need to do this
 

Hello all, i am feeling very delicate at the moment, literally spent the last 4 weeks admitting that I have a problem, but the going 3-4 days dry and then get wasted. If I do not quit drinking I am going to lose everything. My partner is about to give up on me, and seeing her crying this morning because I cant control my drinking is a sobering thought. I feel totally and utterly ashamed at the moment. Looks like I will be here for the long haul.

Welcome Pieman. This is a great place to start.

Thanks Thomas,
I hate myself right now :(

Soberrecovery has helped me immensely. I am 104 days sober now thanks to this group of people. You can do this.

Been there. Ive got lots of those memories. Quitting benefits everyone. Stay with us you can do it.

I will stick with it this time. I have no choice, my partner has taken off for the day and I feel full of guilt.

Keep posting, Pieman. There is so much great support for you here. :-)

Why do I feel so angry with myself?

I think we have all been there pieman give yourself time to forgive yourself brother gradually things will get better the longer you stay sober

Welcome to SR!
It is a great place for you to begin your recovery journey.

Most of us have been right where you are, angry about our words/actions when we were drinking. I'm glad you are here today, there is so much support on SR, spend some time reading and posting. You should join the August class, and also pop in on the 24 hour thread each day.

Looking forward to seeing you here.

Pieman, anger toward yourself is quite common in early recovery. I kept going over the 'what ifs' and blaming myself for starting to drink and for not stopping sooner. If you feel anger, use it as a catalyst to move forward with your recovery, and as much as you want to do this for your partner. ultimately you must do it for yourself.

Hi Pieman, welcome to SR.

Thanks everyone, my partner came home before going back out to work (in a bar) and I feel like she is worn out with me, almost like she thinks that I am not going to stay sober, its like we have been here so many times before. I will do this, even though i feel like a total waste of space at the moment.

Pieman, I drank daily for the past 8-10 years, only at night but had an ahaaaa! moment last weekend. I visualized what my liver looked like, watched alcohol documentaries, read forums, youtube etc and it scared the poop out of me, I just said I gotta stop.....I'm almost at the 36 hour mark and feel good, be stubborn! get mad! stop now!

Instead of drinking this evening im lying on my bed feeling totally lost and angry.

Pieman, it was helpful to realize my past 20 year choices were not the best but to realize everything moving forward could be different. What a difference it makes to wake up in the morning, I'll focus just on tomorrow, not puking in the toilet, or wondering what I did the night before. It also helps me to focus on liver health, read about it, create healthy drinks.......

I guess that I just need to work through this and then start planning for the future. I don't even feel like a drink just feel like the bottom has fell out of my world.

Welcome Pieman

Welcome aboard Pieman :)

D