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Anyone else a daily liquor store patron? Did anyone else find themselves going to the liquor store every single day, instead of just loading up on a week, or so's worth of booze? I was the every day type of person. I think I subconsciously thought every bottle would be my last, but it never was. It's just, looking back, I'm trying to figure out what I was thinking. At no point did I just buy two, or three bottles, unless there was a civic holiday coming up or something. It was just constant anxiety, like, "Oh crap. The liquor store's going to close in half an hour, have to get there on time." And if the local store was closed, I'd drive halfway across town to the one that was open later. Anyway, here are some song lyrics I like. They remind me of what my life was like as an addict, just being alone every night with my demons, and having only one escape. And one day I looked in the mirror, and I didn't even recognize myself. I just saw this stranger looking back at me. That's one of the worst feelings. Over and over Ruling my mind A veil for depression A fix for my eyes Out of the city Into the house Up through my hallway To force itself To force itself down Down in the night It's taking me Down in the night It's keeping me Down in the night It's here with me Down in the night And I want it all Older and older Fooled more than twice Used up my chances Ruined my life Never a reason No one around Nothing can stop me From drinking it From drinking it down I don't mean to be depressing, I just think it's useful to get this stuff out. I never went to AA, or anything. I think I was just constantly trying to break out of my crippling depression, because I still had some kind of will to live left buried under the flesh somewhere. Then I woke up 1.5 years later and decided to break the cycle. I don't know what I'm asking for really. Just something to relate to. |
I would buy on a daily or every other day basis. At rotating stores, of course. The worst thing was when we went from State controlled liquor stores to every store selling it. That coincided with a spike in my hard alcohol drinking. I think I figured if I had to go to the store I'd drink less - so one bottle at a time. When I got to handles, I was drinking waaaaaay too much :( Yeah, write about your thoughts, it helps us all - and hopefully you. Thanks for your post. |
Every day liquor store I went daily because I knew if I bought large quantities at one time I'd drink it all. So if I went daily and bought smaller quantities I was in control. Lol. But then after I finished I then just go to my local watering hole around the corner anyway. It's funny how we justify things in our heads. And I wrote in a journal alot in the early sobriety days. Helps. I do some AA, some Celebrate Recovery, but alot of church prayer and Bible. I've been sober 16 months and am amazed that I have accomplished this day to day task and how much better my life has improved. |
Naw, weekly trips to the liquor store, here. There were 4 liquor stores that I used to rotate and I didn't feel bad about buying a whole lot of booze once a month at each of them. Although in hindsight, just that one trip a month would have still been an awful lot for a normie to be buying. |
I was a daily purchaser but would try to avoid the liquor store because they were always more expensive. I would generally try to buy from Walmart or CVS and never run out on a Sunday. |
I bought only a bottle or two of wine at a time, because I would drink less that way. Sad but true. I bought alcohol every three days or so. |
Originally Posted by biminiblue
(Post 5444797)
I would buy on a daily or every other day basis. At rotating stores, of course. The worst thing was when we went from State controlled liquor stores to every store selling it. That coincided with a spike in my hard alcohol drinking. I think I figured if I had to go to the store I'd drink less - so one bottle at a time. When I got to handles, I was drinking waaaaaay too much :( Yeah, write about your thoughts, it helps us all - and hopefully you. Thanks for your post. Geez Bim, did you have to steal my thunder? My behavior was identical. A handle every two days was pretty normal. What's revealing is that I first wrote "my experience was identical". I realized that was wrong. "My behavior..." is truthful. |
I stocked up heavy at home and bought at liquor stores as I drove around town. Never really without. Once at around 7AM at a liquor store buying a 6 or 12 pack the owner asked of me, "are you sure you need that ?" Apparently he knew something that I didn't realize. MM |
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. And I rotated stores as well so the people working there wouldn't know I was an alkie :headbange |
The store I frequented most was a Rite-Aid and it was to the point where the sales ladies and cashiers would ask for my opinions and advice on picking wine. Ugh. And I always thought that was ridiculous considering I was buying cheap wine. They had no idea about wine or what was good, lol. I couldn't afford really good wine anyway. Not at the rate I drank it. The whole thing was just sick irony. |
There was a time when I switched to wine, so it looked like I was just having a glass with dinner or something. But yes, I did the store rotation thing as well, so I always had bottles of wine on hand. When I switched back to hard liquor, I hardly cared anymore. |
I also did the store rotation, 7-11 to CVS to grocery store... I liked to mix it up so nobody knew I was such an alcoholic. I used to work at a supermarket when I was younger and I remember the alcoholics who came in buying cases of beer and liquor every night. I always felt bad for them, then of course I became one of them. |
I was an everyday buyer and when I moved was when I rotated stores so no one would suspect anything. Once before I moved, I was at food4less and did not have alcohol the young guy behind the counter said "no beer? No vodka?" I wasn't a vodka drinker, it was always beer. There were people behind me in line and I wanted to crawl in a hole because he said it loudly. I mumbled an embarrassed "no." The store manager was right behind him and I think he got into a bit of trouble for saying that. When I came back in she apologized to me and said she had talked to him. He wasn't around long after that and I felt bad that my alcoholism had gotten him in trouble even if it was not professional what he said. |
I am only on day 2 but heres what I USED to do. I was an every day buyer. Like others I rotated stores and hoped to not see the same person at the register. If I didn't recognize the person at the register (which was rare) I got pretty excited and all the sudden had more confidence that they wouldn't know me and was I really was. Not sure how my body handled it but I was up to a fifth of Vodka per day. |
Originally Posted by biminiblue
(Post 5444797)
I would buy on a daily or every other day basis. At rotating stores, of course. The worst thing was when we went from State controlled liquor stores to every store selling it. That coincided with a spike in my hard alcohol drinking. I think I figured if I had to go to the store I'd drink less - so one bottle at a time. When I got to handles, I was drinking waaaaaay too much :( Yeah, write about your thoughts, it helps us all - and hopefully you. Thanks for your post. Thinking now, though, that had I still been drinking when they changed, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be here today. :) |
Daily buyer here too. I had 5 different stores I rotated. I remember one time I went to a local grocery store about 8am, and the cashier refused to sell it to me. I remember her saying, " You're intoxicated. I saw you stumble when you came in." Talk about humiliating and embarrassing. |
I used to rotate stores every other day. I'd look at some people that fill a cart with liquor and figured if I bought all that, I'd probably drink myself to death. But then again, I used to stock up on Friday's for the weekend, but it never lasted. The one time I got a DUI was when I ran out on a Sunday and liquor stores closed. So I got the bright idea of driving across state lines to a state that sells on Sundays. Couldn't wait to get home. Drank a cup or two of vodka. Well, got lost going home. Passing drivers called the police saying someone was driving all over the road. Apparently sideswiped a few cars. Eventually pulled over with two cops with guns drawn. Not a good day. Moral of this story, don't drink and..........well.........don't drink period. |
Daily buyer here as well and sometimes I'd want more and drive back out and get more. Not the brightest idea. I basically just had 2 stores I frequented and they all knew me and pretty much my birthday. When I'd go shopping with the wife I would not buy anything cause I mostly did it while she was at work. When I didn't buy any the store clerk said what,no beer today. Wife did not think that was funny at all. Now I see it more clearly |
Originally Posted by MasCowbell
(Post 5444992)
I am only on day 2 but heres what I USED to do. I was an every day buyer. Like others I rotated stores and hoped to not see the same person at the register. If I didn't recognize the person at the register (which was rare) I got pretty excited and all the sudden had more confidence that they wouldn't know me and was I really was. Not sure how my body handled it but I was up to a fifth of Vodka per day. |
I bought at least a bottle of wine a day, usually more, and when I'd run out I'd go out and get another one or two bottles. :( I am blessed that I never got stopped or had an accident. :( |
Every day for me. As long as I didn't buy more than a 750 a day I didn't have a problem. |
I purchased alcohol every day as well. Only what I needed for that day because if I bought more I would end up drinking it. I went to cheaper stores like Walmart, Fareway, etc and would alternate where I went so I didn't constantly run into the same people. That is one thing I don't miss. |
Originally Posted by dunkelheit
(Post 5444787)
I never went to AA, or anything. Many of us went to great lengths to support or try to control our drinking. I could never "stock up" on booze because I would just drink it all. Recovery wasn't easy either--I had to check myself into detox then do ninety AA meetings in ninety days. It makes sense to go to great lengths for recovery, because my life depends on it. |
I bought a big bottle of wine a day. Had days where I would drink 2. I too would rotate stores. Sometimes I would just buy a box. Ahh its great that I can finally admit that. I was closet drinker. I am trying to get real with myself. |
My husband kept me stocked. Because I stopped driving because of panic attacks. How's that for codependency ? :/ |
Would you believe I have never purchased alcohol from a liquor store? I literally just realized that. I would buy a 6-pack at a mini mart and drink it on the way to a bar. I would then drink huge amounts of alcohol for several hours at the bar and go home (often drive drunk). I did that 2-3 evenings per week. I am a binge drinking alcoholic. Very dangerous! What a horrible way to live. :-( |
This reminds me of my pharmacy experience. I used to get my OTC codeine from rotating pharmacies, it was always at the pharmacists discretion, and sometimes they refused, other times they knew I was addicted and saw me strictly as business, all the time it was embarrassing, and anxiety provoking! Good gosh all the time wasted on trying to appear normal! Glad those days are behind me. |
Did the daily purchase for a while. When I lived in Laramie, WY, it was easy enough to rotate stores. I'd drive across town on Sunday and Monday to Albertson's, which had the best selection, hit up Safeway, which was walking distance, during the week when I'd buy my cheap groceries, and Thursday through Saturday/Sunday, I'd buy package on my way out of the bar (many watering holes have their own liquor store in Wyoming). I was making reasonable money, around three times what my cost of living was (rent, utilities, transportation, etc), but all the extra was budgeted for my drinking. Toward the end of a pay period, I typically curtailed going out to the bars because package was cheaper. I don't miss that. There's nothing redeeming in looking at your bank statement and seeing 30-40 purchases on package liquor alone. There's nothing awesome about passing out drunk, and coming to in a panic because I almost slept till the liquor stores closed and I have to rush to stock up until tomorrow. There's nothing enjoyable about being too drunk to go to the store that night but knowing I don't have enough to continue my drunk at the level.of inebriation I desire, or getting around that by taking 8 Benadryl and drinking more to literally knock me out enough to be unconscious until the stores opened the next day. Sent from my ADR6300 using Sober Recovery |
Like most here, I usually just bought enough to get me through the day. Though if I was really broke, those 5L cheap box wines would usually last me close to three days. I didn't really rotate stores though and never noticed that I got recognized for my drinking at my regular grocery or liquor stores. Though from being in the bar/restaurant industry myself for many many years, I am a crazily extravagant tipper so when I was a bar fly I very seldom went in a new bar more than a couple of times before the bartenders already remembered my face and had my choice of drink poured before I even had my bottom firmly planted on the bar stool. That would kind of embarrass me but it also made me feel like I belonged there at the same time. |
The best part for me was the cute cashier at the Safeway liquor store. She sees me.several times a week, so in my drunken idiocy, I'm trying to find a way to be smooth and pull a number. Because spending 2/3 of my income on being a daily drinker is something she couldn't deduce by me being there all the time... "Hey, there, sweet thang. What say you and me get together and I can be the reason you need therapy?" Sent from my ADR6300 using Sober Recovery |
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