I really wanted to get drunk.. I didn't
I really wanted to get drunk.. I didn't
I stuffed up at work. Nothing major really, but my bosses are feeling red faced and worried about impact on them.
It started to play on my mind and I left the house to get 2 bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka.
I drove and parked up. I convinced myself to drive home again. I got halfway home and I turned around, drive back to bottle shop and parked up.
I got out of the car and stood beside it in the pouring rain. I got back in the car. Sat there. Read some of my posts and let a big sigh and drove home. All the way home this time.
It occurred to me that I was acting like a crazy person and really best thing was to go home and sleep on it. Closest call in a long time.
I didn't just want a drink I wanted total annihilation. I think that's what makes me a problem drinker.
It started to play on my mind and I left the house to get 2 bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka.
I drove and parked up. I convinced myself to drive home again. I got halfway home and I turned around, drive back to bottle shop and parked up.
I got out of the car and stood beside it in the pouring rain. I got back in the car. Sat there. Read some of my posts and let a big sigh and drove home. All the way home this time.
It occurred to me that I was acting like a crazy person and really best thing was to go home and sleep on it. Closest call in a long time.
I didn't just want a drink I wanted total annihilation. I think that's what makes me a problem drinker.
Glad you made the decision to not take that first drink. Close call or not, you're still sober. Very proud of you for giving yourself that "pause" to really think about what you were about to do. Stay close. We're here for times just like this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
You will be so relieved when you wake up tomorrow morning and know you didn't drink. Good job on saying absolutely not to your AV. Alcohol would give a 5 second relief (maybe) once it hit your blood stream and from there it would all be down hill. Are those 5 seconds of relief worth being miserable for the better part of tomorrow? I once heard that "alcohol steals tomorrow's happiness." This is so true.
Trees, it made me feel good reading your post this morning as I too had a rough night last night as my heart was really hurting. I rearranged my living room furniture and tried to keep myself busy until I dozed off to sleep with the tv on. I knew in my heart that drinking wouldn't really help the problem. Good for you for staying strong.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Thanks, Trees, for sharing this.
You have saved not just yourself but others who will read this.
If/when I ever get close to the bottle store pull again, I shall think of your post.
Of you standing there in the rain. Then getting back in the car.
Powerful.
You have saved not just yourself but others who will read this.
If/when I ever get close to the bottle store pull again, I shall think of your post.
Of you standing there in the rain. Then getting back in the car.
Powerful.
I've posted this before, but I believe that *moment* between reaction and the drink is where recovery happens. Sometimes it's a few minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes a few drives back and forth from home to bottle store.
Well done.
For me, that's the God moment.
Well done.
For me, that's the God moment.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Whitley Bay, tyne and wear
Posts: 20
Well done. I am new to this site, but I'm massively impressed that you stepped back like that. Next time I experience one of my 'triggers', I shall think of you. I now realise that you can stop yourself, and falling off the wagon is not inevitable
Well done, you really fought some very strong impulses. Congratulations!! You will be stronger if they hit next time. You now know what a potential trigger is for you and can work out a plan to deal with it.
Fair play to you,
B
Fair play to you,
B
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