Blogs


Notices

Scared Straight this time?

Old 06-30-2015, 10:05 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
not2late's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA Virginia
Posts: 294
Scared Straight this time?

I don't know what else to say. I spent 60.00 and drank all weekend. I hate myself more than I ever thought I could. I'm stupid and insane.
I've been sick for 2 days, missed work, and just praying my daughter didn't notice. It takes so much for me to even get a buzz anymore...I can drink and family either doesn't notice (don't act like they do), or they know and just figure there's no use in saying anything because I'll just lie. I cannot go to inpatient rehab - I have a big job and no money and I would pobably lose it.
So...drinking is dumb, I am dumb and I'm back. I want to do this the right way this time. I am going to exercise and see a counselor. I just have to...or it will be too late.
I drank 7 pints of vodka over 3 days - I did eat. I hope I haven't done any permanent damage.
And you know...as I'm reading this, it sounds just like many of the other posts on here.
I think I've been scared straight but doesn't last long. This has to be permanent.
not2late is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to not2late For This Useful Post:
AnonSara (06-30-2015), chicory (06-30-2015), Notimetoloose (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 10:09 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Keeping it in the day's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sussex UK
Posts: 112
Welcome, why don't you join the July sober thread. Quite a few people have joined in just the last hour alone.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Keeping it in the day is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Keeping it in the day For This Useful Post:
chicory (06-30-2015), Dee74 (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 10:22 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 53,929
Welcome!

It sounds like you have motivation to stop drinking and that's important.
Anna is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 10:28 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
You're not stupid, dumb, or insane. I've done all those things. Your family probably does know. I always thought I was fooling people.

Once I accepted that I couldn't ever have just one drink without wanting many many more, it was easier to quit. One day at a time. I needed support and accountability. I posted and read a lot here. I attend AA meetings. In the beginning I joined the daily support threads. Don't call yourself names. Doesn't help. Don't think about it. Do something about it.
Ruby2 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Ruby2 For This Useful Post:
Carla71 (06-30-2015), CaseyW (06-30-2015), Debbie329 (06-30-2015), Dee74 (06-30-2015), EndGameNYC (06-30-2015), Surrender2win (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 10:47 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 85,354
Blog Entries: 32
I used to feel like I was hopeless too. But I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and now I've been sober over five years. You can do this. Believe in yourself.
least is online now  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Carla71 (06-30-2015), chicory (06-30-2015), Dee74 (06-30-2015), Soberween (06-30-2015), Surrender2win (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 10:49 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,561
Originally Posted by Ruby2 View Post
You're not stupid, dumb, or insane. Don't call yourself names. Doesn't help. Don't think about it. Do something about it.
Sorry to be a thief Ruby, but what you said above I agree with 100%.
thomas11 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
chicory (06-30-2015), Dee74 (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 10:52 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Re-Member
 
CaseyW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,901
Glad you're back in. When are you going to see the counselor? Do you already have a definite appointment? Have you been to this counselor before?

There is a better life out there for you. One day at a time. One step at a time.
CaseyW is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to CaseyW For This Useful Post:
AnonSara (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 11:00 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 106
It will get better and the sooner you take action on the things you mentioned doing you will get to experience "the better"! When I feel like you ("stupid, insane etc...) the only way I can find out of it is to stop isolating and follow the suggestions of others. Good news is that you've already started because you posted today.
AnonSara is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to AnonSara For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 11:45 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,573
Blog Entries: 22
Originally Posted by not2late View Post
I cannot go to inpatient rehab - I have a big job and no money and I would pobably lose it.
Okay, you can't go in patient. But there are out patient programs. There's AA, Celebrate Recovery, SMART Recovery. I am just concerned that with the struggles you've had to get sober that exercise and counseling might be insufficient.

Hope I'm wrong. Hope your determination carries you.
doggonecarl is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
Carla71 (06-30-2015), Dee74 (06-30-2015), thomas11 (06-30-2015), tomsteve (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 02:46 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,855
You can do this!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
AnonSara (06-30-2015)
Old 06-30-2015, 03:31 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,513
Blog Entries: 1
hi not2late

I think it's best to focus on what you can do rather than what you can't.

I think you'll probably have to step out of your comfort zone a little but if you're serious about change that shouldn't worry you too much.

Carl has some great suggestions.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 06-30-2015, 03:49 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Alynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,515
I know this story.. Hating myself spending hard earned money, hoping my young daughter didn't notice my behavior... I wanted to out run the hangover so I thought "why not have another one". It's all a really nasty feeling isn't it!?!?!?!

The more time you get behind you the better! I'm 138 days and loving it! Not saying everyday is easy, some days you are hard but not regrets now. My daughter is 5 and we have been doing a ton of fun stuff this summer that I wouldn't have felt like doing hungover

We're here off you!
Alynn is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:34 PM.