Family interaction
 

I don't live close to my family either. However, you need to do what is best for you to maintain your sobriety. You may need to distance yourself for awhile given what you've described. There is nothing wrong with looking after yourself and your sobriety.

You need to do what you need to do to protect your Sobreity at all costs!!

My family on my dad's side sounds like yours, and for a long time I avoided them, my aunts/uncles spend too much time drinking, always in the pub etc, so I stayed away until I could be a non drinker around them and be strong enough to make it happen.

Hang in there Jane!! 8 days is fantastic, and not worth compromising for anything or anyone!! :)

(((Jane Lane)))

YOU come first. IMHO, you should allow yourself some time to build a strong foundation for your sobriety before exposing yourself to triggers if you can avoid them.

You don't have to visit anybody if you don't want to. Family members can trigger us in early recovery for many reasons. I worked really hard to keep only positive people in my life in the early months. You must put yourself first and keep the focus on your recovery. :)

Thank you loves. I really appreciate your advice and kindness.

Yeah, my mom's an alcoholic. I've actually begun ignoring some of her Skype calls. If she calls in the morning my time, I know it's night time there, and she's plastered drunk. If she calls at night my time, I know it's morning there, so she'll be sober.

Firstly, I'd like to say I'm sorry for your situation. What you are experiencing isn't easy. When we are dealing with difficult things in life we want our loved ones to be there for us. You don't have that luxury. You have the reminder of what you are trying to achieve and why with the allure of alcohol in addition to it. I totally understand. My Mother "sets" me off. I don't like being around here when she is drinking which is at every social or family gathering we have. You have received terrific advice. I cannot offer anything other than what was already said. You must come first. Establish a strong sober foundation before trying to socialize with your family. It is hard, but sounds crucial given your situation. My best to you...

Hi Jane. I'm sorry you are feeling in a bind with family. Protect your sobriety first. Sort through the tough initial days and then see what happens. If you don't have trouble with your mother, does she have a mobile you can call on? That way you know you will get her, not your dad.

Hugs. You're doing great.

Thank you so much. Yes, the strong foundation definitely needs work.

Thanks for replying ruby! My mum is very critical so even when I call for a chat, there's always some kind of criticism about me, which makes me feel bad of course. My plan is to take some space from the whole situation. As you said, I need to protect my sobriety and that's the one thing I really haven't been doing

Troy

I'm sorry about your family situation. I can relate to screening your calls. Sometimes it's good to take time and space.

I hope you've got lots of support, we are all here for each other :-)

That's great advice, thank you Anna. I need to prioritise my recovery, definitely.

Thank you B. I've got some amazing advice here and I'm grateful for everyone's kind words.

Purple, thank you! I naively had it in my head that I could "just" change drinks when I go to a pub or when I'm stressed. That voice is far stronger than I realised.

Thank you. I definitely need to take some space and also work on my recovery away from massive stress for now.

I too drank often to numb feelings of sadness, disappointment, confusion, guilt, anger, resentment etcetera that I felt around the dysfunction in my family.

Namely my parents. It's been a constant trigger in my life, I never knew of any other way to cope with those feelings. I know just how you feel JaneLane :boggled:

Thank you. I'm so pleased that other kind souls on here can share and relate. Makes it a lot easier going forward :-)