Don't bite my head off...
 

I was in the car with BF, he got a DUI. Since we had open containers, I got a ticket and was ordered to go to AA. I had one drink that night, he blew a .09. I don't want to go to AA, I have gone with many friends and family members over the years. Is there any way to find an example of a signed court card? It brings back bad memories...I got my aunt sober 5 years ago, and took my uncle who was dying to AA meetings. I rarely drink, and really it was a stupid ticket...any suggestions? Hiring an attorney is like 3k, so I don't want to fight the ticket.

Thanks

well... you don't want to go to AA - but you're ordered to.

SO... while you're there, open up and listen. See what it's all about. If nothing else, you get a free, first-hand education into what alcoholism is all about and how it impacts people.

As for the court card - I would suggest calling your county clerk's office and inquiring whether there is a standard form. Everyone I've seen in meetings has come with a document from the courts.

It is a court order, I would just do it and put it behind you. Not to be ugly about it, but this is probably not the best place to find someone willing to help you get a forged document indicating you went to AA meetings. My short experience with the good folks here is that they would encourage you to do the right thing- follow the court order, even if you have no issues with alcohol.

exactly.

also - you say it was a "stupid ticket".

But you had an open container in a motor vehicle.

That is against the law.

You were the one breaking the law.

The ticket is the natural consequence of that law-breaking decision.

If stupidity is involved.... it's not on the part of the ticket.

Hi CW best thing you can do is accept this situation I know you don't want to but by accepting that it's court order & will cause more problems if you don't go its really worth just complying the flip is you might just get something from it you might not but accepting makes it that bit easier :hug:

Not intending to be harsh, but blowing a 0.09 is way above the limit in most countries, put that together with potentially freely drinking in a vehicle and it's a pretty serious situation, what if you guys had of knocked someone down and had a death on your hands? . . . pretty reckless stuff, what were you guys thinking?

In my opinion the court order is bang on, there needs to be some acceptance and change on both your parts with regards your drinking, it only takes the once to kill someone, and for your life to be permanently affected by alcohol.

Change is possible though, acceptance of the problem is the first step!!

What a bizarre forum to choose to post this topic. Some type of DUI forum would be a far better place.

I'm against court ordered AA meetings, but only because I think AA should be reserved for people who have the desire to be there. Any mandated meetings should be offered by the state at the expense of the person required to go - kind of like defensive driving classes.

My brother was court ordered to AA even though he barely drinks, I have NEVER seen him drunk, on the other hand his girlfriend drinks a ton, they got in an argument, she said he's a drug addict and alcoholic ( he's not)
She said all this when she was drunk to the police, she has later tried to apologize to the court and our family, but the court is still making him go. Its a bit ironic because she's the alcoholic.
We still love her though.
Anyway, the court ordered him to AA, he actually really likes it, he says he's leanred a lot about addiction and he has more knowledge about alcoholism.

It won't kill you to go, if you guys were already drinking in the car and BF got a DUI, it's possible both of you should take a closer look at your drinking

Out of curiosity, what was your brother who barely drinks convicted of that part of the sentence was AA meeting attendance?

The open container was from a bag of cans...I have been to hundreds of meetings, and I always listen. I just don't want to go. I just wasn't sure if any of you knew where an example would be...

If you've been to hundreds of meetings, then another 8, or whatever, is not going to kill you, imo. Stop driving with bags of empty beer cans in your car. Even if no one had anything to drink, you'll still be cited in damn near every state.

You can ask to attend alternatives to AA. I heard SMART recovery do sign court slips too. I don't know if Al Anon does but I feel that's probably the place (if any) you should be mandated to.

Since you are not an alcoholic, you might want to take the alternative they gave you to meetings which is a couple of days in jail and put that mess behind you.
I ve been in jail before (for civil disobedience) and it's really not that bad. Only problem with that is that it will stay on your record and might make find decent employment or housing difficult in the future.

You made a bad decision when you got into a car with someone who was intoxicated and sometimes we have to pay the price for our mistakes. Be grateful that those are the only consequences (and something tells me that it 's not the first time you ve been in the car with him when he was drunk), you could have woken up in the ER.

Why would you think that just because this is a site for people recovering from alcoholism that it would be a clearinghouse for tools to scam your way out of fulfilling the court-ordered sentence?

This isn't the first time a poster has come on board seeking to skirt a court's decision re: alcohol-related driving offenses.

I find this offensive.

If you have truly been to hundred of meetings, then you wouldn't need to ask us how to fake an attendance slip because anyone who has been around AA for more than 5 minutes would know how to do it.
This is why btw, I am so against court mandated attendance.

It was years ago, I took my uncle who had cancer. He couldn't drive sometimes I would stay others I wouldn't. I didn't pay attention to what other were doing. I didn't even drink at that time.

And I am not trying to scam...I just don't want to go back and think of my uncle. I went to one last week and it was awful.

Like I said you have options. Mandatory attendance to a 12 step program has been deemed unconstitutional by some of the higher courts.
You can request to attend an alternative recovery support group such as SMART or you can put your big girl pants on and spend a few days in jail.

They were at a work function, his girlfriend got really wasted, so he left to get a taxi, he had her shoes ( she kept taking them off) and he had her purse because she kept leaving it everywhere.

Anyway, he ran into a friend outside and was chatting, she took off into the night while he was outside with no shoes and called the police and said that he stole her purse, then she left before the police arrived and went home.
she gave the police his name over the phone and said that he was really drunk and she was scared of him because he attacked her; he actually came to my house instead of going to their house because he didn't want to deal with it, I saw him, he wasn't drunk at all.
Then the police came to my house looking for him a few hours later at about 4 am.
They arrested him and took him to jail, but he wasn't charged because everyone at the party said he wasn't drunk and that he didn't attack her, she also said it wasn't true.
I'm not sure why he was ordered to AA and not her, I think instead of charging him they had to do something, so AA it was.
But he's not a closet alcoholic, he honestly rarely drinks.
And he wants her to AA, he said he'll even attend al anon on his own accord for her.

I'm not judging, I've been a maniac when wasted too, she's lovely sober.
This also isn't the first time something like this has happened with her drinking, she goes insane, this was just the first time the police got involved.

I agree it sucks for some cans.
Sometimes life is like that :(
Just gotta do what you gotta do xoxo

None of my business and sounds like water under the bridge, but I've never heard of a situation where someone wasn't charged with anything and then ordered by the court to do something like AA, community service, pay a fine, etc.

Thank you for sharing JS because I was going to post that choosing to stay with an alcoholic partner has consequences too. In my line of work, I have seen many people who did not drink or used end up homeless because they stayed with an addicted partner and many women have been arrested because of their drug dealing bf.
At the end, we all have to pay the piper and the main question whether it is about our drinking or the people we chose to be with should be:
Is it what I want in my life?

Alcochol is just one bad decision after another!!

I don't know the ins and outs of a court card, but doctoring one I'm sure comes with an even heftier penalty, don't let alcohol mess things up even more, you and I, have seen first hand not only through our own drinking but through that of a family member, for me it was my dad's alcoholism I got to see up close, how alcohol can be a train crash waiting to happen.

It was just lie after lie, misery after misery, don't give alcohol any more scope to cause any more consequences, take it on the chin, draw a line and move on with your life?!! :dunno

We're in Canada, so the person (victim) doesn't charge you, the state does ( so someone doesn't drop charges against you, its up to the court) so instead of a charge they often order other things like fines, AA, community service. It's up to the discretion of the court.
Canada is pretty good about not trying to ruin your life with a record if you're not a serial offender.
If you complete your requirements, then you don't get the record, if you fail to comply, then you'll be charged.
Of course it happens, but my experience is that the courts are usually quite fair, my brother is 46, has a very upscale job, and doesn't get into trouble, so I suppose they decided to give him a break.

My friend got really really drunk, spit on a police car, verbally abused the police, they arrested him, took him to jail, in the morning he went to court, the judge said because he'd never been in trouble before they wouldn't charge him, but he had to apologize to police department and pay a large fine.

And when I said "state" I meant the government, not a state like USA, I used to be a political science major so I'm used to saying state instead of gov, I sometimes confuse people when I say that :(

Yes exactly, it's like felony murder, even if you didn't pull the trigger, it doesn't mean you won't go down with that ship, you have to be careful not put yourself in situations where it's possible to be compromised.

You know - sometimes we learn lessons from the least likely places.
Sounds like you cared a lot from that Uncle of yours, and I'm betting that he wouldn't be overly made up about some of the choices (slippery people and slippery places) that you're allowing to affect your life right now. I bet he'd have some wisdom for you if you'd listen.

Sounds like it's not a choice (really) about the meetings, so you may as well go with an open mind rather than a closed one, and listen out for some of your uncles-like wisdom that I'm sure he'd be sending with love and gratitude to the niece that cared enough for him to take him to meetings.

I hope things get better for you soon.

I know of no examples sorry about your uncle :hug:

My best advice is accept the situation, you were in the veichle you knew your bf had a drink in him there was alcohol in the car & he was still drinking & driving you knew this CW

Accept the situation you wouldn't be in this situation if you wernt there you knew your bf was drunk & planning on driving & was still drinking while driving you might not want to go CW but it sounds as if it might benefit you & your bf as I don't think you see the full severity of the situation you two could of got a cab that night but didnt ?? not to mention there could of been a fatal accident.....has that crossed your mind I say this as a friend & not to attack you but I think this is a excellent wake up call

welp, heres my experience with court ordered aa attendance.
first, i was given a choice-2 meetings/wk for a year or time in jail. i absolutely didnt have to go to aa. it wasnt forced on me. i could have done the time.
i chose to go to aa.
but was still in denial that alcohol was a problem.
i went to the 2 meetings/wk for about 3 months.
then started buying signatures at the bar for a beer.

almost 30 days to the day of getting off of probation i found myself out of denial. i admitted alcohol was the comon denominator in all my problems.
and found myself in aa.
those meetings i went to while on probation planted a seed that gave me a place to go when i finally admitted alcohol was a problem and i wanted help.
ive not only been sober since. i have a great life and can live life on lifes terms.

i hope you at least face the consequences of your actions,attend the meetings, and listen.

p.s.
i think it was a blessing your uncle had you to take him to meetings.
maybe while your there you could open up and share how youre feeling and get some suggestions and the experiences of others.

Good story Tom. I'm curious, though, for a year of 2x meetings, how long was the jail option?

Also, what is buying signatures (I've never done AA) at the bar mean?

I ll let Tom tell you about that one but I have a friend in AA who back then when he was mandated just stole our home group stamp :lmao
Took him a few more years to finally see the light (on his own) and decide to stop destroying his life with drugs and alcohol.
Tomsteve has a point though, it can plant the seeds in and in the case of my friend, when he was ready he knew where he could go to get help (and no, he did not have to pay AA back for the stamp he stole :a043: although after 27+ years, all those dollars in the basket probably more than covered it)

6 months behind bars.

buy someone a beer for a signature.