Tonight sucks
 

So after the fun of camping, tonight I had to send my son (who did not want to go) back to dad's for father's day weekend. Dad's house is incredibly unstable right now, with even dad admitting there are problems, so it breaks my heart to send him over when he is begging to stay here.

As soon as they left my driveway, I came in and opened the fridge, reaching for a beer. Thank God there are none in there. It is scary how automatic it can be to head for that drink. I came on here because right now, the big temptation is to jump in my car and drive to the local store. But, I will not. I am going to sit here and drink my water and get over this feeling of wanting to cry. Wanting to cry because it breaks my heart to send my boy somewhere he does not want to go (although I am sure he will have fun once he gets there), and wanting to cry as I have been feeling so good about my quit, and almost broke it.

I guess the keyword is almost, and I am still here...and my ex is at least good about calling for me to get little one if he is too unhappy over there.

(((learningagain)))

I'm glad you're not going to drink. :) You'll be glad too, when you wake up feeling good tomorrow. :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tml?styleid=93

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Thank you everyone! I am over it now, thank God. The urges when they come for me are so weird. Because I expect them to be all encompassing, but it is more like a little thought, but because it is a little thought it is almost harder to resist. If my mind was screaming at me, I could battle through it, but the almost calm, rational (ha!) way the AV speaks is almost hypnotic. However, I beat him down with a huge glass of water, some chocolate (s'mores leftovers!) and a little cry to myself.

I am actually grateful I was diligent in bug spraying my son at the campsite and not myself, as the sudden itching of my ankle, where a bug or two clearly had a feast took my focus! I will have to find some less itchy distractions in the future, but any port in a storm, right?

Great job on pushing through!! :You_Rock_

Stick by SR over the weekend Learningagain :)

check out the weekender thread :)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ne-18-a-8.html

D

Good job on not going to the store for beer. Try to pamper yourself a bit tonight, since you're on your own. You'll feel wonderful and sober in the morning :)