I really wanted to get drunk.. I didn't
 

I stuffed up at work. Nothing major really, but my bosses are feeling red faced and worried about impact on them.

It started to play on my mind and I left the house to get 2 bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka.

I drove and parked up. I convinced myself to drive home again. I got halfway home and I turned around, drive back to bottle shop and parked up.

I got out of the car and stood beside it in the pouring rain. I got back in the car. Sat there. Read some of my posts and let a big sigh and drove home. All the way home this time.

It occurred to me that I was acting like a crazy person and really best thing was to go home and sleep on it. Closest call in a long time.
I didn't just want a drink I wanted total annihilation. I think that's what makes me a problem drinker.

I'm really glad youdidn'tTrees :)

D

Glad you made the decision to not take that first drink. Close call or not, you're still sober. Very proud of you for giving yourself that "pause" to really think about what you were about to do. Stay close. We're here for times just like this.

You will be so relieved when you wake up tomorrow morning and know you didn't drink. Good job on saying absolutely not to your AV. Alcohol would give a 5 second relief (maybe) once it hit your blood stream and from there it would all be down hill. Are those 5 seconds of relief worth being miserable for the better part of tomorrow? I once heard that "alcohol steals tomorrow's happiness." This is so true.

Trees, it made me feel good reading your post this morning as I too had a rough night last night as my heart was really hurting. I rearranged my living room furniture and tried to keep myself busy until I dozed off to sleep with the tv on. I knew in my heart that drinking wouldn't really help the problem. Good for you for staying strong.

Thanks, Trees, for sharing this.

You have saved not just yourself but others who will read this.

If/when I ever get close to the bottle store pull again, I shall think of your post.

Of you standing there in the rain. Then getting back in the car.

Powerful.

Cunning, baffling, and powerful and I would add patient

I'm glad you worked through it Trees. Great job!

Great job Trees.

So glad you toughed it out and came home empty handed!

Well done.

Oh, Trees, I hope you're doing better today. Great work fighting the urge. I know it hurt. I've done that myself. Peaceful thoughts to you.

I've posted this before, but I believe that *moment* between reaction and the drink is where recovery happens. Sometimes it's a few minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes a few drives back and forth from home to bottle store.

Well done.

For me, that's the God moment.

You done amazing Trees

Well done. I am new to this site, but I'm massively impressed that you stepped back like that. Next time I experience one of my 'triggers', I shall think of you. I now realise that you can stop yourself, and falling off the wagon is not inevitable

Well done, you really fought some very strong impulses. Congratulations!! You will be stronger if they hit next time. You now know what a potential trigger is for you and can work out a plan to deal with it.

Fair play to you,

B

Beautiful Trees! It's getting over those moments that's important. I still have them too. It gets easier to move along out of them. :)

That shows some backbone right there. Fantastic!

Well done trees! That's the way we do it! :hug:

Good job trees!