OT Grief Dreams
 

This whole learning how to deal with grief sober has some interesting twists. Since my daughter's death I have had grief dreams. These are dreams where the full impact of her loss is felt. In the dreams there is uncomfortable sobbing and pain.

The first few of these totally toasted me emotionally but now I see them as a safety valve.

People more or less expect you to be OK
You look normal and act normal so you must be normal. Unfortunately this is not remotely the case. It is sort of like trying to act normal when you are drunk.

In order to be "kind of" on the planet you have to stuff the grief away. I see now that while the dreams are very painful they are a necessary part of healing and provide a release that can't be done in normal life.

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

I'm sorry for your ongoing pain but I'm inspired by your drive to help others MIR :hug:

D

I've had those dreams. Thank you for your perspective on them. It makes sense.

:hug:

I've had those dreams as well, although I've never lost a child, I'm so sorry, many good thoughts your way!

I had those dreams after my dad died. To be more accurate I still do but it's been awhile since the last one. They can feel so real at the time and pack a shockingly devastating emotional punch. But I think you're right...they're part of the process of grieving, and by extension the process of living.:grouphug:

:grouphug:

Sorry you have to go through that heartache MIR!! :hug:

I'm so sorry for your pain, MIR.

The thing I find profound throughout this nightmare is the growth I've experienced. When drinking is no longer an option you have no other way but to deal with things when life takes a crap on you. You find things that work and things that don't but you grow

Thanks for sharing this, MIR, and I'm sorry for your pain.

I had grief dreams after a very painful divorce some years ago, very similar to how you describe. The full pain and loss of it would be felt in the dream .. very uncomfortable. But I agree it is part of the healing process, as the mind works it way through the pain. These continued for awhile for me, but gradually got less intense over time. I still have an occasional grief dream ... and I'm ok with that. If one loves deeply, it would make sense that while the pain of loss will ease with time, I will still remember it.