Notices

OT Grief Dreams

Old 01-06-2016, 06:47 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
OT Grief Dreams

This whole learning how to deal with grief sober has some interesting twists. Since my daughter's death I have had grief dreams. These are dreams where the full impact of her loss is felt. In the dreams there is uncomfortable sobbing and pain.

The first few of these totally toasted me emotionally but now I see them as a safety valve.

People more or less expect you to be OK
You look normal and act normal so you must be normal. Unfortunately this is not remotely the case. It is sort of like trying to act normal when you are drunk.

In order to be "kind of" on the planet you have to stuff the grief away. I see now that while the dreams are very painful they are a necessary part of healing and provide a release that can't be done in normal life.
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 01-06-2016, 07:32 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,021
I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how difficult that must be.
Delilah1 is offline  
Old 01-06-2016, 07:37 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,044
I'm sorry for your ongoing pain but I'm inspired by your drive to help others MIR

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-06-2016, 07:48 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
now's the time
 
fantail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I've had those dreams. Thank you for your perspective on them. It makes sense.

fantail is offline  
Old 01-06-2016, 08:07 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
lilgolden73's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Somewhere in the sands of time
Posts: 1,462
I've had those dreams as well, although I've never lost a child, I'm so sorry, many good thoughts your way!
lilgolden73 is offline  
Old 01-06-2016, 10:44 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,936
I had those dreams after my dad died. To be more accurate I still do but it's been awhile since the last one. They can feel so real at the time and pack a shockingly devastating emotional punch. But I think you're right...they're part of the process of grieving, and by extension the process of living.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 01-07-2016, 05:47 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 01-07-2016, 08:52 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Sorry you have to go through that heartache MIR!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 01-07-2016, 09:14 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Leshar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,960
I'm so sorry for your pain, MIR.
Leshar is offline  
Old 01-07-2016, 09:45 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
The thing I find profound throughout this nightmare is the growth I've experienced. When drinking is no longer an option you have no other way but to deal with things when life takes a crap on you. You find things that work and things that don't but you grow
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 01-07-2016, 11:51 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
tursiops999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,568
Thanks for sharing this, MIR, and I'm sorry for your pain.

I had grief dreams after a very painful divorce some years ago, very similar to how you describe. The full pain and loss of it would be felt in the dream .. very uncomfortable. But I agree it is part of the healing process, as the mind works it way through the pain. These continued for awhile for me, but gradually got less intense over time. I still have an occasional grief dream ... and I'm ok with that. If one loves deeply, it would make sense that while the pain of loss will ease with time, I will still remember it.
tursiops999 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:22 PM.