day 1 yet again
 

So another day here again, more regrets, apologies to make to people... getting pretty tired of it to be fair. If nothing else I've proved YET AGAIN that I cannot drink in moderation

Hi upontheroof, you've faced the fact you can't drink in moderation. Jump back on the sober train, bring your tool box and start again.

There's no better lesson of your powerlessness over alcohol than a relapse. Take this and use it.

It's a good realisation to have upontheroof.
Now you can start working out what you need to stay sober :)

D

Now you know for sure. Time to get back in the game, you can do it.

The trick for me was realising that those thoughts were probably going to raise their head once again in the future, "things will be different this time, I can control my drinking this time, just 1 drink won't hurt"

In isolation my mind could convince me of anything, whereas having support built into my plan kept me focused on the task at hand, gave me a second opinion on things, when the only thing doing the talking was my addiction, I needed something to short circuit my own thoughts.

Tweak your plan and go at things again!! You can do this!! :)

Brush yourself off, and back on the horse. :)

I struggle with the "make a plan" bit, beyond not drinking I'm not sure what my options are. I wouldn't be very good at group stuff and I don't think AA is a big thing in my area anyway

The next time I feel like drinking I will _____________ instead.

Fill in the blank with something you like to do. Then, when the next urge hits you - and you know it will - you have a plan.

That is the sound of your AV telling you that drinking is your only option. There are plenty of alternatives to AA. I've been using a combination of SMART (which is basically cognitive behavioural therapy) and posting here.

It might be worth doing a bit of research to see what fits you best.

B

Well, now you definitely know that you can't drink in moderation. Only solution: permanent sobriety. I'm at day 27 and I can tell you, it ain't all that bad. :) To say the least. Life without alcohol can be quite wonderful once you get used to it. And that doesn't have to take long.

Your not alone in them thoughts . I was always trying ways around it . Well maybe just weekends , Oh I know just a few here & there :(
I totaled 2 cars & walked away . Wow I made it - I can drink some more ...
Abstinence (my opinion ) only way to cure this disease . Keep working those Triggers - persons , places & things . Stick to that plan your half way there :)