erfra, it takes time. I would not talk to her for a while until you are feeling stronger. Talking to her is just going to cause you to be confused again.

The way I see it I did nothing wrong I only want to be friends I respect her and admire her trust her with my stuff (emotional) I know it just bye, like I did no matter at all after 2 years and 7 months I'm trying very hard to let her go. It took me 2 years to let go of my ex wife and I love her with all my being but at that time I have alcohol to drown the demons in me, and my ex give the gift to open my eyes for a second, now I'm making leaving amends to her by being sober and drugs free one day at the time.

Hi erfra - no you did nothing wrong - but it's a very difficult situation when you have feelings for her, and she for you, and she's married.

Some things you need to walk away from.

I agree with Bim that talking with her may not be a good thing for either of you right now, even if in some way it makes you feel better.

That kind of complication was what my life was all about when I was drinking.
I want better than that now - and so should you :)

D

Bravo to you Efra...reaching out here in your pain. I know the loss of a friend...especially one you feel you love must feel almost visceral in scope. I really can't applaud you enough for reaching out here...as "this" is a healthy coping mechanism rather than picking up.

I do not wish to sound trite, but it you met one friend, you can certainly meet another...as long as you keep reaching out rather than smothering (or drowning) feelings within...you will find hands to hold onto.

Bright blessings friend....

You know what guys/gals God give me a gift a good friend now I go it keep walking this new journey on my own she keep walking hers but for a brief moment it was fantastic to walk together. My HP is looking after me after all, in this cyberspace yo help me to stay strong and for that I'm so grateful. To all of you. Love and hugs E. J. FRANCO

Fantastic perspective, erfra.

Still feel Iike so.... I really think is I die every thing will be better

erfra. :hug:

We've all lost someone we love. It's going to be okay. Don't spend so much time thinking about it - instead get busy helping someone else. It's not good to be thinking that the solution is death.

Can you go to a meeting and talk to someone, or get some counselling?

Thank you for the support and concerns. I'm going to counseling tomorrow after work. She knows me from before. I working in getting better I'm talking to 2 people I went to a meeting last night oh and my another friend she text me this morning thinking that I need help please don't give up on me I'm working on not to give up on myself.

Erfra, We don't give up on our own.

Big ole hug.

We are trying to lift you up. I understand that this is not an easy thing to let go of but it not healthy the way you are feeling. You are doing so good in your sobriety but it takes a lot of time to heal. Relationships can muddle ones thinking sometimes. Take care of just you for now. You are so worth it. Tomorrows will be better. Have patience. Keep doing what you're doing............. meetings, counseling, coming here. We are with you!

Give up on erfra???????

Never.

We are with you all the way. Time and prayer will heal your sadness and fear.

Efra,

Dont do it.

Please.

please read through the readings on these links - and take note of a crisis number or two - there is always help.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

Things will not always be this way...they will get better.

D

Efra, I have felt like you over the loss of love's potential lustre, many times. It is truly difficult. I know that for me part of the darkness is the things I tell myself regarding love's rejection. I know I somehow make it about me....and I know my self pity and despair is the very place the heart of my addictions also roost. Although you have indeed suffered a tangible loss, I think it is the story we tell ourselves...that we invest so much into...that possessing whatever it is outside ourself (e.g. the love and life with another person) is the answer to it all...the keeper of our happiness and well being somehow...

It isn't. You are in fact the keeper of your well being. Investing so wholeheartedly in an unavailable love is actually the sign of someone not actually ready for all that love actually demands.

When we want what we want to the detriment to ourselves and others....it looks a lot more like addiction than love. Nevertheless, withdrawal from addiction can be a painful and self pitying process.... I've been there.....more times than I would like to confess too...

I am the former queen of getting attached to the emotionally unavailable... in truth, I am the queen of illusion...the relationships in my head rather than the everyday, sometimes rather pedestrian and undramatic, work of living your life alongside another.

Please stay with us...we understand...and we care.

Efra,

You okay?

I will work on my ego and pride

I'm not giving up on you ever. :hug:

I know you can do it. You are tough and someone I see a lot of strength in. :hug:

Hi erfra - just seeing this thread and wanted to offer you a big ole hug.

Dee is right; some things we just HAVE to walk away from. Although this can be painful just know in the long run you will come out so much stronger. You are stronger than you think you are hun! Keep trudging forward!!

Good morning, Erfra.

Wishing you a GOOD day. Meditation and prayer keep us from any temptation.

Light and Love,
Kris

good morning
I learn this past weekend that my ego and pride gets hurt, it will turn on you, it will tell you stories in your head that are not true, egoism is one of the major offenders in destroying relationships of any kind and in me is worst it tell me that drinking is ok that suicide is good. it tells me that everyone else have a better life than I do, somebody mentioned in a AA meeting this old timer talk of her experience and what ego and pride can do to you, that open my mind to research it on google, it is not easy to let go of or may never leave me, but knowing about I will figure how to work on in, like praying and talking to God,
sharing at a AAmeeting , talking to a good friend, or here or counsellor.