Notices

Perhaps labels are important

Old 11-06-2015, 12:24 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Frank14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 319
Perhaps labels are important

I'm early in my recovery as most of us are on this forum. Certainly, before I committed to not ever drinking again, I had a bad case of denial. I think this is why I had such a difficult time labeling myself an alcoholic. I know some are having the same issue. We're told that labels really don't matter. Well, for me they did.

For me, an alcoholic is what I was in the past, not what I am now. It was an important part of my recovery to slap the label on myself. I had to look in the mirror, dig deep, and say, yes, I am an alcoholic. I had to own that ugly label like a dead albatross around my neck. This was a powerful moment for me. It was difficult to admit this to myself. It clarified the situation, and only then was I able to chart a plan for recovery.

An alcoholic to me, means someone who is unstable, unreliable, and out-of-control. This is someone who routinely gets drunk and can't stop drinking. This is someone who would be an embarrassment to my 3 children and wife. Yep, this was me in the past, but not now.

When people ask me why I don't drink I now tell them I'm a "Teetotaler." By definition, this is what I am. This label projects a responsible, strong-willed person who is a good example to his children. This is who I am now. The question then becomes why don't you drink? Yes, this was posed to me a few weeks ago at a dinner party. Why is it so difficult for people to understand some of us choose not to drink? Why do they need an explanation? Well, here's my pat response now:

"I don't drink because I don't want my kids to drink. I have a family history of alcoholism and I want to set a good example for my children "

I'm not a recovering alcoholic, and I certainly don't have any disease. Disease? No, it's a rational decision to drink. I'm in control. I will never drink again, and it's as simple as that. I refuse to hang any negative label on myself. God walked hand-in-hand with me through the valley of Hell these past few weeks, and I made it. I finally am the person I want to be. I no longer have to drown my sorrows or suffer bad self-esteem and drown in a bottle of poison.

Say what you will, but perhaps labels are important.
Frank14 is offline  
Old 11-06-2015, 12:51 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Thank you Frank
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 11-06-2015, 01:02 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Great post Frank!!

I've definitely found being a "non drinker" to be a very straightforward way of moving forward, no announcements needed, no explanations needed for the most part.

Many people in the world don't drink, I only realised this when I got Sober, so now I'm just one of those people, for all anyone knows I've been teetotal for life, as I never get into the details or the backstory, I simply don't drink.

Keep it simple!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 11-06-2015, 01:19 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
ccam1973's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Yep, I'm with PK on this one. I keep it simple... No thanks, I don't drink. 99% of the time, no one cares and it doesn't take any more explanation.
ccam1973 is offline  
Old 11-06-2015, 01:48 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 180
I had this debate with myself a few days ago and posted on here. I too feel like I have to accept the label before I can move on. It's a horrible label but that's the point .... because it's so horrible maybe it will motivate me to be different. Saying " oh I just like the wine a little too much" will not make me stop!!
adelina123 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:19 AM.