Perhaps labels are important
 

I'm early in my recovery as most of us are on this forum. Certainly, before I committed to not ever drinking again, I had a bad case of denial. I think this is why I had such a difficult time labeling myself an alcoholic. I know some are having the same issue. We're told that labels really don't matter. Well, for me they did.

For me, an alcoholic is what I was in the past, not what I am now. It was an important part of my recovery to slap the label on myself. I had to look in the mirror, dig deep, and say, yes, I am an alcoholic. I had to own that ugly label like a dead albatross around my neck. This was a powerful moment for me. It was difficult to admit this to myself. It clarified the situation, and only then was I able to chart a plan for recovery.

An alcoholic to me, means someone who is unstable, unreliable, and out-of-control. This is someone who routinely gets drunk and can't stop drinking. This is someone who would be an embarrassment to my 3 children and wife. Yep, this was me in the past, but not now.

When people ask me why I don't drink I now tell them I'm a "Teetotaler." By definition, this is what I am. This label projects a responsible, strong-willed person who is a good example to his children. This is who I am now. The question then becomes why don't you drink? Yes, this was posed to me a few weeks ago at a dinner party. Why is it so difficult for people to understand some of us choose not to drink? Why do they need an explanation? Well, here's my pat response now:

"I don't drink because I don't want my kids to drink. I have a family history of alcoholism and I want to set a good example for my children "

I'm not a recovering alcoholic, and I certainly don't have any disease. Disease? No, it's a rational decision to drink. I'm in control. I will never drink again, and it's as simple as that. I refuse to hang any negative label on myself. God walked hand-in-hand with me through the valley of Hell these past few weeks, and I made it. I finally am the person I want to be. I no longer have to drown my sorrows or suffer bad self-esteem and drown in a bottle of poison.

Say what you will, but perhaps labels are important.

Thank you Frank

Great post Frank!!

I've definitely found being a "non drinker" to be a very straightforward way of moving forward, no announcements needed, no explanations needed for the most part.

Many people in the world don't drink, I only realised this when I got Sober, so now I'm just one of those people, for all anyone knows I've been teetotal for life, as I never get into the details or the backstory, I simply don't drink.

Keep it simple!! :)

Yep, I'm with PK on this one. I keep it simple... No thanks, I don't drink. 99% of the time, no one cares and it doesn't take any more explanation.

I had this debate with myself a few days ago and posted on here. I too feel like I have to accept the label before I can move on. It's a horrible label but that's the point .... because it's so horrible maybe it will motivate me to be different. Saying " oh I just like the wine a little too much" will not make me stop!!