Hello 😊
 

I was never sure that I was an alcoholic, because I did not need to drink, could be around alcohol and not and also not drink at all for long periods of time. What I did do however was binge drink for one night every second weekend and make myself seriously ill the next day. This started when I was 23, I am now going on 38, that's a long time. Probably by about 28 I started having blackouts on those party nights out, this didn't stop me and the hangovers got worse, I would throw up for 8-10 hours after a night of drinking. I'd say in the past 5 years it has become really bad. Blackouts almost every time I drink, injuries almost every time eg. Bruises, Twisted ankle, herniated disc leading go back surgery, most recently cut lip requiring stitches which happened last weekend. I can have 1 drink or even 2, but as soon as I start feeling that alcoholic buzz there is no turning back. There is more but it is too draining to write it all right now. I think I always knew I had a problem, but am only now starting to accept it.

Welcome to SR, Rabbitgirl; I am very glad that you found us.

Accepting that we are alcoholics can be very difficult but it is vital to recovery; congratulations on making that determination and great first step.

I hope that the support, understanding and encouragement that you receive here will help you find lasting sobriety and recovery. We are here for you 24/7/365.

Again, welcome.

Welcome to SR rabbit girl. I read or post here almost everyday. I believeSR to be the missing piece in my recovery plan. You can do this if you really want to quit. You just need to start with day one.

Hi Rabbitgirl,

Alcoholism is more about what happens to you when you drink, rather than how often or how much you drink. I'm glad you know that you need to make changes in your life. You will find lots of support here, and it's a good idea to come up with a plan for how you will stop drinking and recover.

^^^ Anna is so right!!! Here is a link to a great SR thread regarding the importance of a plan:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst

Welcome to the Forum Rabbitgirl!! :wave:

Welcome Rabbit. That was me - did not have cravings, could go for days/weeks without drinking but once I did drink I was all in. black outs, doing stupid things, etc... It was snowballing and getting progressively worse - I saw where that was going to lead regarding my life and family and had to quit drinking period. I cannot moderate, no matter what I told myself. Quitting was the only solution for me. This forum has been instrumental in helping me stay sober.

post here as often as you need too - there are some very wise people here that can help.

Hey RG

I was also 38 when I realized that I was an alcoholic. I was early stage and didn't know a thing about recovery. I knew a lot about alcoholism! Well, enough to be dangerous. I was/am also stubborn, arrogant, self centered, smart. I thought I could do it 'my' way, just quit, I got this etc etc. 13 years later, with lots of periods of abstinence, and I finally realize that I can't 'think' my way outta this addiction. I need help. And, this condition is progressive. I am now most definitely a late stage alchie. I hope you quit while you're ahead.

Welcome RG - It's good that you have found this place and also that you've admitted you have a problem.
We all have a messed up relationship with alcohol, so you are amongst friends.

Rabbitgirl,

Black outs are scary and dangerous. I'm sorry you've had alcohol related injuries. Quitting isn't easy, but you'll feel so much better once sober and you'll never have to worry about what you said or did, in a black out again.

Hello x

Hi and welcome rabbitgirl :)
I think you've made a great decision to quit - you'll find tons of support here :)

D

Welcome, RG. You are not alone. I am a binge drinker. Once I start I can't stop until I run out of wine. Then I sober up regretting what I did to myself and swear I will never drink again. I don't even like the smell or taste of alcohol. Sounds strange but, that's addiction. I am not the same person when I drink. Of course, I can't tell. I think I am fine but, people can tell and I am not fooling anyone. Hope you find the support you need here at SR.

hello rabbitgirl and welcome

Thank you everyone for your kindness and support. The part 'alcoholism is more about what happens to you when you drink' really hit home. I'm so thankful for this site and the knowledge it has given me. Anyone feel I should attend an AA meeting? I'm willing to do whatever it takes.
Have a beautiful day everyone x

Hi, Rabbitgirl!
Hope you are doing well. I am on Day 2. I made it through the night. Got some sleep but, sweat alot. My head is clearing but, I am shaky. I pray today goes well. I count the hours of detox hoping I will feel better and never feel like this again . (Although I have told myself that many times before.) Something has got to change because this is not how I want my life to be.

Welcome to the family RG. :) I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. :hug:

Strength in unity, RG. PJ

I know that I had to face that I needed F2F support. For me that comes in the form of AA. If you do decide to try it go with an open mind, listen. If you're not 'into' the first meeting you attend, try others. They all have their own kind of flavor so to speak. Good luck

Hi Chloe
Well done on reaching Day 2! I know those first few days can be the worst and totally relate to counting down the hours of detox. How are you doing after today? Sending positive thoughts and love your way. I know I usually spend these days feeling awful and beat myself up about what I did whilst unde the influence. It doesn't help. Try not to do go there if you do, take care and be gentle with yourself rather, have a bubble bath, watch a happy movie, be kind to yourself, you deserve it x

I'm feeling ok about the week, as I know there will be no opportunities for me to drink, but I worry about the weekends. Already that voice was saying to me this morning that maybe I over reacted and that Its not that bad.. I can handle a few drinks if I go out.. I know it's a lie, but it's still there all the same :(

Stick with it Rabbitgirl are you going meetings ?

Thanks for the post and kind words, Rabbitgirl. Yes, I count the hours because every hour I feel alittle better. Going on 32 hours and I am eating a sweet potatoe for the nutrients. Still slightly anxious because I am loopy and really can't recall what I did last week or if I pissed anyone off. When I drink I get obnoxious and my mouth runs off. I am paranoid that my boyfriend might have known I was drinking and is waiting for me to feel better to tell me he can't tolerate me and my drinking. Is paranoia a symptom of detoxing?

Yay I'm so pleased you're still going, good for you �� What a good idea the sweet potato is, I also find that milk thistle and vitamin b seem to help me when I'm feeling like that. I have no idea if it's a symptom, but I also experience paranoia when detoxing for the next few days. Stay strong (hugs)

Welcome to SR! The link about plans is a great one. You should also join the December class and 24 hour thread, both are great supports.

I listened to that rationalising voice a lot rabbitgirl - having my posts (and other peoples posts) to read helped me see I wasn't ovverreacting at all. I had a real problem.

Have you thought about making a recovery plan?
There are some really good ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D