Feeling hopeless
 

I want to stop drinking everyday. I am tired all the time, depressed, anxious and completely unmotivated to do anything:( I only drink at night because I am so bored with my life. Kids are grown and don't need me anymore, makes me sad. I feel I have no purpose in life. Please help.

I hear you. Almost all of us here at SR have been thru what you're going thru. We're here for you. Can you make it thru any amount of time without drinking?

Hi NeedABetterLife good job posting & getting it off your chest we understand esp tough days and if you want motivating there's a bunch of us at all different ages working out

Stick close to SR & keep posting it makes all the difference

Yes, I work nights so I am AF on those nights (2 nights a week)

I think that's what you tell yourself...I'm bored with my life, so I drink. If that were the case, fixing the boredom would fix the drinking.

But you've been struggling for years to quit. If you can't quit, it's much more serious than boredom. It's probably, at the least, alcohol dependency, and at worst, alcoholism. Regardless, there are ways to get and stay sober, it's just going to be a little more difficult that relieving your boredom.

Wishing you success!

Are you at the point where you've asked for help?

I am asking for help now

Good job Nabl I think this link from Dee74 is excellent in helping to structure a solid sobriety plan

Have you considered meetings too they really helped me there are also online topic meetings here at SR on Tuesdays & Fridays if your not up to f2f contact in fact it's a great way to meet others like us you don't have to do it alone & SR is open 24h a day which is pretty incredible there's always someone here so stick around & I hope to speak soon

keep posting my friend

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Those are hard words. Good for you. Stick around, join the December class. There is a lot of support here. Hugs.

Thing is, we do want to help, but basically all people can do is say what worked for us and others we know, and make suggestions. You would need to find the willingness to try some of the suggestions, or at least to try doing things differently to how you're doing them at the moment. If it was as simple as just stopping then you'd have done it by now. You know, our problems aren't what make us drink. What makes us drink is the delusion that alcohol will solve the problems. But actually there isn't a problem in the world that alcohol doesn't make worse given time.

Dee's thread has some great information / links to help you make your own plan of recovery, so could be a good place to start. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

It sounds like you have excessive time on your hands and you're a bit lonely (possibly isolated). You already know that there are people you could meet up with for support and fellowship local to you. Last time that AA route was not one you were willing to try. Is it something you might consider now? If you go a couple of times to see what its like you would be under no obligation to carry on going if you didn't get on with it.

Also, when finding ways to get out of the house, meet others and feel useful, maybe you could think about the ways you most enjoyed helping your own children over the years and investigate whether there are some volunteering opportunities locally where you could use those skills. Everyone's a winner when we volunteer. It keeps us occupied, helps us to stave off self-pity, and helps us to realise that we can make a difference in a good way. It gives a gift of hope and fellowship, both to the people you're helping, and also to ourself.

Perhaps you could investigate clubs and societies in your area and find one or two to try out. Not just think about it, but DO it. Phone the numbers on the posters, turn up, give it a go.

One thing is for certain. If nothing changes, nothing changes. And there is only one person who can be instrumental in effecting that change. That is ourself. Sometimes we have to get really really uncomfortable where we are to find the willingness to make those changes. Are you uncomfortable enough yet? I hope so.

Whatever you decide, keep reading and posting. This community has been a real sobriety - saver for me and plenty of others. I wish you all the best for your sobriety, and in reclaiming your life through taking action in recovery. BB

Before my alcoholism became full blown, I look back and wonder what I could have done to stop it before it reached the level it did. One main thing is that I wish I had seen a trained therapist who understands addiction.
I also think a good therapist in general would have helped, as I had many bad habits I wasn't aware I had, personal philosophies I was following which were damaging, and a general lack of guidance (which I still need).
Are you involved in any organizations such as church or volunteer groups? Just being around other people can help a lot with loneliness and boredom.

There are a lot of different routes to recovery. Some people like me find strength in AA. Some folks use Rational Recovery, some ppl use other means of finding help, but the point is a person needs to reach out for the help and that means acting on it, not just thinking about acting on it. You can do it. Maybe it feels like it's too much, but it's not. It can be done. Almost all of us here can bear witness to that.

Hi needabetterlife, I see you joined in 2013 so this has been an issue for awhile, correct? To what lengths are you willing to go to get and stay sober?

welcome back needabetterlife :)

If you're not sure what to do next, or what you're prepared to do next, why not read around a little, posts as much as you like, see what others are doing and ask as many questions as you like :)

Check out the December support thread. Its for everyone quitting this month. All you have to do to join is post in it :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...thread-14.html

D

Hot diggity dog! You are just the person we've been looking for!

We need help at the animal rescue shelter.
We need help at the retirement home.
We need help with the disabled veterans.
We need help at the domestic violence center.
We need help at the soup kitchen.
We need help at the environmental league.
We need help at the Salvation Army.
We need help with the fund raising drive.

When can you start?