Not doing so well...
 

Well, I lost my job on Tuesday. Due to a DUI. I went to treatment right after the DUI and decided to drink last night. I cannot go down this path again. I feel completely broken and want to drink it all away. If I had a bottle or access to liquor I'd be drinking right now.

I need to get off this pity party for 1. I just do not know how to pick myself back up right now.

Drinking brought you to where you are. Drinking is an escape, a temporary balm for your pain, but it won't fix what is broken. Sobriety will.

Start over.

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

Immediate question: this Tues, this all happened? Was "treatment" just detox? Or did you lose the job because of DUI, then go to treatment, then start drinking again just recently?

Based on your answer to that, can you actually go into (or back into) treatment, inpatient if you need it (sounds so)?

Lost my job because I did not report the DUI with work. I go to court the end of this month and am not sure of the outcome yet. I entered treatment right after the DUI in March. I cannot allow this to spiral out of control again.

Do you have a plan to stop drinking and to stay sober? I think it might be helpful if you had a plan to follow. This link has lots of handy information:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

I do understand your desperation but the only way to stop is to stop. Can you get to an AA meeting?

I think then you need to take extraordinary measures to stop it from spiraling out of control, no?

You could go to an AA meeting as has already been suggested. You could contact the treatment center you recently went to and see if there are follow up or outpatient services available. You could spend some time here reading and asking questions. There's really a lot of things you could do...the question is whether or not you are willing to do them, right?

I am not able to drive due to the DUI.

I called the treatment center - they are closed. I have stuff lined up that I need to do. I will not drink at all today. I need to get myself out of this funk/depression.

Behappy, based on your previous thread, you knew this outcome was possible. I'm very sorry to hear you lost your job. So let's take some inventory, you got a DUI due to drinking, you've lost your job (due to drinking), and we all know that to continue to drink will simply cause you to lose more and more. Including your dignity. Or you can buck up, stop drinking booze and rebuild your life bigger and better than before. Face your issues head on. This is not the end, you can make it a new beginning. I'm rootin for ya man.

Thomas - you are 100% right. I wish I hated alcohol. I wish I could get it to click in my mind that it is the devil himself. Instead I run to it time after time.

Does anyone know of any meetings that are online? Celebrate Recovery, SMART, AA. Anything? I am so desperate for a change. I am so utterly defeated right now. I need to get out of this mindset. All I want to do is drink it all away.

I don't know any meetings online since I don't participate in any type of meetings but I am sure someone will come along that does - or you can trying just putting "Online AA meetings" in google. Google seems to work for most things.

I know everything seems to be falling apart but I promise you continuing to drink will not make it better, only worse. We all turned to drugs and alcohol to escape our problems at one point or another but really all it did was mask/numb the problems for a little bit but in the end you just end up more depressed with more anxiety with even more problems.

The first step is not drinking, the second step is to make a recovery plan so when you are having a weak moment you can go to the recovery plan and call someone or reach out to help with a doctor, counselor, family member, sober friends, etc.

you can do this!

there are boatloads of online meetings of almost any flavor....i know there are links around here somewhere......or you can google them.

hang in there ok?

There are meetings online here at SR at 8 p.m. Central Time on Fridays and Tuesdays. For most of my first year of sobriety, I attended them consistently and found the support very helpful.

Thank you - I will be there. I have isolated myself so much while drinking. I won't go to an AA in my town. It's too small and I have first hand experience with the gossip that ensued. I attempted to go to an IOP in a town nearby. It spread like wildfire, which is against HIPA. I went for an initial assessment and someone saw me and pulled my medical chart.

I do appreciate all of the support here. I am very, very down today. Not sure which way to turn and what to do at this point. I have had phone calls to have a lunch date to figure out what direction I want to take as far as employment. That is good, but at this point I just want to crawl in a hole for a very long time.

Thanks Venecia, I knew there were meetings on this forum. :tyou

Behappy, I understand. It sounds like you take pride in your work and its important in your life. A drunken mistake/accident forced me to sell my company. It was not a hugely successful company but I did do between 3-4 million dollars in 12 years. So yeah, I can relate to being very down about the future. I'm starting from scratch...again. But if I can do it, so can you. But the first step is getting it together.

I agree - I spoke with my bff today and I feel a little better. I forced myself to go outside and water some flowers. I am starting to feel a little more motivated and really work on my sobriety and kick alcohol's a@@. I am highly qualified and I'll find something work wise or figure it out. The last few days have been some very dark days. I prayed for the best possible outcome with my job. I cannot believe this was the answer that Ive gotten. I had a good reminder of how dark they can be and how I cannot control alcohol. If I could have drank today I would have done so. I'm glad I didn't have access to it.

Behappy1, I can relate. DUI's and losing a job is a real bear. I had some trouble today and wished I could get drunk and not think about it for awhile. I didn't do it because it would not help one damn bit. The sun is going to come up tomorrow, hopefully it will be a better day for both of us. One thing for sure, I'm not going to be hungover and miss most of it.

Cheers
Chris