Thinking about drinking....again
 

All of the sudden I'm obsessing about wine again. I miss the taste, the feeling, my friends. I feel bored and anxious a lot of the time. I still can't imagine doing this (sobriety) forever. Advice?

If I entertain the thought of drinking for long
I usually end up with a drink in my hand.

Hard but, we must retrain our thinking.

MB

Read this...

Mummy was a Secret Drinker: The Obstacle Course

I feel like I can't hang out with my friends anymore because I'm too nervous all the time. I find social settings extremely uncomfortable so I've been avoiding them which is getting to me. I haven't seen my friends in three months. one of my friends asked me the other day when I was going to start drinking again like it was inevitable. I just think people liked me better when I was drinking. I'm not fun anymore.

You are fun.

Boredom is one of the main reason many people relapse.

I know its a huge problem for me.

One thing someone on here said that helped somehow was to realise that boredom is an emotion.

The other thing that helps me is to realise that I can do all those things, just not drink.

So if what makes it fun is that I am drinking, that is an issue. At least for me.

Plus, one drink really is all it takes for most f us to be back at square one.

Dont do it.

As Dee would say -- abstinence is NOT control, or for me -- never quit the decision.

You can do this.

Maybe write a list of all the problems that alcohol has caused you...got in the way of...ruined...the hangovers and alcohol blues you've experienced. There is a reason you decided not to drink...remind yourself of all those things and don't listen to your AV x

A lot of my friends liked me better drunk, but what does that tell us about them? They needed me to drink in order to make them feel better about their own drinking!

I practice something I call "thought-squashing." When a thought of alcohol enters my head, I don't entertain it or argue with it. I squash it HARD and force it out of my head. It's kind of like hanging up the phone on someone.

I do ANYTHING necessary to force it out of my head. I don't try to understand it. I just force it out.

I'm not going to drink. I'm just very frustrated. I'm back to obsessing about it everyday. I thought I was past this part.

This craving won't last, think about the importance your putting onto something that will harm you does that make sense don't let your AV do this

Try writing a journal entry or gratitude list & going for a nice walk it helps clear my head

Well done on your resolve not to drink despite how you are feeling. Easier said than done...I know...but...maybe it's time to explore new friendships and interests?

Hope you feel better soon x

Do you have a sober counter app? I use SoberTool on my iPad and I love that thing. It not only counts days, but better, it adds up the money I've saved. I was never a big quantity drinker (just a very very consistent one) and it's still amazing how fast it adds up.

I'll look that up. Thanks!

What have you done to replace the drinking time in your life?

Recovery is much more than not drinking.
What about organizing some sober social get-togethers
like walks, hiking, coffee, movies. . .

What about taking up an instrument, jewelry-making, or taking
some on-line classes?

Replace and improve drinking time with living time
it really works SC :grouphug:

you dont have to quit forever just quit for today. one day at a time. all this stuff your feeling about it I felt too. It passes.

I swore people liked me more when i drank. and you know honestly many did lol and it changed the dynamic of my relationships and i lost others. I had to figure out how to just shrug it off. It is what it is.

I also went through a few phases where i obsessed about picking up again. I waited it out. I wanted to be sure I was going to be making the right choice to pick back up again the obsession passed as well and I never picked up I just moved on.

as for anxiety I dunno for me it comes with the sober territory. I went for walks early on to try and calm my nerves and ease the boredom. I didnt want too I thought ugg this is so stupid why do i have to do this. But i grew to enjoy it etc.. and it helped.

But some stuff like for me anyhow with anxiety its just an ongoing thing. I dunno that i'll ever be "cured" its just something I always have to work on no biggie I'm ok with that now rather then trying to find a "fix" instead.

Hang on. Three month/four months is still early on. The anxiety will die down - but it took me nearly a year. Keep going - it is a miracle - you are a miracle. Not drinking is the natural state.

There is plenty to do that doesn't involve alcohol. I think maybe you will find new friends if you find some hobbies or volunteer. If someone encourages me to drink they are not a friend in my opinion.

Advice?

Don't.

:)

Get a sponsor, work the steps........

When I did step 3, memorizing the 3rd step prayer incorporating it into my daily prayer and meditation - the obsession to drink left me and has not returned.

I see many who simply go to meetings - that's great, the fellowship is wonderful. But I have a disease of the body,mind and spirit with the solution being (on our chips) unity,recovery and service.

Are you doing these things?

Then find a set of people who like you for who you are, rather than who you become when alcohol is added.

If you want to be fun, get out and do fun things. Hike, bike, volunteer at a charity, go to museums, go body-surfing. You'll meet people who share your interests.

I'm signing up to be a volunteer at my local public library. That way I should get to meet all five people who enjoy reading in this part of Texas. :)

I don't go to AA. I went to a couple meetings many years ago when I thought I had a problem. I felt very out of place because I was a high functioning/high bottom drinker. Those meetings make me feel like I don't have a problem.

^^^ This; every word.

Volunteering is very therapeutic; it helps the recipient and somehow exponentially helps the volunteer; it's magic!!!

Up to five now? :lmao

you say people liked you better when you were drinking.
thats delusional.
your not fun? maybe you have to redefine what fun is.

real,honest, true friends would not ask you when you were going to drink again.

i noticed the 3 month coin in yer avatar.
have ya brought this up at a meeting or with your sponsor?

As I'm writing this my neighbor just stopped over and asked why I haven't visited for three months. I told him I quit drinking. He laughed and said I don't need to not drink and I should stop up and have a glass with his wife. I used to drink a lot with her. I miss her. He said she misses me. I told him to tell her to come over for tea. He laughed. I want to cry.

Yep, I'm a "high-functioning high-bottom" drinker too,
but still have found alcohol to be a problem in my life.

So, to push you a bit, what are you doing to replace the drinking?
What small steps can you take towards adding things
after the big subtraction of booze?

You put yourself at risk for relapse if you sit and stew and don't
take some proactive steps.
I learned this the hard way. . .

no, you made yourself feel like you dont have a problem because you feel at the high functioning stage of alcoholism was something others didnt experience.

THEY STOPPED IN TIME

We think that about one-half of today's incoming A.A. members were never advanced cases of alcoholism; though, given time, all might have been.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The twelve who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these twelve A.A.'s, and thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."

Call her directly and ask her over for tea at some non-booze time like 10 a.m. If she really misses you, the person, and not you as a fellow boozer, she'll take you up on it.

I started painting. I listen to relaxing music and do yoga. I watch netflix. I clean. I go shopping. I'm eating better. I'm doing really good much of the time. But lately it seems like I'm being tempted more than before. Not sure why. I think I miss my friends. Maybe I'm afraid they aren't really my friends. That hurts.

Last weekend I went out singing (karaoke) and I accidentally took a drink of my friend's alcohol instead of my water. I wanted to swallow it but I didn't. After holding it in my mouth for a few seconds I spit it out. Maybe that incident made me want it more.

I think she'll pressure me to drink.

Sounds like she might have a problem? You're right, of course, since that's the case.

How about animals, are you an animal person? How about volunteering at a shelter to walk dogs? A dog is never ever going to nag at you to have a glass of wine.

And I suspect that sip you spit out (and good for you) did probably wake up your addicted subconscious.

I have three cats. :)