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-   -   complete insanity (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/368903-complete-insanity.html)

exwell66 06-04-2015 09:08 PM

complete insanity
 
We know what the definition is.I am going to fire island week of 4th july,had it planned for a year.I think I am making a mistake as I am having dreams of drinking over there.The simple answer is don't go.I know the and then what situation.I know I have that thing tugging on me,Looking at this like staring into the abyss in a way.Still have to live life just not sure.Feel like im talking out of both sides.Not sure about my resolve

Ruby2 06-04-2015 09:16 PM

Why go then? We all have to live life. We don't have to put ourselves into dangerous situations while doing so. Sounds to me that you want to drink, know you will drink but are ultimately conflicted about doing so. I find getting it out that this is what is going on in my head to be helpful in cutting the thought off. I'm guarding my sobriety by arranging vacation times and places where I know I won't be drinking.

ScottFromWI 06-04-2015 09:19 PM

It's pretty clear what the answer should be and I'm pretty sure you know it, right?

exwell66 06-04-2015 10:03 PM

you are both right I am trying to drill it into my head.But I am being real about the situation.At a point and time I will come up against it.I have been living in a sheltered environment for a few months now,just started to test the waters and real life stress.I am trying to bs myself and by talking about it I hope I convince myself not to drink there.That is where I know I might come off as a fool.Again where is the line?working in a stressful environment running jobs in the city,trading large positions (options).....I keep telling myself I might have a bit of a handle but I don't know yet

savarna 06-05-2015 03:21 AM

id defiantly not go

corockies 06-05-2015 03:27 AM

fire island, am I missing something here? A YEAR? not into that but isn't that just a.....
well that's your story. Sorry, I am new, but I think it's gross to troll here dude......

IOAA2 06-05-2015 03:29 AM

Hi.
When I finally plugged the jug it was constantly said that staying sober was my #1 priority bar nothing else. This was from old timers with years of experience, now I say and practice the same thing.
For me and most people relapses are very difficult thing to deal with and many never make it back so we must stay away from slippery places until we are on solid ground and then examine our motives honestly.

BE WELL

OnMyWay7 06-05-2015 03:34 AM

The world can move on without me. I'm not going to places that concern me - I won't until I know I'm ready. My life isn't worth a weekend.

MIRecovery 06-05-2015 03:51 AM

Sounds like you are planning your relapse. Make other plans and get the thought out of your head. You will be so much happier

corockies 06-05-2015 03:55 AM

i know I am new,

but fire island for a year?

hurts that people are hurting and there is this

Dee74 06-05-2015 04:04 AM

You can live life, and have a great 4th, without going to Fire Island :)

D

OCDDan 06-05-2015 04:10 AM


Originally Posted by exwell66 (Post 5407017)
We know what the definition is.I am going to fire island week of 4th july,had it planned for a year.I think I am making a mistake as I am having dreams of drinking over there.The simple answer is don't go.I know the and then what situation.I know I have that thing tugging on me,Looking at this like staring into the abyss in a way.Still have to live life just not sure.Feel like im talking out of both sides.Not sure about my resolve

ex,
maybe go back and read what you wrote on serpers thread "I relapse because I want to chance it one more time?" I thought Anvilhead hit it right..

exwell66 06-05-2015 04:53 AM

Thanks to all the helpful posts here,talked it over with my wife I am going to ocean beach in fire island for one day that week my birthday then back home she and the kids will have to enjoy it without me..btw beautiful olace on the ocean. but no way in hell am I ready.As for the crockies completely uninformed posts I must delete you although you make me laugh you aren't worth anymore time here...again thanks to everyone

exwell66 06-05-2015 04:54 AM

how do you block a user

ArtFriend 06-05-2015 05:16 AM


Originally Posted by exwell66 (Post 5407383)
how do you block a user

Go under UserCP, Edit options and the edit ignore list

saoutchik 06-05-2015 05:30 AM

Hi exwell, I am making the assumption that you quit around the time of your joining SR (May). If it was May then it probably is too soon.

I appreciate that you are going with your family and that they would be disappointed if you don't go, but i'm willing to bet they would be even more disappointed if you started drinking again.

Is there anywhere with less of a party vibe that you could go to? (with your family). I say that because I have read a lot of posts by guys (and it is mostly guys) who have picked up drinking again when on their own

exwell66 06-05-2015 05:40 AM

chik you are absolutely right but they will be a tiny bit disappointed if I don't make it.I would be more of a problem going there even if I didn't drink I would be a distraction.I spent 11k for 6 days,its my neighbors house and I don't want to screw him out of the cash so its a done deal house will go to bood use plenty of friends will enjoy

Mountainmanbob 06-05-2015 06:02 AM

Even though it doesn't hardly ever happen to me anymore. Even at 7 years sober if I thought a place or event to be a slippery one where I would be tempted to possibly drink - in no way would I go there. Just me.

Today I will protect my sobriety the best I can.
It's a (serious decision) made each and every day.

MM

live4luv 06-05-2015 06:13 AM

A wise person on the site recently pointed out to me that our sobriety is not something to be tested, but protected! (I would add, at ALL costs)

Lots of great, helpful feedback on this thread.

It helps me to read the posts from the people who have recently relapsed and their stories of waking up with complete regret and shame. And often stories of relapses that turned into a long period of spiraling worse than they were before their abstinence. As well as the difficulties they experience trying to regain their grip on sobriety.

My heart goes out to those struggling and I thank them for sharing honestly, to help remind me that I do not want to experience the same!

exwell66 06-05-2015 02:04 PM

I agree 100% ,hearing other people that went there drives home the point that I am a fragile flower,thats what my wife calls me she is right.The only exp I have on relaps was in December leaving rehab after 30 days and buying a quart 5 minutes out the gate...don't want to go there just need to keep telling myself that and need to be reminded all the time that's why I come here


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