Tried Moderation, Didn't work...
 

Hi, I'm a new Comer to the forum. I figured this is at least one step toward being completely sober. I have done well with moderation until last night. My drinking may cost me a two year relationship. My drinking problem has spiked this past year. There are a lot of outside sources that make this relationship hard to manage. But, I do want to make it work. I work all day and don't know if he will be here when I get home...The only way for me to have any control is to stop drinking completely, and find other methods of coping with stress. Any suggestions are very welcome! Thanks!

Welcome.

After years of failures at moderation, I've discovered that sobriety works GREAT!!!

:)

You can do it.

Welcome Jshepherd. After many years of trying, I found moderation doesn't work for me either. Only by finally admitting to myself that I will never drink again was I able to stop obsessing about alcohol. I am still in early days but my life is already better. Why not join the December class? To join just start posting there. You will be with people at the same stage as you. I found that really helpful.

Thank you!
 

Thanks for the support, it's so refreshing to know I'm not alone.

No, never alone.

Definitely Checking this out!
 

Thank you so much for this information! I'll be checking into this now!

Moderation is exhausting and it didn't work all the time.

I think I fooled myself with the times it did work.

Eventually I had to drink just to get through the day. That's where it ends up.


I hope you make it to bed sober tonight. I have never woken in the morning and thought, "I wish I had drank last night." I do wake every morning now with no anxiety and grateful for being sober.

Welcome, J. Many of us tried and failed to moderate. For me, quitting altogether was the only way. Peace.

Moderation only works if you are the type of person than doesn't care about drinking. This is a type of person that doesn't do things or go places that involve drinking. This type of person will drink one beer on a Friday night once every 3 months or have a few drinks once a year on New Years Eve.

For a person like me moderation never worked. I would rather have no beers than have one beer. During my 27 years of daily drinking I tried to moderate. On the rare few days I didn't drink I would drink twice as much the next day.

I figured I can only be a daily drinker that gets drunk everyday or a person that doesn't drink at all and for the last 47 days I have chosen the later.

Jshep,

Alcohol is magnafying all the stress in your life.

Drinking for addicts, like you and me, is a maintenance function. We call it other names...celebration, mourning, relaxing, watching football, Friday night, friend visit...etc etc...

Really, we need the booze to feel happy. It is part of the brain damage alcohol causes.

Staying sober is an analysis process. Drinking is an emotional process.

It takes a long time to begin to find joy in life with out booze. That is why folks relapse over and over in the beginning.

In the end we must remember alcohol addiction is for life.

I am 19 months sober and I crave daily.

When I go to bed each night and wake up sober...I am winning.

I made the decision..to never ever drink again. Close the door on booze.

You can't spell intoxicated w out toxic. Booze is a Govt approved toxin that quells and weakens the masses. The government makes money off it from cradle to grave.

Thanks.

Welcome Jshepherd & please know that you are definitely not alone!
Joining the Dec. class is a great way to connect with others at the same point in this journey called Sobriety.

I failed at being moderately sober, as well. For me, sobriety is all or nothing. When I tried being sober just sometimes, my body kept telling me to I needed to be sober more. And then more. Until finally I succumbed to sobriety and now I'm sober all the time. And it rocks!

I think most of us here have tried moderation and failed miserably. I'm glad you recognize that stopping is necessary. My advice would be to come up with a plan that will work for you. This link might be helpful to you:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

True, but I am not anti-alcohol.

Anything legal that is done in moderation is fine. The question is what is true moderation? If someone drinks once a year and goes out driving and kills someone isn't that just as bad as a daily drinker doing the same thing?

Everything that is abused is a problem.

The government is making money off of many other things that can be life threatening as well if abused.

"Booze is a Govt approved toxin that quells and weakens the masses. The government makes money off it from cradle to grave." -D122y

I had to laugh at this because I knew people who used to say the same thing about the Grateful Dead. And television. I suppose we could say the same about the internet..:dee

Welcome to SR. I found moderation to be entirely too much work. Even more work than being a drunk. It is hard to get and stay sober, but once you do, I think many will agree that it simplifies many things in your life.

This is a rather common expression, "Moderation did not work". I used to follow a moderation group, that also had an abs side. I think moderation works for some heavy drinkers. What I did find from my observations and personal experience is that abstinence is a lot easier. It seemed the moderation thing was a lot of work trying to always keep within the boundaries and the occasional or oftentimes running into the ditch. Glad you know now and hang in there.

Hi,
I have been trying to 'manage' my drinking for the oast three years after being sober for 7 months. I lost a 2 year relationship to booze as well, and at that point it was my lowest point. Little did I know that it would only get worse. I find with alcoholism that history tends to repeat itself and it's good to be aware of this. I'm on day 2 right now, took my current gf of 2 1/2 yrs to my meeting last night, and that really showed her a different perspective on the whole disease.

Do you go to meetings? Maybe try bringing him along to an open one?

Like I said, I've only been sober two days but I know that its hard for any significant other to believe or trust you when you're drinking. If you want them to stay you have to show them! Leave the booze behind! You will be better for it.

K

This really nails it, perfectly put.

My life improved when I stopped trying to keep the thing that made me insane, in my life.

Welcome to SR :)

D