Your wife sounds like a wonderful person. I am going through a similar thing; grieving for both of my parents. They were wonderful people. We had the expected, dysfunctional middle-class stuff, but I must say, like you..that I hope I can be a fraction of the people they were...(sigh) |
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
(Post 5227180)
You are a very good son and grandson, Gonnachange. I am sure that, if they could, they would wrap you in their arms and tell you so.
Originally Posted by tokidoki
(Post 5227184)
Your wife sounds like a wonderful person. I am going through a similar thing; grieving for both of my parents. They were wonderful people. We had the expected, dysfunctional middle-class stuff, but I must say, like you..that I hope I can be a fraction of the people they were...(sigh) Funny thing about growing up. When I was 17 I knew everything and my parents not so much. As I got older they got smarter. :wink: But even in my turbulent teenage years there was always the consistency of love and support and I greatly benefited from that. I'm glad that you had such a good relationship with your parents; it's a gift. Still Sad Since my last post here my daughter called to talk about her grandfather. I told her that I forgot and while I held it together while talking with her and I knew she wanted some consoling she consoled me probably more than I did her. I shed tears afterward for the first time in years. My wife's at the gym so I'm going to stay up to talk to her when she gets home, but it's going to be an early night. I hope sleep comes easily, which it rarely does under the best of circumstances. |
Oh dear Gonnachange, I really *do* understand, I think, what you are going through. I have two daughters and though they have gone through loss after loss these last @11 years, they have been amazing. Yup, my parents were *idiots* (I thought at 17), but isn't it amazing that they become such sages when we are 20+ years old..? |
Originally Posted by tokidoki
(Post 5227249)
Oh dear Gonnachange, I really *do* understand, I think, what you are going through. I have two daughters and though they have gone through loss after loss these last @11 years, they have been amazing. Yup, my parents were *idiots* (I thought at 17), but isn't it amazing that they become such sages when we are 20+ years old..? I'm sorry that you and your daughters have had to endure so many years of loss, but I'm very glad to read that they are "amazing". Don't know how old they are, but cherish them. |
Sounds like there was some pretty good child rearing going on Toki and GC to me that is the best way to honor your parents. |
Well, older DD is 24 and in her 2nd year of dental school. Younger DD is going to graduate HS this year... |
Originally Posted by Della1968
(Post 5227281)
Sounds like there was some pretty good child rearing going on Toki and GC to me that is the best way to honor your parents. Thanks for your comments; after posting here, speaking with my daughter and my wife, and the passage of time I'm more at peace with what was, still in my mind, a screw up.
Originally Posted by tokidoki
(Post 5227333)
Well, older DD is 24 and in her 2nd year of dental school. Younger DD is going to graduate HS this year... A big thanks to everyone who helped me out. I'm still upset, but as I wrote above I'm in a far better place. Most importantly I'm sober and in a short while be going to sleep. Once again, thank you my SR friends. |
Have a good sleep, Gonnachange, and All. |
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
(Post 5227481)
Have a good sleep, Gonnachange, and All. Priorities My number one priority this morning was visiting my father's grave and making amends. Mission accomplished. I was so distraught last night that I realized this morning that I broke my recent habit of writing what I'm cooking for dinner. The back story to last night's meal was that two nights ago my wife suggested that since we're in the midst of a very cold streak of weather we should cook something summery and she wanted hamburgers and baked beans. So Wednesday night I soaked the beans and last night we had burgers stuffed with smoked mozzarella (yes, smoked by me), baked beans, and a salad. So that I don't forget to write about tonight, I'm planning on making a cauliflower pizza crust and topping it with sauce that is simmering in the kitchen as I type, sautéed onions, ricotta and mozzarella cheeses. Salad on the side. Starting tonight I'm going to be spending surrounded by alcohol for the weekend, but I'm not too concerned. Tonight me, my wife, and some friends are going to a bar to listen to a mutual friend's band. Tomorrow I'm hosting a small dinner party (menu below) before going to a concert at a venue in town. Sunday my wife and I are going to a St. Patrick's Day party that our friend hosts every year on the day of her town's parade. All three involve driving so I'll have additional incentive to stick with non alcoholic drinks. Menu for tomorrow: Appys:
Dessert: We're supplying fruit and the other guests will bring something. I'll end this babble by writing that today is much better than the past two days. |
I think that I am gaining weight by mentally pigging-out on your menus, Gonnachange. Your menu sounds amazing. |
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
(Post 5228473)
I think that I am gaining weight by mentally pigging-out on your menus, Gonnachange. Your menu sounds amazing. |
Dang, Gonnachange. Stop it already (not). Every single dish you mentioned makes me soooo hungry. |
Originally Posted by tokidoki
(Post 5228767)
Dang, Gonnachange. Stop it already (not). Every single dish you mentioned makes me soooo hungry. |
I drank last night. For no reason. Rightly so, my wife is annoyed with me today. I completely agree with her and we've talked about it this morning, but as we all know words are easy so whatever I said doesn't hold much merit. It's actions that count and the only thing I can do is to make the proper decisions today, which means not drinking. I'm not sure why I keep stumbling; nothing good came from me having that first one last night and nothing good will come from me having any alcohol today. My goal is to have a sober day enjoying my dinner guests and the concert we're going to attend. This hamster wheel stuff sucks. |
I think you need a plan. A real honest to goodness no holds barred plan, GC. Posting here is great - but it's not stopping you from drinking... so...what else can you add? what more can you do? D |
"Hamster wheel stuff"...Yup, got it. Gonnachange, gotta tell you, February has not been a good month for me (via sobriety, of course). There was a promise to a certain family member that I broke...so ridiculous. Anyway, just need to let you know that I am with you. Let's recommit and make March a great month. |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 5230846)
I think you need a plan. A real honest to goodness no holds barred plan, GC. Posting here is great - but it's not stopping you from drinking... so...what else can you add? what more can you do? D
Originally Posted by tokidoki
(Post 5230852)
"Hamster wheel stuff"...Yup, got it. Gonnachange, gotta tell you, February has not been a good month for me (via sobriety, of course). There was a promise to a certain family member that I broke...so ridiculous. Anyway, just need to let you know that I am with you. Let's recommit and make March a great month. Yesterday I had no alcohol at my dinner party, the concert, or when we came back to the house to hang for a while. We're about to leave for a St. Patrick's Day parade and party and I'm not going to have anything to drink. I know that I have to come up with a more viable long term solution, but for today this is going to have to be sufficient. |
That's a victory. Good for you, gonnachange. |
Originally Posted by tokidoki
(Post 5232416)
That's a victory. Good for you, gonnachange. Since My Last Post My absence since yesterday morning's post was due to us getting home late yesterday and today being a busy one. I'm happy to write that while I did have one virgin Bloody Mary yesterday, that's the closest I've come to having anything alcoholic. It's a homemade recipe that the hostess makes for her St. Paddy's Day parties and I've enjoyed in years past. Just to be sure, I asked the hostess if there was any alcohol in the mixture because sometimes she adds it to the pitcher. This year the vodka bottle was on the side so I was good to go and enjoyed my one before moving onto water. |
I love Virgin Mary's, too, Gonnachange, with lots of horseradish and a dash of Tabasco. |
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