When enough?
 

What convinced you that it is enough? You might realise you are consuming too much, but we all know its not possible to quit before you are really committed. When does 'normal' consumption become abuse/addiction?

I witnessed a horrible car crash caused by a drunk driver, I was one of the first at the scene. My hands were shaking when I drove off after my help was no longer needed. Luckily as far as I know nobody died.

I think that's something we each need to decide on our own. I think we know when we need to stop, even though we may not be ready to stop.

I'm glad that no one died in the traffic accident you witnessed. It must have been scary.

I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got to a point I was negative self-talking, hating myself, running myself down because of my drinking. I was miserable so I realized I could not continue drinking.

ended up in hospital from withdrawals.
had a subsequent breakdown the weeks after.

**** ever going through that again

Yea the nervous breakdowns are a bother.

When does 'normal' consumption become abuse/addiction?

Well, I've done a lot of research on this, and by research I mean drinking, and only you can decide what that point is.

An alcoholics body has an allergy to alcohol, meaning we react different than normies to alcohol, it sets off an obsession of the mind and we can't stop drinking. A normal response to getting buzzed or drunk is to stop, an alcoholics is to consume more. If you can drink one or two and stop, that's normal If you can't stop that's addiction. I can't stop, to have just one seems foreign to me, why in the world would you do that? Why even bother? That's not normal thinking.

If drinking is causing problems, best to quit drinking, no matter how much or how often you drink. :)

This was me.

But I was sick and tired of being sick and tired for many, many, many years before I quit. I drank everyday for 27 years and I feared quitting - I didn't know how to cope without alcohol.

I finally reached a point last October that the booze was not working for me anymore - I had to quit or just stay drunk 24/7 until I lost everything including my mind.

Luckily I chose to quit drinking.

I just realized after many failed attempts to stop, I couldn't. I just woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and realized, ****, I have a real problem. Many years preceded this of telling myself I should stop, or maybe I have a problem, etc.

But it's the best decision I ever made in my life. Not easy though

This is often repeated, but it is simply not true. It is just the addiction talking, kicking the can down the road. If it can't prevent you from quitting, it will try to delay quitting for as long as possible.

"Don't quit drinking, not just yet, maybe if things get really bad" it whispers, "and you're not as bad as that drunk driver," it adds, right?

If you can't picture life without alcohol, then you are dependent on it, which is not necessarily bad per se, if it does not negatively interfere with life.

If you drink against your own better judgement, however, at times when you know, or suspect, that you should not be drinking, then you are probably addicted. The same is true if you keep drinking in spite of negative consequences, or if you keep looking for ways to keep drinking without getting into more trouble.

Dependence may cause big problems eventually, but addiction certainly will cause big problems. It is just a matter of when, not if.

This seemingly simple question is quite difficult to answer.
I've attempted suicide four times as a direct result of the turmoil I was in over the misery of continued failure to drink responsibly.
Quit,
Feel better,
AV says 'it's not all that bad,
Drink.
Repeat.
I think everybody's rock bottom is their own. Whatever point is reached before the recovery to continued sobriety. Or, ultimately, death.
My rock bottom happened some time between Christmas day and new year's, when I finally made my Big Plan. (See my signature).
Total and unquestioning acceptance that as an alcoholic, I can NEVER, EVER drink again.

Many people think of hitting bottom as an event...

it can be a simple decision 'I do not want to live this way anymore'

D

What convinced me was that I kept having the same thoughts periodically ... "I think I'm probably drinking too much, I might be addicted, someday I might have to quit". But "someday" never seemed to arrive ... I didn't feel like quittting.

Then I somehow realized that "someday" was never going to just arrive ... nothing changes in addiction, it just goes on. I was going to have to just decide that it was time. I committed myself to change despite the fact that I didn't "feel committed".

Another way of thinking of it was that I was of two minds ... part of me wanted to quit, and part of me wanted to drink. I decided to side with the part that wanted to quit, rather than waiting for both parts to agree ... because they never would.

I fell down a flight of stairs on Christmas Eve. I wasn't even drunk (just 5 or six drinks in me), just so hung over I could barely stand. Broke my leg in many places. Afterwards because I couldn't walk I was unable to get my fix. Went into withdrawal.

I had meant for many years to stop. That did it for me.

Wow...Wow....I just keep reading this post and the others in this thread over and over again and it's so profound...this merry go round of drinking...then doing reckless things then waking up being hungover...then feeling shame and remorse and telling myself my spouse my kids ....never again....then maybe a couple of days go by and doing it all over again....even I get sick of hearing myself say sorry!!!!

In line with what Dee is saying -there were "bottom" like factors that got my attention. But, I definitely had more drinking and further loss left in me if I chose that route. What happened for me though felt like me telling myself "Wow. This really is just Ridiculous!" -then I stopped lying to myself. -then I got straight.

Damn!! You ALWAYS bring it! Great post!! :You_Rock_

I spent three years alternating between periods of sobriety, followed by failed attempts at moderation. I finally got sick of waking up foggy, and spending my evenings starting out moderating, and then saying screw it. My body was both physically and emotionally exhausted.

I decided December 31, 2015 as I was drinking that I was done. I woke up the next day with a hangover, and determination, and haven't had a sip of alcohol since. Life still throws curve balls, but they are so much easier to deal with sober.

You can do this, and you do not need to wait for a proverbial rock bottom. Tell yourself this is enough, and take alcohol off the table.

I started feeling so physically bad that I kinda slipped into it, I think. Early 2016. I didn't even start out to get sober; I just felt so bad that I didn't even want to go buy beer. Imagine that!

Also I'd had some bad liver test numbers that scared me, and my big old fat stomach at the time I thought was ascites.

It is worth remembering that hitting a 'rock bottom' is no guarantee that you have finally seen the light and are ready to quit. Many (many) people die from this.

With hindsight,I wish that I knew what I was in for,with early wirhdrawal.Should have came to SR and asked for advice and links etc,at the start.I found you all a few weeks along and was reassured that what I was experiencing was how withdrawal can be.For me it was intense anxiety and blinding headaches.I am 8 months sober now and although I get depressed,Its just part of recovery plus adjusting.

Laser insight. I would have thought one drink to be a cruel joke.

I finally accepted that it was keep drinking and die, or stop and see what happens - living. I didn't have a clue at the time what would come once I was sober, but I knew that I was DONE drinking. DONE.

Best decision I ever made. I wouldn't trade my worst day sober for any day drinking.

Hey pikledboodah, I don't know if it's about what you wrote here or how you wrote it, but it made me cry. Its ok to cry, I think you might like to know I needed it. thanks

When is enough enough? That really varies from person to person. There's no need to get to a point where you have lost everything. I hadn't lost everything when I decided enough was enough, But I could see it all starting to slip away. What I HAD lost was my last shred of self-esteem, and the respect and trust of a lot of people. That was enough for me. I simply could not go through one more day waking up and wondering if there was any point of being alive. I wasn't actively suicidal, but I often wished the earth would just swallow me up so I could stop existing. I was probably on the road to drinking myself to death, one way or the other.

Now, sober over two years, I am feeling like there's so much to live for, and I don't hate myself anymore. A lot of hard work has gone into this, and there's more work to do. I'm 53, and finally, for the first time in my adult life, I can look myself in the eye in the mirror without feeling sad, disgusted, and hopeless.

Hi Jasmin -I think pinpointing the moment when you are really committed is tricky. I have been 110% committed to quitting so many times I lost count, but still all attempts failed.

Now, on the other hand, I started recovery unsure if it was going to work, but this time I built a plan, have been following it and I can see a clear difference, I d almost say that now, 5 ish months later, I know I'm really committed (😄).

So I ll agree with the crowd that says you don't really need a reason to start recovery, you just have to start it. When sober life starts kicking in there ll be tones of positive reasons to back your decision.

P

When I realized that I was killing myself and I didn't want to die.

Thanks everyone!
Part of me is still in denial, I haven't had this problem for very long, only about half a year, but during this time there has been very few sober days. I have tried to buy smaller bottles, to keep the amounts somewhat low. I have been very secretive about my drinking. I recently moved and I found a bottle in my socks drawer that I had forgotten about. Party because of my young age hangovers have not been very rough on me, the next day I can pretend to be pretty much normal. Being active helps. Though bad abdominal cramping I do have :( I talked couple days ago to my friend about it, its an embarrassing thing to talk about. I made her a promise 1 week no drinking to start with. On day 2 now, I just want something. I know very well what is it. I drink loads of water and tea, but thats not helping. I walk around kitchen and look what would I like to have, more foood, but still have the cravings.
You might think what does this 1 week help, I might be in denial, but I'm hoping I can still have 'friendly' relationship with alcohol.

There is much to be learned in the struggle to quit drinking. A week is short, but if you succeed, great. If you use that week to say, "Hey, you quit drinking for a week. You don't have a problem," then drink, well, that isn't so great.

I was drinking and blacking out.
My wife had enough of my drunkenness.
And once again I was looking the judge in the eye.
I admitted defeat.
M-Bob