How do I know if I'm an addict?
 

A quick recap of my life.. Started using Coke in my early 20s, of course it started off as just once in awhile. Then escalated to every night.. Calling out of work bc of it, starting drinking too much to help 'bring me down'. I od'd a couple times and ended up in hospital.
In 2007 I started using adderall. Went to dr 'seeking it'. In my mind it was a legal way of obtaining that high.. It was like 'legal Coke' in my mind. I never abused it. Never snorted it. Took as prescribed. One time I ran out and couldn't get to a dr apt for 3 wks. Felt so awful I got Coke again. Since that time, I have no used Coke.
Now, 9 years later I'm trying to wean myself off adderall. I told my dr I want off and so far so good. I'm starting to wonder if once I'm off adderall if I'm gonna crave Coke again? I sometimes wonder who the real me is bc I'm not sure I remember. I don't remember what it's like to live without that 'high' feeling.

I don't want to live like this anymore.. even tho I haven't done Coke in tears and don't abuse my adderall.. am I an addict? I'm just trying to figure things out in my life right now. I'm just looking for people's insight who have been in my shoes before.. That's all..

Hi and welcome Sankofa02 :)

If you're using adderal for a high isn't that misusing it though? :dunno:

D

Haha, good point.
Ugh
Didn't even think of it that way...

I have no experience with adderall but I've had similar lightbulb moments with other drugs, trust me :)

This is a great community for help and support - I'm glad you found us :)

D

Welcome Sankofa02

Hi and welcome Sankofa02.

Welcome Sankofa

you could try answering the 29 questions in this pamphlet - http://na.org/admin/include/spaw2/up.../IP/EN3107.pdf

Of course, you could use this method - when I first sought recovery someone told me - "Normal people never ask themselves if they might be an addict or an alcoholic. Go grab a cup of coffee, sit down, and enjoy the meeting."

Is adderall causing problems in your life? Or do you just want off it because morally you feel you are using it as a crutch? Just curious.

Welcome to the family. :) You'll find lots of support here. :)

It's not causing problems per se.. Someone came into my life over a year ago and made me realize some things I guess you can say. He said I was an addict, and I just rolled my eyes at him. But a few convos later I started wondering if he was right..

And last month I got a false positive preg test. It was a wake up call so to speak.. At that moment thinking I couldn't pop these pills anymore freaked me out and made me realize that I 'needed' them more than I realized. I'm in the process of tapering from 30mg and down to 10 right now. ..the only downfall of being on addy is the 'crash'.. but yeah...:headbange:headbange

welcome aboard.... to a good place for getting headed down a better path.

As for your question, I'd suggest worrying less about what you call it and just focusing on what it is you want your life to be about?

The things you've shared in just your short post here suggest you DON'T want your life to be about "being high".... that you DO want your life to be lived knowing who you are.... that you are coming to realize that this path you are on isn't consistent with your true desires.

If what I'm picking up on is where you're at - then I would suggest you work on the choice to be drug free, to live your life fully by embracing it fully. If that's what you're after, this is a good place to stick around, learn and start understanding the path to freedom from drugs and / or alcohol.

At least your doing here with us as support know your not doing this alone x

Thanks for the welcoming everyone:)

Welcome to the Forum Sankofa!! :wave: