I was abused so now I'm abusive I don't know what to do about it.
 

I need some help I need some advice I am so angry and a horrible person all the time I'm always ready to fight it's ruining my life

I need not help anyone. I'm the problem.

(((( hug))))
Try to relax step, just focus on being positive and getting to know people by offering encouragement rather than having to be right and pushy
Xoxo

I am so sorry that you were abused, step; it is a horrific thing to experience.

We are here for you.

I think one thing you'll have to do to move forward is to forgive. That can be a very hard.

Step 12 , take a deep breathe stay calm and be still , you feel you were abused on this forum by members who did not agree with you offering to sponsor people , you ''allowed'' yourself to get ''upset '' and '' angry '' you need to learn to allow others to share '' what they think is right '' and learn to consider their viewpoint .

Best advice I have ever had was ( Imagine a table with two people sitting opposite each other , place a teacup on the table and ask one of the people to say ''which side is the handle on ? '' they will say it is on the right from where I am sitting . Ask the other person same question which side is the handle on ? they will say '' from where I am sitting it is on the right '' give others the benefit of the doubt , live and let live ) .

Step 10 every night followed by Step 11 every night , anger justified or not has no place in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous it is a learning program and we can start again anytime . Good luck big hug .

Stevie .

sobriety date march 2006 .

Hi step
I was abused too....many are. And neglected....think that was actually worse. You've done the steps right? Did that at least help you uncover where your resentments and anger lie? I have found that much of my angst (although I'm pretty mellow now) was directed at myself. And of course, through my drinking, I did a lot of things that made my self hatred grow. Oh and there's that self pity stuff. Totally useless if one wants to be happy.

Counseling. Group therapy with other abused. But truly? The deep desire to let it all go. At the end of the day, that is key. It's like quitting drinking, if one doesn't want it more than anything, all the support in the world will not work. It stops with me. I must not let my past control my present.

I know you've been wanting to help others, and you are by simply being here and sharing your story. Maybe before formally sponsoring others you should put all that passion into yourself.

I'm going to have to read the responses carefully when I have a minute because they look really good. My father drag me to a bar my whole youth started me drinking at about 12. Now he just called me stupid because I'm financially dependent upon him. My mother she neglected me and now she's trying to overcompensate and won't leave me alone. I'm gonna have to read through everything you guys said when my boyfriend's not around he by the way is who I verbally abuse.



He's pretty mean toO actually. A girl always pick somebody like their dad. Now I got to the point my life where I just ignore everything and then it spills into my life. I just ignore everything I don't drink at least

Yeah I think being on here for 10 minutes help me realize I have anger problems

I've tried to sponsor always wanted to and like I said in the beginning there were women in my group that were complete sponsoring hogs they wouldn't let anybody touch anything I two women then I was going to sponsor both of them died from the disease but not while they were with me I didn't stay no I could've helped them if they just have read the literature and listen to me. I'm not talking about AA by any means I need to just except some help as well as want to get it you're right

We're here for you Step 12. I wish you a successful day!
:Valdog:

For me my problems went a lot deeper than just drinking too 12step.

I was carrying around a lot of baggage and a lot of rage.

This community was wonderful for me to help me work out my problems and to start healing :)

There's a lot of wonderful people, help and support here :)

D

Maybe check out CoDa meetings and resources available to you (the handbook and workbook really helped me).

There are also some really good books that you can read on recovery and working on your Inner Child to find some peace from the past that torments you. I found Penny Parks' 'Rescuing the 'Inner Child' very helpful.

Things can get better. :)

that darn humility to reach out for help.....:dee
darn pride and ego get in the way. ive been sober a while, have put in tremendous work on me, and i shouldnt need help!
yeah, darn pride and ego.
imo, one thing that can bugger me about some members of the fellowship is the thinkig that when were all jacked up- when theres been emotional and mental scars from our life popping up or problems on the homefront -we need to work the steps,get out and help another alcoholic, or bury ourselves in service work.
and thats not true.
the big book even says it isnt a cure all for everythingand encourages us to seek outside help.

step, theres some sub forums here-friends and family- with some very excellent wisdom from personal experience. theyre a great group of folks and quite a few from both sides of the fence.

sooo, something i think ya should do:
throw out that arse kikin machine
go look in the mirror right at yourself-right into your own eyes- and tell yourself you love you
then head over to the friends and family forum. check out the stickies and maybe surf tnrougb threads.

for every problem there is a solution.
we have to seek them.
good on ya for reaching out!

Hi step,

Thank you for sharing, sorry about your situation.

There are many ways to share your esh. The big book step 12 does call us to service, but there are more ways to be of service than to sponsor per se. You can make coffee at meetings, chair for a month, etc. that's service. Coming on here and sharing in the hopes of helping others is good too.

Keep coming here, keep sharing. In focusing on yourself and your recovery, and being open, you will help others. When the time is right, and it's evident to someone that you have what they want, someone will come to you.

Attraction not promotion.

Good luck, thank you for sharing.

Hi 12step. Congratulations on 10 years sober. This site has been invaluable to me working out my issues long after the desire to drink passed. There are many wise people here who can lead to you great resources. This was shared with me when I needed it.

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brow...me?language=en

Wait - you've got 10 years sober and posting about your woes here? Get out of town!

Maybe work with your sponsor and get through those steps again

People that say "I'm abused" have some stuff to work out. Why don't you work that out with your professionals before subjecting the people on the board to this?

Maybe you shouldn't be posting in a newcomers forum if you've got ten years of sobriety! Just a thought.

Newcomers is open to all members of Sober Recovery. Let's be available to everyone for support.