Went to an addiction counselor
 

I finally went. Was there for an hour an a half and poured out my life story of alcohol and drugs. Was completely honest, told her my current drinking habits.
She asked "what do you want to get from today, why are you here?"
I said "I want you to tell me if you think I'm an alcoholic"
She looked over her chart at my answers to her questions "Do you shake in the morning" no "Do you drink in the morning?" no "Are you preoccupied with thoughts of drinking?" yes etc. etc.
And she said "You are between alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence, not quite there, but close, I will tell you, it doesn't get better, if you continue drinking like this, you're tolerance is gonna get higher, and you're gonna have bad jo-jo in your life"
She told me to see if I could cut back and come back in a month, if I wasn't able to cut back, we would go from there.
? I don't what I thought of that counselor. Doesn't seem like what you'd hear from a counselor.
Surely didn't inspire me to quit cold turkey. I came out thinking, hmmm, I guess I'm not in such bad shape.
So now that's what I'm trying, trying to cut back. To one or two days a week. Last drink was on Sunday and now I will go until Saturday.
I feel pretty sad and resentful. Like I'm being punished, I know I shouldn't feel that way, I am so confused.
I think that that meeting was pretty unsuccessful.

Why not stop altogether, Arctic?

Planning for the next drink, wondering if you are an alcoholic . . . all the mental agony that accompanies it is exhausting. Can you give sobriety a really good try and see how you feel?

Listen to your own inner voice.

If you drink for a couple days and then not drink for the week, what are your plans for that "drinking" day or days? People who don't have a problem with alcohol can drink one or two and then that's enough for them.

I wouldn't necessarily say the counselor didn't give you what you wanted...if you want to keep drinking, she can't stop you from that.

What do you want? If alcohol is causing you problems, the solution is to stop.

I know life is better with aslcohol removed from my life

Hi Arctic!

You and I joined SoberRecovery about the same time over two years ago. And my main thought now is that I am glad I quit drinking then and am not still going through the misery you are now feeling.

There are plenty of threads here about moderation. Most of us cannot drink in a controlled manner, and eventually find that quitting is easier.

And by the way, if you put a "]" at then end of your signature, it will come out they way you want it. And if you believe your signature, you will get everything you desire.

How does she make such an assumption after only an hour & half chat? You know in your heart if alcohol is causing issues. People who can drink often do not have to struggle to cut back, that being said I'm not a trained on addiction

Why not stop wondering about the label alcoholic and focus on stopping drinking and recovering.

What do YOU think about your drinking? If you think it's a problem it probably is! Good luck my fellow Wisconsinite!

It clearly concerns you. Like, "Am I really f***** yet?" And, yeah, I am kinda wtf with whoever it is you went to see. If I were you I would wonder if she had really showed up to work that day, even if she was sitting there. I would have walked out of there confused myself. It really sounds to me like you wanted her to tell you that you had better quit, like it would have meant more from a professional.

I'm a professional. I am a seasoned soldier of life. So take it from me. You should stop.

Let me tell you, Arctic. Not drinking is cool. To be the one that's says, "No thanks, I'll pass." I remember when I could only envy those who had quit drinking and wondering if I ever would. Then my heart nearly flamed out one day over it. That made it a no-brainer for me. My doc said, "We need to keep your heart beating." That was math I could understand.

Why wait for some bad thing? Why wait for the noose to tighten? You're not happy about it. You don't need to wait to quit. You don't like it. That's clear. If you are not that bad "yet" then that just means it will be easier to quit.

Then you can be one of those "strong" people. I love just not dealing with the "s**t" anymore. anyone that can scrape together a couple of dollars can drink. You're better than that. I just know it.

It sounds like you are just waiting for someone to give you permission. Well, I will. It's OK, Arctic. Quit. :wild

What do YOU think about your drinking? If you think it's a problem it probably is! Good luck my fellow Wisconsinite!

What do YOU think about your drinking? If you think it's a problem it probably is! Good luck my fellow Wisconsinite!

No one can tell you that Arctic. You know that too and you've asked the same question to SR in a roundabout way over the past years. It's a very positive step to have seen a counselor, but I think you may be mis-interpreting the results as licence to keep drinking.

I don't go around telling people I am an alcholic, and frankly I don't really even apply the term to myself. I do know that my drinking was unmanageable and was slowly desroying my life. I also know that drinking was an all-consuming obsession for me. And quite frankly, if you read back through your posts it is a very consuming obsession for you too. It would be interesting to see what your counselor would have thought if you could have shared some of your posts like this one about your rage during withdrawals

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...issed-off.html

Or this one about your attempt at moderation

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-quickly.html

Or this one about another moderation attempt

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...all-right.html

Bottom line, drinking seems to cause a lot of problems for you. One counselor's opinion is not nearly as imporant as what you think yourself. Do you think it would be OK for you to just keep drinking moderately?

Double post

You know in your heart all the answers to these questions... I don't want to sound harsh but I think your AV is feeding you a lot of crap...

My son would fit into that category...an alcohol abuser but not dependent. He has come to the realization that it will ONLY get worse and cannot drink if he wants to have a healthy life. He deluded himself with the "moderation game". It has never, ever worked.

Arctic,

:agree.

You don't want to cut back. You went in there wanting that lady to make it official and she didn't make it official enough for you. It almost sounded like you needed to be given an order or maybe like you even needed permission. I know sometimes I have this crazy feeling that I need permission to do the right thing for myself. Like the absent disapproving party peers in my head would raise an eyebrow and I couldn't be one of the "guys" anymore and well, we just can't have that, right? Not!

Maybe you needed to hear it from a professional. Well, I am a professional. I am a professional soldier of life. And in that capacity, with my authority and by the power invested in me, I will both give you permission and I will hand down to you your marching orders.

Stop drinking.

Well, ok, that's a little much, but please get the idea. We would love for you to join us as ex-drinkers and you would love to join us too. I just know it. Just do it. Quit. Now.

And there you go.

:a122:

AG

I'm thinking the reality is that alcohol is currently a problem for you. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have gone to see an addictions counselor. REGARDLESS of what the initial diagnosis is, we all know that alcoholism is progressive....it gets worse....it doesn't get better. If you continue to drink, it will get worse. If you stop drinking, your life will get better. When I looked at it this way, it was a no-brainer for me. I stopped drinking.

I am going to save you some trouble and a little bit of money on a counselor that won't answer your question. You're an alcoholic, maybe you don't want to think that way. Maybe just maybe you think you can moderate, but if its causing you this much consternation then obviously there is an issue. Its like hey the expert said, I might not be alcoholic, but I know its causing me problems. But hey if they say I am not, time to drink! Sorry my friend I don't mean to be so rash, but I am laying the facts out the way I see them.

Now what, who cares its just a label. I hate labels, a label is just a way of defining something in concrete terms. A way of treating something when it comes to drinking. Professionals use those terms so they can look up the cure in their little book.

Find a goal, find some purpose, find something outside of yourself you can do. No need for resentment or anger or confusion. I actually don't think you are confused, I think you know exactly what you want to do, but are having a hard go at it.

I know you want to stop. I know you know that you want something better in your life. That my friend is the feeling I believe you should seize upon. Get a stop date, be prepared with friends and things to do and a support mechanism. Know that you don't have to be " confused" anymore. Know that you can do this, you will do this, and life will improve after you do this.

Good day, and good luck Jeremy

I think you know the answer. Maybe she's not sure you know the answer.

Maybe she's having you go through the "try cutting back" experiment to have you see yourself that you have an issue. This way she won't have to walk you though the "maybe I can control it" phase after she has you stop - she would have already shown you that control is not what you can do -

I'm sure if you told her you decided to just stop I don't think she'd care - just ask you why and then you'd be like "because I know I have an issue" and then - well you'd be on your road right?

Just some thoughts.

Hi Artic.

Has the counselor done any other kind of assessment on you, a more comprehensive one rather than just questions about your drinking and drugging pattern? We started out in the same class here back in 2014 January, and I remember some of your posts on that thread... makes me think you might possibly need a little more from therapy/counseling than just a plan to dissect your drinking habits... might be wrong, but my memory and impression.

You also tried multiple times to cut back / quit already, no? And it does not seem like you are satisfied with any of the result. Have you discussed this with her?

I believe it is true that first you would need to sort out the drinking issue and then address whatever else, but I would personally expect more from counseling than just someone tell me how to drink or how not to drink. But in fact, they can only help based on what we share. Sounds like she wanted you to set a simple goal:

"She asked "what do you want to get from today, why are you here?"
And you answered:
"I want you to tell me if you think I'm an alcoholic"

I would say that what she asked and suggested is logically addressing your question and may provide an answer in a while that you will be able to discuss with her.

But is this really what you want from it?