It really does get better weekender 13-15 jan
 

This week's opening post is excellent!

I'm not turning into an egomaniac, there are enough of those appearing on media outlets as it is. No this week's OP is by our fellow Weekender Venecia who, as always, is extremely insightful.

She writes:-

Getting sober is hard work. For anyone on the journey, especially early on, it can feel like a punishing course in which the fabled boulder must be continuously pushed up a hill. One often accompanied by the fear it will all come tumbling down forcing the process to restart.

What's easy to forget is how much harder our lives were (or are) in active alcoholism and addiction.

How much did we miss because we were too drunk or too high to participate in life? How many days were spent just waiting for it to be over - the headache, the rotten gut, the fog - yet knowing it would all start over again, sooner rather than later? The endless cycle. The continual loss of self respect.

How many other checked boxes of alcoholism and addiction have been successfully added? Poorer health? Check. Distanced from family? Check. Job threatened or lost? Check. Divorce or a loss of a relationship? Check. Legal problems, financial woes, diminished mental sharpness, lost figure, blackouts, brownouts, violence?
Checkcheckcheckcheckcheckcheckcheckcheck.

That's not living.

It gets better. Yes the road can be rocky from time to time, but in a life of sobriety and recovery, one truth is guaranteed: the hardest parts are behind you

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Thank you for that Venecia :thanks

Whilst they are her words, any spelling or punctuation mistakes are 100% mine

Thanks Sao - and Venecia :)

D

Thannks sao and Venecia for the thread/intro. It is so right. My life is infinitely harder when im drinking. Sure, there are highs and lows to sobriety, but nothing compared to that constant depression, panic and exhaustion of active drinking.

Im in for the sober weekend! Another opportunity to carry on with my flat decorations :)

I'm in. Beautiful opening Ven and Sao.

Thanks saou and ven.
I'm here in my window seat on the weekenders bus xx

Brilliant intro, Sao and Venecia!

I am in!

And to all the newcomvers - It does get better. It really does!

No one calling shotgun?

Nice postttt :) In for the climb! (And, sober weekend)

I think STDragon went to bed Sao :)

D

May I take shotgun then?

Count me in weekenders!

Great OP Sao and Ven - thank you!!!

You got it MidnightBlue

Venecia's OP was a timely reminder of just how hard day to day existence is when drinking or drugging, life really does pass us by.

Just looking at the screens here at work it seems or overly excitable media folk are in a frenzy over the posibility of a few centimetres or inches of snow.

Wales I notice has an amber snow alert. I think Frank Zappa warned us all about that a while back

I think you hit the mark, Sao!!
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, getting sober. But as my sober time builds, I realize just how hard it was to actually stay in active addiction. The secrets, lies, the denial. Just the effort it took to get through each day.
I am eternally grateful to those that reached for me when I was farthest down that black hole. And I am so grateful for my sober life now!

Thank you for hosting the Weekender!!
I am in!!!
:hug:

Great opening. As hard as life gets now it is nothing compared to trying to survive in active addiction. Endless struggle to get alcohol, hide alcohol and try to recover from consuming said alcohol. Rinse and repeat.

I've been white-knuckling during the week and drinking on the weekends for a while now, this will be my first weekend sober. I'm working on a plan for how I will spend my time including the extra holiday Monday.

Saturday I have a memorial service to attend for a dear friend of 25 years. There will be alcohol served however I will not drink. He was my biggest advocate as far as my drinking was concerned. He knew my mother in her active addiction and during her recovery and was so concerned that I was heading down a similar path. He would be so happy that I am taking steps to beat this thing.

Everything is better sober. There is not a single thing that was better when I was drinking. Mind, heart, body or soul.

Thanks Sao and Venecia! Excellent opening post!

I am in.

I've often wished I had a Sober Superpower where I could give newcomers the gift of seeing life down the road. After the hardest part has passed. To experience what their bodies, minds, and outlook on life feels like. I can't even imagine how many people would fight that much harder if they had the ability to see. All the hard work is so worth it.

Today I am grateful for the opening post. It reminds me that I no longer have to live a life where I am waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Because it was never a matter of "if" it was always just a matter of "when".

Have a great sober weekend everyone!

I'm in!
Great opening Sao and Venecia! It is truly incredible how much better life gets after putting the plug in the jug. It's almost like miracles happen, once we get out of the way and let them. My life is so much better.

Excellent OP, you two, and a great reminder that things really do get better.

It does feel like a struggle for a while. Having to learn to live sober when so much of our lives were spent pursuing that next drunk or high - obsessing over when we could drink or use, and then regretting it. Trying to fight through hangovers. Having to lie about our use. Lying about where we were and what we were doing. We feared that we would not have any friends sober, no more social life, no more fun. But did we really have those things when drinking? I know I didn't. I had drinking buddies, my social life WAS drinking, and it wasn't much fun 99% of the time at the end. Just a daily slog through life, with no end in sight.

In sobriety, we find we still have a life - one very much worth living. We find new friends, or make real connections with the few that stick around after we choose sobriety. We have a different sort of social life, one that doesn't center around the boring life of sitting around and drinking. We learn to smile and have real fun again.

It really does get better. As LB said, I wish I could show those still struggling with addiction just how much better their lives can and will be if they put down the alcohol and/or drugs. When I first got sober and started going to AA, I saw evidence every day at meetings that a fulfilling life without booze was not only possible, but that I could have it if I wanted it. All around me were people who had found renewed purpose and had the most beautiful, warm smiles on their faces. I wanted that. I'm getting there. It just keeps getting better.

Thank you Sao and Venecia for the OP. Thank you Marty for that really wonderful comment.

The further I get in sobriety I forget the pain of day to day living with active drinking. I need to be reminded that it really wasn't fun. I didn't have a social life either. It was me and the bottle and if I was interrupted, I was ungracious and mean. My life is in no way near perfect but it is better.

Keep trying if you haven't quite gotten it. You can stop and stay stopped.