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Battle, engaged

Old 11-23-2016, 04:47 PM
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Battle, engaged

Exactly four weeks ago I decided to quit drinking. I was so glad I did since my 8 yo daughter had a seizure a couple days after I said "I quit" and she had to spend several days in the hospital. Being sober and not being anxious about when I could get my next drink during this time was a blessing and saved me from a lot of guilt. Since then, however, I've struggled. I've tried to have a glass of wine or what not "in moderation" and once or twice I succeeded, and once or twice I failed miserably and suddenly I'm hiding bottles of whiskey again.

I love the way it makes me feel at first and I hate the way it makes me feel later. The craving is bad. I'm feeling the depression that the drinking kept at bay creeping up on me. I'm trying to do this alone, and I'm tired of having no one to talk to about it, so here I am.
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Old 11-23-2016, 04:59 PM
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You are going to have to "Battle the Beast" and fight for your life back!!!
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:20 PM
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Welcome cchick

I was ambivalent in a lot of ways when I got here...but I saw the great life other's were enjoying and I wanted that too so I accepted I was giving up drinking for good, forever.

Still no regret 10 years on

D
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:37 PM
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I was drinking as soon as I wake up just to feel normal. There is no such thing as moderation although I pulled it off a couple times. I'm hitting rock bottom today and look forward to not having this feeling.
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:45 PM
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You did it once, you can do it again. Just keep extending it day by day. That was fortunate that you were sober and able to be present for your child - hope she is OK.
I've had a few situations over the last few months of my sobriety in which I was very, very grateful to have been sober and present when it was important.
Keep posting here and reading. You'll find lots of motivation to keep going.
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by cat1961 View Post
I was drinking as soon as I wake up just to feel normal. There is no such thing as moderation although I pulled it off a couple times. I'm hitting rock bottom today and look forward to not having this feeling.
Man, that was me last night. Passing out but not sleeping well, heart pounding, drinking SO much water and still feeling ill...I definitely realized that in the last month of sobriety I didn't miss all that. In fact, I definitely have the feeling that if I continue, it will kill me. I'm absolutely certain of this.
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by FLCamper View Post
You did it once, you can do it again. Just keep extending it day by day. That was fortunate that you were sober and able to be present for your child - hope she is OK.
I've had a few situations over the last few months of my sobriety in which I was very, very grateful to have been sober and present when it was important.
Keep posting here and reading. You'll find lots of motivation to keep going.
It was truly a gift from God. Finding sobriety very difficult is also humbling.
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:57 PM
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Living sober is so much better. I gave it up for good almost 7 yrs ago and don't regret a minute of it.
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:00 PM
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Yes, it is a humbling experience, for sure. I hope you decide to stop drinking and live a sober life. I think it's normal to experience depression when you stop drinking. If the depression is caused by the alcohol, then it will likely lift as time goes by. If you drank to self-medicate depression, then at some point, it might be a good idea to talk to your dr.
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:26 PM
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It's so good to have you with us, cchick. We are here to listen and help. You'll find plenty of encouragement from those who've been there and understand. You can do this.
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:27 PM
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Originally Posted by cchick View Post
Exactly four weeks ago I decided to quit drinking. I was so glad I did since my 8 yo daughter had a seizure a couple days after I said "I quit" and she had to spend several days in the hospital. Being sober and not being anxious about when I could get my next drink during this time was a blessing and saved me from a lot of guilt. Since then, however, I've struggled. I've tried to have a glass of wine or what not "in moderation" and once or twice I succeeded, and once or twice I failed miserably and suddenly I'm hiding bottles of whiskey again.

I love the way it makes me feel at first and I hate the way it makes me feel later. The craving is bad. I'm feeling the depression that the drinking kept at bay creeping up on me. I'm trying to do this alone, and I'm tired of having no one to talk to about it, so here I am.
Your not alone any more 😊
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome cchick

I was ambivalent in a lot of ways when I got here...but I saw the great life other's were enjoying and I wanted that too so I accepted I was giving up drinking for good, forever.

Still no regret 10 years on

D
WOW DEE 10 years thats awesome
Do you ever have a time when you crave a drink or is that completely gone now.
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
Living sober is so much better. I gave it up for good almost 7 yrs ago and don't regret a minute of it.
7 years! Excellent
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Old 11-23-2016, 10:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Yes, it is a humbling experience, for sure. I hope you decide to stop drinking and live a sober life. I think it's normal to experience depression when you stop drinking. If the depression is caused by the alcohol, then it will likely lift as time goes by. If you drank to self-medicate depression, then at some point, it might be a good idea to talk to your dr.
I'm thinking I will. I suffer from thyroid problems and I have a lot of fibromyalgia type pain because of it. I've also had depression in the past and I tend to crash/get anxious at night (the 5'oclock craving is baaaad). I think the alcohol helps with both and that's part of the reason I'm in this position now. I've found Wellbutrin helpful before and I'm thinking I may benefit from it again.
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Old 11-23-2016, 10:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
It's so good to have you with us, cchick. We are here to listen and help. You'll find plenty of encouragement from those who've been there and understand. You can do this.
Thank you! <3
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Old 11-23-2016, 11:13 PM
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You're in good company here - we all know the feeling and get how hard it can be. Hang in there for your daughter.
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Old 11-24-2016, 03:50 AM
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I tried moderation and tapering many times before I finally stopped. I found that most of the time it had a rebound effect where I I'd drink even more for a few days following. I remember when I was trying to quit smoking - back in the late 1990's - the mantra then was even if you can't, keep trying to quit because you need to practice for the day you really quit. And then one day, it happened.

Never smoking again was easy to accept. Never drinking again - now that was hard to swallow.
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Old 11-24-2016, 04:08 AM
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Moderation has caused me so much trouble too. Well, my inability to moderate!

I've been trying to achieve moderation for 6 years, went to AA 3 years ago and thought I could control it and just went back 40-odd days ago after giving up. That has been the start of my recovery, knowing that the next thing I lost was more important to me than alcohol and giving up on the idea of moderation. I just got tired of the hiding, secrecy, being ill, lying...everything that goes with drug and alcohol abuse.

A day at a time, just take it easy and take it minute by minute if you need to. 4 weeks is brilliant and you know you can do it again. It's entirely achievable and we are all in the same boat!
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Old 11-24-2016, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by cchick View Post
In fact, I definitely have the feeling that if I continue, it will kill me. I'm absolutely certain of this.
Welcome cchick!

I had that definite feeling too. My God, I remember thinking, I'm going to drink myself to death if I don't stop ... that was the beginning of the end of my denial.

Should you have moments of weakness, always remind yourself that you stopped drinking to save your own life, and all it will take is one drink to head back down the road to hell.

Keep posting here. There's lots of help and support to get you through any tough times.
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Old 11-24-2016, 03:02 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Cchick!!
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