I'm trying to get out more. But I have to be careful where. I had a trigger at work yesterday. And I've been having a terrible time sleeping. Sometimes its only a couple hours a night. So yesterday I stopped by a drug store to try some melotonin. Totally forgot that they sell alcohol. Walked in turned up an isle looked up and there it was. Bottles everywhere. It was like a explorer finding the lost treasure.

I re called today that back in high school I had a heavy bag in the garage. When things were hard I would punch it for hours. So I ordered a bag wraps and gloves online. I wanted to get out of the house and buy locally but they didn't have what I needed to make it work in my spare room.

Hang in there Vendetta your doing great sorry about the pharmacy bud

Heavy bag training is a great stress relief

Today was awsome. Had a old timer from work come talk to me about how down and angry he was. Then he told me I had inspired him. I looked at him in that confused face and asked how. He said he and his wife were gonna take grand kids and go to church. On top of that my dad talked to me about accepting why my brother died and focusing on the future. And was honest about god in his life.

I'm glad it was a good day Vendetta :)

D

Vendetta, it strikes me from your posts yesterday that even though it was damaging for you, and that part is really terrible, it remains that you were there for your mother and sister when they needed you.

That means you have it in you. You just need to tap into that protective part of your personality, and use it to protect yourself this time. That's a strong instinct that can work for you. Someone vulnerable needs your help. And you're a person who comes through in those situations.