SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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-   -   Dredging the dirt (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/365696-dredging-dirt.html)

TennantSmith 04-26-2015 12:16 PM

I have finally reached the point where I'm ready to fight. I'm ready to fight for myself and my life. I am so sick and tired of being stuck. I've put myself into a prison and I have needed to reach the point where I was willing to fight to get out.

This is my bottom. This point right here. I refuse to go any further down. I am done digging. I have lost enough but I haven't lost it all yet. I refuse to let this define me anymore or to take one more thing from me.

I finally got pissed off enough to fight. I have been so passive. Hoping something magical would happen and "poof" it'd all be over and I'd be okay.

I'm not okay. At all. But I'm going to be because I refuse to give myself any other options.

I'm done digging. I'm done being passive. I'm doing being on the sidelines of my own life.

I'm good and mad but for the first time in a long time, it's for the right reasons.

Alynn 04-26-2015 12:19 PM

Keep on fighting like hell! We have to!!! Rooting for you ;)

ArtFriend 04-26-2015 12:20 PM

:You_Rock_

Take that anger and energy and go for it! I believe in you!

TennantSmith 04-26-2015 12:23 PM

Thank you. The support I receive here at SR is invaluable and truly does help. Sometimes we think we don't really do much good, being behind a screen and anonymous in a sense. But truly, you do help a lot. Some of the growth I have experienced this past month is due to what I've received here. I know the work is on me, but knowing that others are cheering you on is incredible.

saoutchik 04-26-2015 12:28 PM

Good for you Michelle

Tc4ever 04-26-2015 01:35 PM

Great job TS. Be sure and keep us posted. I get my insurance in two weeks and am going to go to counseling also. we're going to get there, but not without a fight that's for sure.
TC

TennantSmith 04-26-2015 01:44 PM

I have fought to accomplish so many other things in life. I know I have it in me. It's now a matter of doing it. :)

We got this

TennantSmith 04-27-2015 11:25 AM

I called today to set up counseling. I begin next week. Yay!

Ready or not, here I go :)


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