Scared Straight this time?
 

I don't know what else to say. I spent 60.00 and drank all weekend. I hate myself more than I ever thought I could. I'm stupid and insane.
I've been sick for 2 days, missed work, and just praying my daughter didn't notice. It takes so much for me to even get a buzz anymore...I can drink and family either doesn't notice (don't act like they do), or they know and just figure there's no use in saying anything because I'll just lie. I cannot go to inpatient rehab - I have a big job and no money and I would pobably lose it.
So...drinking is dumb, I am dumb and I'm back. I want to do this the right way this time. I am going to exercise and see a counselor. I just have to...or it will be too late.
I drank 7 pints of vodka over 3 days - I did eat. I hope I haven't done any permanent damage.
And you know...as I'm reading this, it sounds just like many of the other posts on here.
I think I've been scared straight but doesn't last long. This has to be permanent.

Welcome, why don't you join the July sober thread. Quite a few people have joined in just the last hour alone.
I wish you all the luck in the world.

Welcome!

It sounds like you have motivation to stop drinking and that's important.

You're not stupid, dumb, or insane. I've done all those things. Your family probably does know. I always thought I was fooling people.

Once I accepted that I couldn't ever have just one drink without wanting many many more, it was easier to quit. One day at a time. I needed support and accountability. I posted and read a lot here. I attend AA meetings. In the beginning I joined the daily support threads. Don't call yourself names. Doesn't help. Don't think about it. Do something about it.

I used to feel like I was hopeless too. But I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and now I've been sober over five years. You can do this. Believe in yourself. :hug:

Sorry to be a thief Ruby, but what you said above I agree with 100%.

Glad you're back in. When are you going to see the counselor? Do you already have a definite appointment? Have you been to this counselor before?

There is a better life out there for you. One day at a time. One step at a time.

It will get better and the sooner you take action on the things you mentioned doing you will get to experience "the better"! When I feel like you ("stupid, insane etc...) the only way I can find out of it is to stop isolating and follow the suggestions of others. Good news is that you've already started because you posted today.

Okay, you can't go in patient. But there are out patient programs. There's AA, Celebrate Recovery, SMART Recovery. I am just concerned that with the struggles you've had to get sober that exercise and counseling might be insufficient.

Hope I'm wrong. Hope your determination carries you.

You can do this!! :)

hi not2late :)

I think it's best to focus on what you can do rather than what you can't.

I think you'll probably have to step out of your comfort zone a little but if you're serious about change that shouldn't worry you too much.

Carl has some great suggestions.

D

I know this story.. Hating myself spending hard earned money, hoping my young daughter didn't notice my behavior... I wanted to out run the hangover so I thought "why not have another one". It's all a really nasty feeling isn't it!?!?!?!

The more time you get behind you the better! I'm 138 days and loving it! Not saying everyday is easy, some days you are hard but not regrets now. My daughter is 5 and we have been doing a ton of fun stuff this summer that I wouldn't have felt like doing hungover :)

We're here off you!