Hey everyone. Long story as short as I can... I gave up drinking forever on April 16th. On May 15th a beer and food festival occurred I was excited about. I worked for a week or so prior to convince my 7 months pregnant wife and myself that I could handle drinking again. I have been on a binge since then. I have given up drinking 5-6 times since then and failed. This has made me sad in many ways. I have a new baby boy at home, less than a month old. I rode my bicycle home tonight, drunk, 4 miles after a concert. I cannot drink anymore. Ever. My wife suspects that my drinking is over, she keeps asking tonight after I got home if we need to "talk" tomorrow. That boy doesn't deserve an actively alcoholic father. I am done drinking forever. For real. And I need your support.

I'm not a father but I would imagine a new baby is one of the best incentives there is to not drink.

Tons of support here Beeraholic.

Have you any ideas on a plan - something you could use and refer to - so that this really can be your final turning point?

D

You're right, your son and wife don't deserve an actively drinking alcoholic father and husband.
It's up to you. You've got one of the best reasons I can think of to stop drinking.
You also have to do it for yourself. It's your life and you are responsible for yourself first and fore most.
I don't think of quitting forever. I've got four years sober and I still can't handle forever.
I'm going to try and not drink today. I was a bad alcoholic, so there are no guaranties. I have no control once I start drinking, but if I don't take the first one I won't get drunk.

Your family needs the sober you. They deserve, and so do you.
Stop the binge and realize how much you have to lose, and take my word for it, if you keep drinking you could lose it all. I did.
I wish you the best, and remember, you don't have to drink today. One day at a time.

We are here for you. Your baby and wife deserve more. YOU deserve more. You don't want to miss out on special moments with your son because you are too drunk to notice or care. You can do this.

Time for a change, Beeraholic! You'll find lots of support here at SR.

I agree your wife and son don't deserve an active alcoholic that will only cause more and more problems. I'm very glad to read ya seeing this now and not in 15-20 years.
I hope you make getting sober for yourself. Yup, good to do it for your son and wife but its been demonstrated over and over that a person becomes sober when they do it for themself and themself alone. Many times demonstrated on here MANY poeple stopped drinking for this,that, and the other only to end up drunk again and worse off than before.
We can only be so supportive here. There's going to be footwork on your part- changes to be made in thinking and actions. Lots of good sobriety here to offer suggestions so please ask before ya drink. Too many poeple wait til afterwards.
There's also f2f support ya may want to look into. Great thing for me personally. Helped me greatly.

So whatever you were doing these 5 or 6 times, it wasn't working. So as others have mentioned, find the help and support you need. Stop repeating what leads to failure.

Beeraholic, sounds like a good time to come up with a plan. I'll tell you from experience, you will be happier if you quit now than wait days, months or years to get better.

I waited until my oldest was 8 before really trying to quit. I'm just over a year sober now and it's been the best year since my kids were born. The quality of my time with them has improved, I'm not tired all of the time, I don't plan every waking moment around my drinking, no more unprovoked arguments just because I was in an alcohol induced fog... you get the picture.

Bottom line is don't do what I did and wait years before you truly quit. I can't remember most of the last 21 years much less the first 8 of my son's life.

You can do this and you won't regret the decision, I promise you that.

What's your plan. I didn't realize it in the beginning, but you've got to come up with a plan. Come up with how you will react when presented with drinking opportunities, how you will react to your mind telling you it is ok to just have one drink tonight, you deserve it, a plan to stay sober today. One day at a time.

It's a tough journey, but so worth every ounce of effort you put in. Use the strength behind this community. It really helped me in the early days to be as active as I could, even if that meant just reading up on old posts. It helps to know you aren't alone.

Lean on us as much as you need.

I'm sure you want to be present as a father and husband, and currently you are not. Don't become another statistic. But I also believe that ultimately even your wife and child won't be enough, it has to come from within. I wish you the very best.

I hope you find the support you need to stay sober for good. :)

You can do this! It is much harder to do once kids get older and you can see their withdraw and disappointment. It is best to keep your confidence in your ability to quit. You have got this!
I understand the struggle. I have quit and relapsed so many times. Today is my day one as well. You are not in this fight alone!

My wife suspects that my drinking is over, she keeps asking tonight after I got home if we need to "talk" tomorrow.

If my wife ever wanted to "talk" with me after I came home drunk I would know I'm screwed.

I have many years of experience as a father and I'm a rather astute observer of people. Prepare yourself.

In this situation, a wife may very well say, stop drinking now, or the baby and I are leaving. The maternal instinct is a powerful thing, and a woman may well think that the safety and well-being of her baby, are more important then being married to a drunk. Often, with the birth of a child, the husband suddenly finds himself in second place when it comes to a woman's priorities.

Since you haven't been able to quit the past few months with what you are currently doing, maybe it's time for something radical like an AA meeting. Taking action like that (instead of just talking about how you are going to quit) may be the "good faith" effort your wife needs to see.

Good Luck!

Thanks for this post.

How are you doing beeraholic?

Hope you're doing alright Beeraholic!! :)