Half assed last time..
 

Don't know what to do.. I do great being moderate for awhile then I go back to drinking a few too many and falling asleep forgetting some of the conversation I had with my husband the night before.. :/ it's good for awhile but then I have too much and do that for a few days/weeks and then feel guilty and like I should quit then log onto here.. I miss being able to drink moderately.. It's been awhile. Anyone else? I need some accountability tonight! Trying not to have a drink, having tea and a hot bath instead. Maybe gonna eat a little too much when I get out!

Have you looked at this link Mama?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

I think posting here regularly could really help to. If we want a lasting recovery I think we have to work for it a little more?

D

Yes! Post and read often. Just reading others' stories of both success and failure, is enough to keep me sober. :)

There is strength in numbers, and there's a lot of us here. :grouphug:

Last time I tried to drink moderately I wound up losing a month and a half! After struggling so bad for two years to moderate it, I realized finally I was far too gone to ever get back to that point. Every time I start again the detox gets worse. Least is right... definitely strength in numbers. You can gain a lot by surrounding yourself with people who understand and care. Keep reading and posting :grouphug:

I think you need to accept this do not listen to your AV x

You have been coming here long enough to know that if you could have moderated, you would have. You can't.

Acceptance of that might be the first step in getting sober for good.

The only thing that has derailed my sobriety multiple times was
the illusion that I could still moderately drink.
It's too late, and I can't.
Sounds like you can't either.
Now that I've stopped thinking moderation,
I'm actually enjoying being sober and much more at peace.
Take the next step--not just for but for your kids.

I had to surrender! I was never going to win the battle with drugs and alcohol if I continued. That was the first thing I had to do.

I spent a year determined to moderate my drinking. It simply got worse and worse and I felt worse and worse about myself. Alcoholics cannot moderate their drinking. Are you willing to stop drinking for good? I hope so.

I cannot moderate. I always end up in the drinking every day stage. Doesn't take long. The fact that it took me so long to realize that, caused me to have daily withdrawals and severe panic attacks.

Now that I admitted it and know I can't have this abusive relationship, being sober is awesome and rewarding and much easier than any other attempt. I fully believe that from this day forward I will live a sober life. But I had to first recognize my problem and stop romanticizing alcohol.

I find moderation akin to torture, its easier to just abstain in my opinion.

Thomas is so right.

Torture.

Just stop, not easy, but it is easier.

Unfortunately 2 half assed attempts dont make a whole good one. If it did I would have been good a while back lol.

At least you are aware that you maybe arent putting 100% into it.

When you are ready to put 100% into being sober, it will be much easier and less painful.

Good luck.

Thank you everyone.. Gotta start over tomorrow.. I had a few glasses tonight! I feel like such a failure.. Gonna tell my hubby I need to quit for good. He drinks moderately.. I can't make him quit so no alcohol in the house isn't an option. Plus there's always alcohol at other peoples houses and at restaurants.. It's not realistic to me to just not have it in the house at all.

If your husband knows, it will make things easier. If you know you can't drink around him, that will take the pressure off you.

I think it could be, if you explained things to your husband.

My house is a dry zone - I figured if I can't be safe there I can't be safe anywhere.
My friends and family are ok with that - they drink elsewhere.

All those thoughts I had about it 'not being fair' to my friends/family cos 'it was my problem' kept booze right there within easy reach for me for years.

You've had a lot of trouble trying to get back to be sober Mama. Maybe it's time to put you first a little?

D

Yeah. I've done it before though. And I'm at my sisters house all the time too. They all drink, except my mom and my dad has issues with alcohol too:/ (they all live in the same house). I'm there a lot because my mom has cancer and I'm her caretaker part time as well as her assistant in her business(she's training me to take over someday).... I've been able to be around drinkers before and had no issues so I can get back to that point... Having it in the house isn't going to be a problems once my hubby knows I'm giving it up again. I haven't told him. I've gone back and forth so many times he probably doesn't really believe me.