This is going to kill me
 

I got so blackout drunk last night. Woke up today with so much anxiety and chest tightness. This type of drinking is going to kill me. I see all these people on this forum succeeding while I slowly drink my life away. I'm probably just going to die in my sleep one night and that's it

Or - you could stop drinking right now.

We all had to just do it. There's no time like now, right?

That horrible feeling goes away with continued abstinence.

I was faciong a similar destiny - but then I did something about it, scared.

Make a loist of all the things you could possibly do to stop drinking. Start with joining the Class of February thread here, through seeing your doctor or a counsellor, going to AA or some other group...all the way up to inpatient rehab.

Strike out the things you feel you really honestly can't do. Start working on what's left.

It's never too late to write a new ending to your story, scared :)

D

Just about every person you see succeed at sobriety was exactly like you at one point. Many were much worse off. You can absolutely do the same if you are willing to put in the time and effort. How about spending some time here instead of going out to get started?

It took me a while to 'get' it.
I didn't stop straight away.

By 'get it' I mean that if I didn't want to feel anxious and ill, the best way was to not drink at all.

Some 'get it' faster than others.

I remember those days well.
Its those memories that have helped me get 3 years without a drink.
I remind myself that for me drinking brings no benefits.
Any time I am tempted I remind myself of the self loathing, the fear, the anxiety, the worry and the self hate it will bring the next day.

It does not really matter how long it takes you to 'get it'.
Just make sure that you do eventually 'get it' and keep trying to.

I wish you the best xx

Scared...I was a blackout drinker too and I honestly thought being a full time alcoholic was my destiny as I couldn't fathom getting sober and staying sober.
But, I was wrong. I'm rewriting the ending to my story and you can too. You can be a success story too if it's what you truly want.

You can do this Scared. Saying it's easy would be a lie.

But you have to be stubborn a bit. For example today, my AV was loud, and I mean really loud. It waited for 6 weeks patiently. With the tools I have built I was able to recognize it, and the urge eventually passed.

The bottle has taken enough from you. Put your foot down and stand your ground. Even if you have to turn bleu, do not give in.

Rooting for you.

Don't give up. Keep trying. You can do this! Make a sobriety plan and, do your best to stick to it. Just don't give up.

The people succeeding because they didn't give up even when it sucked...you are posting that tells me you don't want to give up trying. Joining a class really helped me and now I try and stay active on a few different threads...makes me feel more accountable.

I saw all sorts of folks at AA succeeding when I first walked through the doors. It wasn't until I started ACTIVELY doing the things that they said and did that my life started to improve.

There's a sober life here for you. But you need to be ACTIVE to get it and keep hold of it.

I am literally a wreck today. I don't want to feel this ever again. The panic and anxiety is too much. I am gonna die

I understand you feel bad today but do think about your next step Scared - we can give you all the advice and support in the world, but only you can change things, y'know?

D

I don't know Dee. I just don't want to feel this right now. I want my brain to calm down. I want this chest tightness to pass. I don't want to obsess over my heart beat anymore. Today is one of those days where I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Today feels like an eternity of pain and panic. I just want to jump off a bridge

There's a 100 percent guaranteed way to never feel this way again, and it's free for the taking.

Sometimes withdrawals can be dangerous, if you feel you are in physical danger or distress please seek medical helps ASAP.

Scared1234 - if you're hungover/withdrawing, maybe you need to talk to your doctor.

Feeling like you're going to die is scary. Withdrawal can be dangerous, maybe call the nurse or pop into an urgent care facility. They can take your vitals and give you medication to ease your withdrawals.

Are you ready to quit drinking, scared?

Call an emergency number. You don't have to suffer. In the states, call 911. It really can be dangerous to withdraw...better safe than sorry.

Yes. Anything to keep this type of day away. This is the worst day of my life

Scared...if you are worried about your symptoms then go to the ER and let the doctor there check you out. It might help to ease some of the anxiety.

No I don't wanna leave my house

Keeping looking to the future, Scared. Believe in the sobriety that CAN be yours. All of us here have been where you are - sick, worried, anxious, hopeless, despairing and the list goes on. You have the power to create a better and brighter future for yourself but you have to flip the switch.

I have to say since I quit other than the first day my anxiety is 1000 times better.

Can you go do something that will take your mind off the thoughts you are having?

Could you watch a film or go for a walk?

You are not going to die.
You are hungover.

Have you drunk enough water?
If you are badly dehydrated, that can make you panicky and anxious too.

Do you have any rehydration sachets you mix with water that help when you have an upset tummy?
Drinking one of those is equivalent to drinking around 7 pints of water.
If you can, get one and drink it. You can buy them at the pharmacy or the supermarket.

Remember that with every minute that passes, more alcohol is leaving your system.
Try to visualise that happening.

For me, this is the vile power that alcohol can wield over a person.
It is such nasty, toxic, disgusting stuff it can make us think we are dying.
There is no way I am going to let that hideous stuff, that is classed as a 'fun thing to do', make me feel so low ever again.

You know you never have to feel like this again if you don't want?

Mine, too, Della.

It's gonna be ok right guys? This passes and you get stronger each day. I just need to weather the storm today.. Everything's gonna be ok ya?

It doesn't have to be like this Scared. After jumping off the wagon a few times and bruising and bloodying myself up worse each time, I found it's easier and less painful to stay on and learn to enjoy the ride.

Esinger, I just don't learn my lesson and then one day life is gonna teach me a nice one when I die young

Mine 3! xx

Hi: it was the hangover from hell after a scary blackout that finally made it clic for me. We NEVER have to feel like that again. NEVER! I hope this makes it clic for you. Remember this day and make it fuel for your sobriety.

Scared, I agree with other members here. You should check yourself in an ER/detox/hospital and get medical help. Going through withdrawals by yourself can be very dangerous at many levels. Your intense anxiety, your suicidal thoughts and more could all pertain to alcohol withdrawal. Why go trhough them alone when you can get medical attention and therefore more chances to succeed in remaining sober in the long run? why make it harder than it really is? I went to detox. could not have done it alone for sure. Best of luck, Scared.