SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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SoALover 01-12-2017 07:29 AM

Hi guys
 
I'm assuming that this is where I make my first post. I'm a functional alcoholic who is spiraling fast. I've known deep down for awhile but I kept making jokes about it, plus justifying it because I never drive when I drink.

It just stopped being funny lately and I'm tired of it. Tired of needing alcohol every single night, tired of feeling awful all day because I drank the night before. Tired of looking like a zombie all the time, of not living up to my full potential, and definitely tired of that drinking fog all the time.

The worst part though, is that I have 3 really amazing kids and they deserve better than this. I'm very loving to them and never neglect or abuse them but what if something happened one night ? I couldn't even drive.

And it just isn't a good example for them. It's also really taking a toll on my health. So, here I am. This may sound like a small thing, but I didn't drink at all last night :)

For me, that is a huge deal ! It is really awesome making up sober for the first time in a very, very long time :)

Sorry that I rambled on so long, lol.

ardy 01-12-2017 07:36 AM

SoAlover.. kiddo you never will ramble to long here. for the road is long deep and wide and dark for most of us.. stay with us. when you think you need a drink get on this board and wander thro the threads of lives this has harmed so much.. by the time you are done you will not want to drink.. just take a nap and be a better parent for your kids. promise.. cross my heart .. hugs and prayers for a better tomorrow..

kel08 01-12-2017 07:38 AM

that's so good you didn't drink! we have similar stories being mothers depending on the wine at night, and recognizing we need to do this for our kids,because they don't deserve this. I have 2 myself and like you convinced myself in any way I could that I wasn't as bad as (...) because I didn't (......),But the reality is we drink too much and my kids if they ever needed me to get them to a hospital or anything, no matter how functioning and loving I might be, I couldn't get them to hospital and possibly endanger them. Its such a gut wrenching feeling when you realise this is the brutal truth, the guilt and shame is sickening. I'm glad youre here and today you didn't drink, that's one day down, I'm so happy to see you here and also making the right choice and going the right way. And I fully believe you wont drink today either!

Pinky1 01-12-2017 07:40 AM

Well done on not drinking. It's a huge deal. I'm back to day 1.......again
We need to beat this. Join the January class. I intend to post regularly for more support
Another sober night tonight

SoALover 01-12-2017 07:48 AM

Thank you so much for the welcome & support, guys :) I will definitely be sticking around

columbus 01-12-2017 07:49 AM

"This may sound like a small thing, but I didn't drink at all last night"

That's freakin' HUGE!

SoALover 01-12-2017 07:50 AM

Thank you, Columbus ! It is definitely something I'm proud of :)

Dee74 01-12-2017 01:29 PM

Welcome to SR SoALover :)

D

Anna 01-12-2017 01:32 PM

Welcome, I'm glad you found us.

K66 01-12-2017 01:36 PM

[QUOTE=columbus;6287563]"This may sound like a small thing, but I didn't drink at all last night"

That's freakin' HUGE!

I couldn't agree more that ha freakin' HUGE! High five! 🖐🏻👍🏼

Hevyn 01-12-2017 03:01 PM

Good to meet you, SoALover. :) Proud of you for not drinking last night. It is wonderful to wake up with a clear head & not wonder what we might have said or done the previous night. I'm glad you've decided to take this big step towards getting free.

Mick75 01-12-2017 03:07 PM

Welcome and glad your here, one day at a time. You took the 1st step. Keep posting, trust me it helps.

SoALover 01-12-2017 03:10 PM

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and warm welcome, everyone !

I have to admit, tonight so far, has been more of a struggle than last night. I was just out and wanted nothing more than to walk into a store near where I just was and grab a bottle of wine or a 6 pack.

But I'm very happy to say that I didn't do it, so tonight is another sober night for me :)

I feel like my body is begging me for alcohol tonight, I've been on the verge of a migraine all day and it has been s super stressful day. I feel like my brain is saying, hey...it's evening, where's the wine ?

I think joining here was an important step because I feel a sense of accountability now, and you have all been so kind and that helps a lot. It's really nice having the support of people who get this.

Hevyn 01-12-2017 03:15 PM

I felt the same way in the early days - it all settled down. Great that you didn't give in - it gets much easier.

SoALover 01-12-2017 03:33 PM


Originally Posted by Hevyn (Post 6288112)
I felt the same way in the early days - it all settled down. Great that you didn't give in - it gets much easier.

That is definitely good to know, thank you ! :)

biminiblue 01-12-2017 04:07 PM

Yeah, hang on, SoAL. You've made the decision, it will be a bit uncomfortable for a few days.

Stick to it. Go to bed sober tonight. You'll never regret NOT drinking.

Unwound 01-12-2017 04:30 PM

Welcome to SR ! You've already done the hard bit and stopped, if you made it through one day you can make it through another. Just keep going and ramble all you want!

least 01-12-2017 04:37 PM

Welcome to the family. :) I got sober seven years ago and don't regret a minute of it. I love waking up feeling good. :)

site1Q84 01-12-2017 04:46 PM

Welcome!!

Glad to hear you're beating your cravings. Boy, they can be rough sometimes! I feel like everytime I work through them I get a little bit stronger though.

Here is a link to the thread Pinky mentioned:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

The whole group is people who have decided to quit drinking this month, so everyone is around the same stage in their recovery. Come hang out with us! We're very friendly, I promise!

PurpleKnight 01-14-2017 10:38 AM

Welcome to the Forum SoALover!! :wave:


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