Advice For Who We Used To Be
 

"Don't wear anything flammable."

heh heh.

Have three alarm clocks.

Don't spend too much time preparing a nice meal - you won't remember eating it anyway!

Never ever use your phone or any kind of social media, until 100% Sober!! ;)

Deep frying with oil in a wok is off limits.

If you decide to go swimming in a public area please wear some clothes.

Pay attention to familiar feeling corners, they don't all have commodes.

Bring a change of clothes for bodily fluids gone rogue.

eeeeewwwwww

Phone numbers. Don't ask, don't tell.

I occasionally look at the pics of me at a Xmas party a few years ago. I was drinking absinthe (yikes). I am totally poop-faced. Red nose, glassy eyes, and no pants. Yep...we all took off our pants and danced in our whitey-tighties. Including my boss. Company party at someone loft downtown.

So I would say to me -

Really? Just really?

No, recyclable bottles / cans are not a good source of extra income.

Don't use the water bottle you camouflaged vodka with to make coffee in the morning.

The more you try to act, walk and speak like you're sober the more obvious it will be to others that you're not

Seriously,mate, don't drink absinthe, three lots of chilly vodka, tequila, and other assorted spirits the day before your second year degree exam... idiot.

No, all taxis do not only go to your ex's place.

Don't keep a Sharpie in the house. You won't want to read what is on your walls in the morning and repainting gets old after the 3rd or 4th time.

Don't use the stairs. Stairs are treacherous.

If your thinking the words "just one more baby shot" your lying. There's no such thing as a baby shot. And you'll probably spill liquor everywhere.

Win.