I Lie
 

So I tell people I have a stomach condition and that is why I dont drink. I think there is nothing wrong with this. It hurts noone and makes any discussion or persuasion attempts moot.

I used to think that I needed to be honest but really no. My sobriety is my own goal, no-one needs to know why I chose not to drink.

Thoughts?

I agree that it's nobody's business if you don't drink. And, I don't tell people that I don't drink. Lying was connected to my drinking, because I was always trying to hide my drinking from my family. The lies were constant. So, for me, I knew that I wasn't going to lie anymore when I stopped drinking.

Say whatever you want.

Are you really asked that often? I haven't drank since Sept 2010 and I might have been asked once why I don't drink. One time. I don't remember my response but I probably told the person that I quit drinking. Nothing I'm ashamed of.

I have been asked a number of times, would I like a drink. "No, thank you" has always sufficed.

I'm asked less than I expected, and the first few months of my sobriety were pretty quiet. Now I go out again and have been travelling so I'd say I'm asked at least once a week.

If I make a new close friend I tell them and I told my girlfriend and my parents. Strangers though, naw.

No thankyou does NOT always suffice in my experience, but backpackers and expats be a crazy bunch.

I agree with you 100%. It's nobody's business.... I seen nothing wrong with it.
I think each person has to do whatever it takes to maintain their soberity, and if that is what works for you Kinzoku, more power to you.

I tried to remember that I don't owe anyone an explanation.

I don't explain to casual acquaintances. I also don't like breeching my integrity by BSing someone for no reason.

Part of my new sober life is knowing what is good for me and what isn't. Lying is a very slippery slope for me. It doesn't affect the casual acquaintance, but it affects me. No means no. No explanation needed.

I think it's brilliant. I'm going to borrow it. Agreed that it's no one's business but yours, and whatever gets them off your back.

For me it rarely even comes up as a topic of conversation. Certainly people will ask me sometimes if I'd like a drink and I usually just ask for a water or something else and that's the end of it. On the rare occasion that I've been asked why I don't drink I just say because I choose not to, and no further explanation is needed.

I have actually had some health issues in the past few months, so I have just said I am no longer drinking to have a healthier lifestyle, which actually is the truth.

What Anna has said here sums it up for me. Its no ones business. I personally found that a duplicitous nature was connected to my drinking. Hiding it or mitigating its effects from family friends even myself became second nature for me. That's why for me, not that it has to be this way for anyone else, I have to try to be as honest as I can as much as I can because lying was strongly connected to my drinking. But you know saying you don't drink due to medical reasons is a good thing to tell people and its also true. Keep it up. You don't have to answer to anyone else. My best. John

I just say I don't drink

I'm with you kinzoku some close friends know the real reason why I don't drink but there's no need to tell random people or acquaintances.

I just say, "It doesn't agree with me". No big deal and totally the truth.

I reckon my cousin's doing the same.

Fair enough. Whatever keeps you sober I suppose - you're honest with yourself, and have been honest with your nearest and dearest.

If thats whats comfortable for you, go for it.

I was like Anna tho - lying & making up stuff was so much a part of my old life I had to strike out a new way in recovery.

If you're hanging around people for whom 'no thank you' is not enough then maybe you be hanging around the wrong crowd, Kinzoku?

D

That!
I have yet to be asked why I don't drink. It could be because I socialize with a more mature crowd and with people who tend to mind their own business or simply that I don't hang out with heavy drinkers in places or at events which center around getting intoxicated.

It is not something I need to worry about because for the most part I don't go to places where people are drinking. I just don't like to be around alcohol and people that are drinking

I get asked a lot and blame fitness/health. I just mentioned that in another response elsewhere but I found that the "honesty" was helping everyone else but me. Not a subject I want to talk about and no one is owed any more explanation. Do what's good for you and don't worry about anyone else.

If I refuse the offer of a drink, and am asked why not, I ask them if it bothers them that I don't drink. :) They usually don't have an answer to that so they let it go. :)