Battle, engaged
 

Exactly four weeks ago I decided to quit drinking. I was so glad I did since my 8 yo daughter had a seizure a couple days after I said "I quit" and she had to spend several days in the hospital. Being sober and not being anxious about when I could get my next drink during this time was a blessing and saved me from a lot of guilt. Since then, however, I've struggled. I've tried to have a glass of wine or what not "in moderation" and once or twice I succeeded, and once or twice I failed miserably and suddenly I'm hiding bottles of whiskey again.

I love the way it makes me feel at first and I hate the way it makes me feel later. The craving is bad. I'm feeling the depression that the drinking kept at bay creeping up on me. I'm trying to do this alone, and I'm tired of having no one to talk to about it, so here I am.

You are going to have to "Battle the Beast" and fight for your life back!!!

Welcome cchick :)

I was ambivalent in a lot of ways when I got here...but I saw the great life other's were enjoying and I wanted that too so I accepted I was giving up drinking for good, forever.

Still no regret 10 years on :)

D

I was drinking as soon as I wake up just to feel normal. There is no such thing as moderation although I pulled it off a couple times. I'm hitting rock bottom today and look forward to not having this feeling.

You did it once, you can do it again. Just keep extending it day by day. That was fortunate that you were sober and able to be present for your child - hope she is OK.
I've had a few situations over the last few months of my sobriety in which I was very, very grateful to have been sober and present when it was important.
Keep posting here and reading. You'll find lots of motivation to keep going.

Man, that was me last night. Passing out but not sleeping well, heart pounding, drinking SO much water and still feeling ill...I definitely realized that in the last month of sobriety I didn't miss all that. In fact, I definitely have the feeling that if I continue, it will kill me. I'm absolutely certain of this.

It was truly a gift from God. Finding sobriety very difficult is also humbling.

Living sober is so much better. I gave it up for good almost 7 yrs ago and don't regret a minute of it. :)

Yes, it is a humbling experience, for sure. I hope you decide to stop drinking and live a sober life. I think it's normal to experience depression when you stop drinking. If the depression is caused by the alcohol, then it will likely lift as time goes by. If you drank to self-medicate depression, then at some point, it might be a good idea to talk to your dr.

It's so good to have you with us, cchick. We are here to listen and help. You'll find plenty of encouragement from those who've been there and understand. You can do this.

Your not alone any more 😊

WOW DEE 10 years thats awesome :c011:
Do you ever have a time when you crave a drink or is that completely gone now.

7 years! Excellent :c011:

I'm thinking I will. I suffer from thyroid problems and I have a lot of fibromyalgia type pain because of it. I've also had depression in the past and I tend to crash/get anxious at night (the 5'oclock craving is baaaad). I think the alcohol helps with both and that's part of the reason I'm in this position now. I've found Wellbutrin helpful before and I'm thinking I may benefit from it again.

Thank you! <3

You're in good company here - we all know the feeling and get how hard it can be. Hang in there for your daughter.

I tried moderation and tapering many times before I finally stopped. I found that most of the time it had a rebound effect where I I'd drink even more for a few days following. I remember when I was trying to quit smoking - back in the late 1990's - the mantra then was even if you can't, keep trying to quit because you need to practice for the day you really quit. And then one day, it happened.

Never smoking again was easy to accept. Never drinking again - now that was hard to swallow.

Moderation has caused me so much trouble too. Well, my inability to moderate!

I've been trying to achieve moderation for 6 years, went to AA 3 years ago and thought I could control it and just went back 40-odd days ago after giving up. That has been the start of my recovery, knowing that the next thing I lost was more important to me than alcohol and giving up on the idea of moderation. I just got tired of the hiding, secrecy, being ill, lying...everything that goes with drug and alcohol abuse.

A day at a time, just take it easy and take it minute by minute if you need to. 4 weeks is brilliant and you know you can do it again. It's entirely achievable and we are all in the same boat!

Welcome cchick!

I had that definite feeling too. My God, I remember thinking, I'm going to drink myself to death if I don't stop ... that was the beginning of the end of my denial.

Should you have moments of weakness, always remind yourself that you stopped drinking to save your own life, and all it will take is one drink to head back down the road to hell.

Keep posting here. There's lots of help and support to get you through any tough times.

Welcome to the Forum Cchick!! :wave: