Day 2...again
 

Hello,

I am new to SR ; although, I have look on the forums before having the nerve to join.
I am 38 years old. I am a wife and mother of two great kids. I am an alcoholic. Most people do not know I have a problem. I had become good at hiding any drinking other than social gatherings or wine at home in the evening.
I am just sick of feeling horrible all the time...physically and emotionally. The guilt and feeling like a constant liar is killing me. I never feel like cleaning or spending quality time with my kids when I am hungover. I'm sure people wonder why I seem different or have gained weight over the years. I don't know.
I have tried meetings in the past. I may go back. Yesterday was a long day. Today was a bit better. I just feel tired.

I am 39 mother of three going through the same feelings second whole day sober. Hardly anyone knows I have s problem only two ex boyfriends and I tried aa and didn't like being in groups of strangers so feels like there's not many other options apart from willpower and self education

Elf and Oph- hello and welcome. The sense of trying to get better/sober, nothing works is a common one. I know. I had a sense of futility- that it did not matter. All I can write is for me- stuff did get better. Making an effort was hard- very hard. You both have family- and an awareness of alcohol being a problem. Do something about it- 'what have you got to lose?', well everything. I lost everything but still persist.
AA meetings are like any support network- they have good stuff and things some will not find so useful. There is SMART, therapists, SR. A part of the alcoholic parody is isolating. There is support- lots of info at SR. Dee has put out very useful stuff about having a plan, Take some time to read around the threads. There is a ladies only thread as well. Well done on posting. Keep sharing and reading. My support and prayers to you both (and your families). PJ

Welcome to SR Elove and Ophelia. I found myself in the same place as both of you a year ago. I had been struggling to stop drinking for s few years, and I kept alternating between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderating.

I woke up just about every morning feeling fuzzy headed, and thought I'm not drinking tonight, only to find myself opening a bottle of wine as soon as I walked in the door from work. I would have a glass of wine as I cooked dinner, and helped kids with homework, and would continue drinking throughout the evening. I stopped exercising, and was not nearly as present with my kids, husband, or job as I should have been.

I finally reached a point last NYE when I was done. I woke up on January 1st and started one day at a time. SR was my biggest support, especially the January monthly class, and the 24 hour recovery thread. I read lots on here, and several great recovery books. I stated learning more about mindfulness. The first few weeks I planned out every moment of the time when I would normally have wine, gradually it got easier.

Since quitting I have lost weight, have more energy, and even when I have bad days, handling them sober is so much better.

I'm glad you are both here, you can do this!!

Welcome to the Forum Ellove!! :wave:

Welcome Ellove and I'm glad you decided to post. I also hid my drinking and never drank in public, only at home alone. It truly wears you down. It's a good idea to have a plan for how you will stop drinking. If you take a look around here, you will find lots of ideas and thoughts on recovery.

Thanks for your input everyone!!! I have not ruled out AA and I am seeing a therapist next week.

Welcome Ellove and Ophelia! I really do think reading the posts here and contributing as well can be beneficial to your recovery as well as a wealth of information.

Welcome to the family. :) I know the support here can help you get sober for good. It's certainly helped me. :)

Purchase the book "Under the Influence " on line .......and come here everyday. I am also a mother of two girls in their early twenties now but, they are both very happy I stopped drinking I've told them about this forum and how it has helped me.

Welcome Ellove