First day, first time
 

This is my first attempt to recover from alcohol dependence. I'm trying to do it on my own, but I feel I need support. And people on this site will understand better than my family and friends. I don't really know how ling I've been actually dependent, but I know it's gotten worse, to this point. I function and work and no one in my life knows. But I want very much to free myself of this problem. I'm on day 2, and having some withdrawals. Yesterday was rough. But it got better than in the morning. Are mornings worse? I could use some encouragement from you who've suffered through and understand and won't judge. Please. Thank you. 😊

Welcome to SR.

Early sobriety is rough. Period. The physical manifestation of early withdrawal weren't that bad in the morning for me. I think it was the anxiety that plagued me all day that was worse, followed by the obsessive thoughts of drinking at night.

But it gets better, if you stay sober. You have to believe that while you are feeling your worst.

Welcome! One thing that has really helped me (only on Day 10) is drinking TONS of water. I've tried to quit before, but I didn't sufficiently hydrate and I recall it being much harder.

Good for making the tough decision to get started in recovery!

Everyone's detox/withdrawal/physical process is different. It might help to read up on what goes on - for me it help and still helps bolster my understanding of getting healthy. This is one good article (long and worth reading) - https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

I didn't find mornings worse, especially. My immediate process, really the first 4-6 weeks were tough and I had pretty much all of the classic effects: nightmares and night sweats, tremors, extreme exhaustion, difficulty eating and dehydration, cramps that moved through different parts of my body and such. I was a VERY heavy drinker so depending on your situation, consumption and just your body, your experience may be different. I spent a lot of time in drs offices - various kinds from my GP to my now liver dr to my psych- and focused on sleeping, getting on a regular eating path, drinking as much non-caffeinated beverage as I could and so on. I am at 105 days and feel SO much better - but it is a 1, 3,6, 12 mo to 2yr process of healing physically, per most literature, so I expect plenty of ups and downs.

Good luck and hang in there- getting through the physical is possible and will happen if you stick to it.

Thank you
 

Thank you for responding. This is all so new for me I feel a bit lost. But also feel proud that I'm trying to do it. I just want any help I can get to stay on the path. I don't want to go back and get worse and worse and I fear that's what would have happened. I'm also mad at myself for getting here at all. Now I can't just enjoy alcohol because I've let myself get addicted to it. That's a real bummer. I don't know if I'm convinced enough that I should never touch it again... My life hasnt spiraled our of control. I'm in the early stages of addiction I think. Cuz my withdrawals aren't that bad. What are your thoughts?

I think you are wise to stop now! Don't let it get worse- tackle this problem, which you admit you have, at the stage where you are.

You admit you have a "dependence" and "are addicted" but you aren't sure you should never touch it again. Since those contradict each other, you will have to decide if the latter is indeed the case. Everyone comes to that decision themselves, if they need to - and the decision is either to stop, or not. No one amount of outside input can make this decision for you.

It is very painful and very costly to get to an extreme like I did- the choice of life or death. My story would take pages and pages to share (which, in fact, I have to do as an assignment from my AA sponsor) and everyone's is different.

Again, I suggest that you read on withdrawal and the physical process you asked about. I also suggest you go to AA and listen. See what you identify with in others' stories and thoughts and struggles.

Bottom line, IMO and IME if you think you are addicted, worry you are an alcoholic and feel that a change has to be made - it does.

Good luck.

Hey Hlk,

Welcome. You will find all the support you need here.

Early recovery is definitely tough, but if you post here at anytime you will receive advice and support from people who understand.

. Yep. that was me too.

Still is. My plan is to go to bed sober today. I don't think beyond that.

Best wishes

Fradley

Thank you so much!! I do feel dehydrated,,,never liked water much,,, liked other drinks better obviously... 😜 so I will definitely try it!!

Read my first ever post and the few after. I was in the early stages of addiction and had very slight withdrawls. The fine people here told me to stop drinking and I like an idiot went to just on weekends. They warned me about kindling. Google kindling alcoholism please.

With kindling my slight withdrawls got worse just a little bit at a time. So slow I just fought it. At first it was slight insomnia and high blood pressure. After a year the neurological side of things were hitting. You dont want that. Muscle twitches all day, hypnic jerks at night, insomnia, and a host of other things.

I was told to stop and I didnt. It was a mistake. I am a week in now and the withdrawls are going away. I had cravings on Saturday and fought through. Just because our lives havent spiraled we are still addicts. I cant believe I let it come to this but I did. I am not drinking all of June and probably never again. I feel too good right now to go back.

I cant have just a few. I wish I could. Join me for sober June?

Please google kindling alcoholism. I wish I would have read it all and taken it to heart a year ago.

Thank you so much. People are amazing how they struggle to get through life and fall prey to easy fixes which harm us, but want to get out of it,,, and help each other!
You are doing amazing!! Jeep it up my friend!!
Hlk 😄

hlk - re dehydration: I drink a lot of water but totally agree, it's kinda boring! I switch up my non-alc bevs. At first, it was tons of soda water with a LOT of cut lemons. Now, it is SmartWater (I like the lemon flav best) or soda water mixed with the diet lemonade we make at work.

For caffeine, I do hazelnut coffee in the am (love my Kuerig one cup!) and unsweet tea later (occasional diet coke drinker in recovery, here!). Also, re nutrition- lots of foods, like fruit, green vegs like spinach, lettuce and more, have a high water content so that will contribute to your hydration. Nutrition is SO important in recovery - when drinking, we don't retain the nutrients we actually DO consume (if we do) and in the other ways our bodies are damaged, as mentioned above, we are usually malnourished, often anemic, under-or over-weight, and such.

Google kindling alcoholism please.

I cant have just a few. I wish I could. Join me for sober June?

Thank you so much. I'm sure you're right,,, that I probably can never have another drink again. That makes me so sad,,, because I used to just enjoy it normally. But it's my own fault I let it get out of control. So dumb.
Yes,,,, I would love to join you for sober June... Thank you 😊

Thanx for all the good advice my new friends! I'm feeling like I'm definitely on the right path.
I have another question.
I don't know if I should tell my family. I don't want their disappointment in me but I also want understanding and to be successful.
What do you guys think?

Thanx bd84
 

Thank you for your input. I will look up kindling, never heard of it. And I think you understand where I'm at cuz you were here too. And that's very helpful. I'm very glad I'm making this decision. I don't want to be addicted and a slave to anything!!

Get some sobriety for awhile then deal with family and other stuff. No rush right? Make staying sober your #1 priority.

Hi HLK,
Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of support on here. There are also chat meetings on Tues/Fri at 8PM Central time

As far as telling others, I would encourage you to share with others who have gone through the same thing or with those rare people who have a level of empathy that can transcend their own experiences.

I say this because I shared with a friend I thought would understand. She was nice and said supportive things, yet later I stopped getting invites from her. I asked her about it later and she seemed shocked I thought it was because I told her I was alcoholic. I am not sure she did it deliberately but she did say she didn't want to look at her own drinking.
anyway, it really sucked as she was someone I had been friends with a long time.
At this stage it is important to be supported and understood, unfortunately not everyone can do this.
My family found out because they came to my house when I was drunk. I told them I got help (I did at the time) but we don't talk about it anymore. They seem like they don't want to know, alcoholism scares them.

Just some thoughts, keep coming back :)

Also I read Rational Recovery which is helpful in understanding the drinking mindset, you might find it beneficial.

Welcome Hlk

I think it depends on your relationship. For me, it was important to open up to them and get their support, it also helps me hold myself accountable. I expected some backlash from at least one person, but got nothing but a positive response.

Best of luck moving forward!