When is it okay to enjoy a drink? I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass? |
I tried for 20 years to somehow make that happen and it never did, Ben. When I looked back I realised I was never that kind of drinker - I always drank to get wasted. If you're that same kind of drinker I think you really need to consider that there will never be a time when you can drink without those benders and bad consequences. A lot of people confuse abstinence with control, but they;re not the same thing. I haven't had a drink now for 9 years but I believe if I did I'd be back to benders in no time. D |
As an alcoholic I can NEVER drink again. To do so would open up the gates of hell. |
I personally can't have a few drinks because it would reawaken the addiction. If you are anything like me you need to become okay with the idea of not drinking again. Tough at first but it will become normal. |
For me never, tried it many times over my 30 year drinking career, after staying sober sometimes 30 months, simply picked up where I left off which was a disaster, never again and I am happier now than I ever have been. |
The last time I tried that I was drunk for 3 weeks. I'll pass. |
I had a feeling you guys were gonna say that. I quit smoking a while ago and now I can't imagine having a cigarette so fingers crossed it will be the same thing. Only problem is smoking is antisocial and drinking is social. |
If I could enjoy "a" drink, that would be great. But everytime I was in a position where I was limited to "a" single drink, it drove me nuts. It wasn't enjoyable, so I avoided occasions where the supply might be limited. Even then, it was never enjoyable. I was having a discussion with friends the other day, about dining out. One said: "A glass of wine is best accompanied by a nice meal" . I said I don't see it quite like that. I would say "A glass of wine is best accompanied by another glass of wine, and another". |
Originally Posted by ben83
(Post 5930602)
I had a feeling you guys were gonna say that. I quit smoking a while ago and now I can't imagine having a cigarette so fingers crossed it will be the same thing. Only problem is smoking is antisocial and drinking is social. I can be a lot more sociable now, to be honest - I just don't drink alcohol. It doesn't matter whats in my glass. D |
I thought for a long time I could use the moderation management technique which has been demonstrated to work for many. But many relapses into major binge drinking has me now convinced that I just can't. Sounds like you might be in the same boat. |
My on/off switch is broken. It's that simple. That is why I am here. Given that fact, I just gotta remain committed to keeping my finger off the stupid switch. |
My only attempt at moderation was a failure! I had 14 sober months in, thought the habit was broken and I could safely have 1 or 2... Well 1 leads to 2, which leads to 3, 4, 5 6 and 7! I know that now....lesson learned. Took 6 years to try again.......:headbange So now I just don't drink, no counting or thinking involved. So much simpler! 18 months tomorrow......and no plans to try one or two! |
When can I "enjoy" a drink again? When pigs fly!! |
In my opinion...never. I didn't drink for many many years. Not a single drop. I decided to try moderating after that long period of sobriety and within 2 weeks I was WORSE than ever. Alcoholics will never be able to moderate. It's like trying to grow a new arm. It will never happen. Our disease progresses forever. The only way to put it in remission is complete abstinence. #truth |
I'm with everyone else that's posted ... I can't have 1 or 2 drinks. I tried to have "a drink" after being 2 months sober back in March. 6 weeks later..... I'm now on day 9 ! Won't be "trying" that BS again! |
Originally Posted by ben83
(Post 5930590)
I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass? if alcoholic ????? From what I've seen -- we are doomed. Let's all remember now a fool is one who fools themself. M-Bob |
Originally Posted by BBQBOY
(Post 5930666)
When can I "enjoy" a drink again? When pigs fly!! saw a few of those flying pigs back when I was drinking. M-Bob |
one or two drinks isn't an option really. . . even if I manage it once or twice sooner or later I'm back where I started or worse it does get much easier and now I don't even want to have one or two |
For me, it is okay to enjoy a drink when there is no alcohol in it. But seriously, I've read many stories of people going back to addiction after 20+ years without a drink. I don't think I'm different from them in any way. |
Not only can I never drink again - I don't want to drink. I am too happy sober to mess that up by drinking. :) |
I can live a life that offers fulfillment, with self-respect and better physical, mental and emotional health. Or I can drink. It's one or the other for me and I choose the former. One of the things that keeps me going is looking at it as freedom, not a sentence or punishment. |
Originally Posted by ben83
(Post 5930590)
I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass? |
When is it okay to enjoy a drink? when i decide i want to throw away the peace, serenity, and self love ive worked hard for and decide i want the gloom,dispair,and agony back, have my family throw me out of their lives, and die a slow, miserable death. pretty much when i become insane again. |
Not for me either, I don't feel I have another recovery in me, can't risk that. Hope you make the right choice. xx |
Originally Posted by tomsteve
(Post 5930810)
when i decide i want to throw away the peace, serenity, and self love ive worked hard for and decide i want the gloom,dispair,and agony back, have my family throw me out of their lives, and die a slow, miserable death. Mountainmanbob |
These are the rationales that I gave myself for trying to drink occasionally in the past and they were all doomed to failure. 1. I'll only drink when I go out to eat with friends and family. 2. I'll only drink when I hear they make a perfect mojito. 3. I'll only drink on a holiday. 4. I'll only drink to enjoy a fine wine or scotch and not to excess. 5. I'll only drink with others and never alone. 6. I'll only drink on (name a day of the week) 7. I'll only drink if I reach the age of 95 (this one is still in play. Just kidding) |
ben, when was the last time you had exactly TWO drinks, stopped, and ENJOYED it? didn't want more, didn't have more? you said something about now having water in your beer glass......here's the thing, for regular NON-alcoholic drinkers, there really isn't much of a difference between a glass of water, or a glass of wine. except perhaps the wine COMPLIMENTS the dinner - as does good seasoning. |
I had been sober for 13 years and near the end had one glass once a year ... Until after 3 years it morphed into regular drinking and quitting was unbelievably difficult - it took me 2 1/2 years and a great deal of effort. I can socialize just fine without a drink and I don't want to ever go back! |
I didn't enjoy A drink at the end of my drinking. It was a cruel necessity to stop the full force of withdrawal. I stopped. For ten and a half months then thought "I'll try one or two." It was never one or two. And it got worse. Then I quit again. Didn't drink for ten and a half months. Had a drink and I went back to the levels I was at before quitting. I can't go back. And in the end, there was nothing social about my drinking. I didn't want the be around people. I drank alone. Now smoking? I've always found smoking far more sociable than drinking. I got my job thru someone I met while smoking. Met my husband while out smoking. It's all perspective. Nothing that any of us say will convince you either way. Didn't for me, at any rate. Stubbornly, I had to find out for myself. I'm just better off not drinking and I'm social enough without it |
Originally Posted by ben83
(Post 5930590)
I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass? :grouphug: |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:44 AM. |