I'm just LOST!
 

So as most of you know, I started back to AA meetings recently. I got a sponsor and started working the 12 steps. This may sound crazy, but I feel like the meetings are hurting me more than helping right now. I can go ALL day and be OK and then I get to an AA meeting and they start talking about ALCOHOL! The VERY thing I am trying to NOT think about!!!

My biggest cravings have literally been IN AA meetings recently! Ugh! Back to the drawing board....

Thoughts? Suggestions? I just want to QUIT drinking forever! That's my goal!

Thx!

Try to set your goal at not drinking today.
Why be concerned over the future when it's not here yet.

When you're at a meeting listen closely to people sharing problems similar to yours and how they got through it not drinking.

Serenidad, just get through the day, each day, that's all. If meetings work, fine and good. If they don't work, so be it. But, don't buy alcohol and don't drink.

I left AA and drank for a while after a year. I've quit again and have no intention of returning. I won't bash it because it does help some people, though recent research suggests not all that many. There ARE other approaches!

Perhaps you could find a different meeting? Triggers/cravings/stress are going to exist no matter where we go in life. Part of getting sober is learning healthy ways of dealing with these things rather than drinking.

Keep in mind too that when you go to an AA meeting and have these thoughts...they are only thoughts. They do not sell alcohol at AA meetings nor promote drinking. Focus on what you are there for and listen to others. There is no magic pill or process that will suddenly make you "not an alchoholic" anymore.

Have you tried any of the alternatives to AA? It's not the only path, and perhaps you should try another.

Some meetings focus on the solution, not the problem.

The meetings are not for everyone. On the times I tried, I felt so much pressure. Well-meaning people trying to play tough AA elders with me. They ran me right out the door. More than once.

For some, AA is a godsend. I wish each and every one of them well.

Me, I'm on my own and I am confident that I can do it. The PAWS was so brutal this time, another recovery just might kill me.

Hi Serenidad

I'm only 28 days sober so i'm in no position to give advice but if something isn't working - in this case AA then it makes sense to stop or change

I guess it's the evenings when the cravings are bad ( it is for me anyway)When they have got really bad I have gone out for a walk of about 1/2 hour to forty minutes, it seems get the monkey of the shoulder for long enough to be able to go to bed without drinking.

I've also taken to working as late as I can to keep the evenings short.

I appreciate it's not always easy for a woman to walk around at night

I actually have the same thing, AA makes me really want to drink sometimes and keeps me sober other times. Who knows, I just go anyway

Why lost, Serenidad? You have some ideas of what helps you and what doesn't. You have SR.

Are you just craving right now? Or is it that you don't want AA at all anymore? You know of the other programs out there, and you know there are those of us here who've used many programs cobbling together our own, those who've used no program at all, and so on.

Bottom line and common denominator in all this is to not drink, of course.

So how can you not drink today? It's only a matter of stringing together moments of not drinking at first, as you know, because you've done it before, and you've done it successfully :)

In early recovery I found some meetings helpful, some not. I also sometimes felt like having a drink afterwards, due to all the obsessing over alcohol and problems I would hear about. I rarely go now but do find meetings helpful at times. I also have a personal commitment to myself that if I ever feel a strong need to drink I will attend a meeting first. I had to use that emergency strategy once, here in SE Asia, found a meeting, and got help. The most helpful tools for me were SR, therapy sessions, and reading about how my ego was controlling my life ( Tolle, DeMello).

Good luck Serenidad.

I found the same thing about AA after a while. I did AA pretty strictly a few years back, but it stopped helping as much as it hurt I felt. I have been to good meetings that I enjoyed, but also those that just made me worse. I had a big bobble a year ago, but have been sober since almost a year. I haven't been to an AA meeting. I check in here, go to the gym or run outside, eat a good diet, get rest, spend time with family and of course solve the world's political insanity in my head. :) There is so much to life that I don't spend much time thinking about "not drinking" as I do doing something else. There are a lot of something else's I will not get the opportunity to do if I choose to drink instead so I don't. I will say that physical activity is a major or the major part of my "program". It keeps me sane.

What helps most people in AA is the AA program, the 12 steps. My experience is that most people who assert that AA does not work, (either for them or for "most people") equate AA meetings with "AA". Almost without exception they are individuals who have not done the steps. AA IS the steps, and I would concentrate on doing those right now. Meetings are an important part of the mix for most people, but if they are problematic for you right now then concentrate on the steps. That's what is more likely to help you.

I had that feeling from AA meetings and tried several different ones but never felt comfortable, didn't really understand how it would help me.
I found AVRT useful in helping me quit and stay quit.
Loads of people here have so much experience in various routes to recovery.
I hope you find yours soon.
Stop & stay stopped

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself

Thx Captain! I DO listen closely & all they talk about is alcohol...the very thing I don't want to talk about...ugh. :-(

All they talk about at ALL meetings is alcohol. Ugh..,

Thx! Suggestions?

It makes me want to drink EVERY time I go! :-(

That's what I'm afraid of- and I've never been to a meeting. :/