friends and say, "I've had health problems with alcohol and have decided that I just shouldn't drink". Some may disagree and try to rope you in to keep them company. Don't fall for it and don't let your AV persuade you otherwise. You're a sailor. Put yourself on a broad reach and may you have a fair wind and a smooth sail. Do keep posting. We're always here :c011: Bill |
the good thing is its your cabin, so you are allowed to say whether your friends bring alcohol or not. hopefully they will understand and see alcohol isnt necessary to have an enjoyable vacation. |
Welcome sportsdeck - congrats on your sober time :) D |
Great story, thanks for sharing! |
Update on my Friday night out, my best friend and his wife joined us, we went and seen the movie Split, now that guy's head was messed up, wow, great movie. After the movie we stopped at a bar to have some wings, they asked for the drink order and I said Pepsi and a water, told them all go ahead have a drink I'm driving anyway but they all got the same as me. After we were done eating we went to their house where all our kids were at and played cards till around 2 am, it was an awesome night, had a good visit and everyone had fun, 3 months ago we would have polished off 24 beer, a 40 of Rye and a couple bottles of wine In the same night and I wouldn't have remembered going home or the last few hours of the night, wife would have had to drive and I would have slept downstairs instead of having relations in my own bed when we got home. What a great night it was, my buddy probably drank as much as I did before and has hardly drank since I quit, I don't expect anyone to stop just because I have but he pretty much has, and we all agree that it feels pretty good to have a night out and not have shame or guilt the next day. And most importantly we can still have fun. |
Welcome Sportdeck! Sounds like you have made a great start and you have a lot of wonderful reasons to keep sober. Just remember, when you start thinking you have it beat, it will bite you in the behind. Stay at it! |
That's awesome! Happy you enjoyed your sober night out. Sounds like you have a good wife and friends on your side. |
Sportdeck - The realization that we can live again in a new & better way is so important. Even though I was miserable at the end of my drinking career, I was very afraid nothing would ever be fun again. I'm sure it's encouraging to know you can enjoy yourself sober. No hangover - what a bonus. |
Originally Posted by Sportdeck203
(Post 6320801)
Update on my Friday night out, my best friend and his wife joined us, we went and seen the movie Split, now that guy's head was messed up, wow, great movie. After the movie we stopped at a bar to have some wings, they asked for the drink order and I said Pepsi and a water, told them all go ahead have a drink I'm driving anyway but they all got the same as me. After we were done eating we went to their house where all our kids were at and played cards till around 2 am, it was an awesome night, had a good visit and everyone had fun, 3 months ago we would have polished off 24 beer, a 40 of Rye and a couple bottles of wine In the same night and I wouldn't have remembered going home or the last few hours of the night, wife would have had to drive and I would have slept downstairs instead of having relations in my own bed when we got home. What a great night it was, my buddy probably drank as much as I did before and has hardly drank since I quit, I don't expect anyone to stop just because I have but he pretty much has, and we all agree that it feels pretty good to have a night out and not have shame or guilt the next day. And most importantly we can still have fun. |
Congrats on your decision Sportdeck. Your family is very proud of you I know. With your attitude and desire to live a sober life, you will be fine, I am sure. A few days cruising around this site has probably made you realize that you and us are not all that much different. Maybe the highway we took is different, but we all ended up here. Looking for help, someone to talk to that truly understands. Lots of us here. I am 39 months into my sobriety. I was almost 60 when I quit. I will be 63 in a couple of weeks. I was a binge drinker for 45 years. My stop button broke decades ago. I always thought I had a problem, but I was functioning with career, family friends. Drinking was what we did. Not just me, but our circle. When I had an honest discussion with my Dr. after a red flag liver test, I broke down with the realization that this drinking would kill me. I quit drinking that day. I came to SR after a couple of weeks crying and whining to myself that I had lost my best friend. A wise old drunk tuned me up pretty good. He told me that there is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic. It is just a stage where I was. Eventually it will get worse and you will die. He also said I had a disease called the "Yets". I hadn't lost my job, yet. I hadn't lost my wife, yet. I hadn't killed someone with my car, yet. My 3 kids hadn't given up on me. yet. He also told me one more thing. Get a plan. A plan to deal with the Christmas party coming up. A plan to take a different way home, Not past your tavern. A plan to lose your drinking buddies and reconnect with your true friends. A plan to get your finances in order. A plan to get your body healthy. Get a plan, work your plan. It stuck with me. I also have rec. property. This was my perfect spot to drink to excess. I would make up a reason why I had to go down on Thursday morning by myself. They I would have all day to drink 24 beer without interruption from the one that loves me the most. Anyway, we all have our stories and I am so happy to hear yours. I wish you well and look forward to watching your recovery blossom. It will be so worth it to you and yours. Read, and post often. Lots of wise people here that have been where you are now. Rick |
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